Post # 1
Perhaps one or more of you have experieced this.m My husband and I have decided to start TTC and so I’ve let up on my social drinking. We see our friends fairly often.. or often enough.. and they are starting to say something about how I only have been drinking water/juice. Not that I’m a heavy drinker but usually when I see them, its over a glass of wine or two. Thing is I’m not trying to share that we are TTC so I’m not sure what to say.
Post # 3
@snake: Hmm. on a new diet? alcohol adds up a lot of calories 😉
Post # 4
I just say I’m the designated driver. If you usually take turns with your husband, you could say you lost a bet, and have to be the Dirty Delete for the next X number of months.
I haven’t been TTCing for long, but find the alcohol is a quick way to gain a heck of a lot of weight, so I usually try to stay away from it for the most part. So, you can always say you’re dieting and prefer to eat your calories.
Post # 5
@snake: order the glass and have Darling Husband drink it here and there. I would put it up to my lips and what not, take little sips when it wasn’t the tww, but Darling Husband would take huge swigs
Post # 6
You could pretend you’re drinking. Have pineapple juice without the Rum, Cranberry Juice without the vodka, Coke without the Jack Daniels… I’ve done this before when I just didn’t feel like drinking and nobody knew the difference.
Post # 7
I’m not TTC quite yet, but I’ve taken this month off of drinking and I get looks and questions from people. The reason I’m not drinking is because I’ve had some stomach issues lately and drinking makes it much worse, so I use that as an excuse. I basically say, ‘I’m taking XX amount of time off drinking to sort out my stomach issues’. I’ll probably use the same excuse in a few months when we’re TTC. The designated driver and diet excuses are good too.
Post # 8
I say nip it in the bud now. I had about 4 people close to me notice right away that I wasn’t having a beer once I was pregnant. I tried every excuse, but a couple of them started watching me like a hawk and constantly asked. It didn’t matter what I told them, they were convinced I was pregnant. I like @faye0314‘s idea of saying you’ve been having some stomach issues. I know I had to stop for a while when I was having issues with ulcers a while ago. It’s harder to lie once you’re actually pregnant.
Post # 9
I have often thought about this. I plan on stopping drinking when we are TTC however, DH’s family ALWAYS has a bottle of wine out at every dinner, and my Father-In-Law is constantly just pouring glasses without asking. Unfortunately for me, i always drink them LOL.I know it’s going to be quite obvious when i stop. How does everyone deal with also not eating certain foods once pregnant? I also come from 2 families who love their cheese, seafood and fish… I feel like even though we plan on not telling them until the 2nd trimester they are going to know right away. I am also a horrible liar, and my SIL’s are very curious and loud when they feel like they have something to share LOL.
Maybe i’ll just hide for the first trimester and hope no one notices!
Great thread.. have often wondered how you deal with friends and family who are likely to speculate even if you aren’t pregnant when you decline a beverage….
Post # 10
I would go with the diet change thing. I do this off and on (we’re not ttc) and I’ll stop drinking for a month or so here or there, whenever people ask it’s beause I’m trying to eat as cleanly as possible or lose a few pounds… I was also training for a few running races a few times and saying “I have an early run planned for tomorrow” (or workout or whatever) usually works as well.
Post # 11
Well personally I would probably still have a glass even if you are TTC. You could just take small sips to please them. You could tell them you are just trying to be more health conscious. I mean I used to drink all the time, and slowly as you get older I just lost the interest. Good luck!
Post # 12
I am worried about this too! We will be TTC starting after our July wedding, and while I don’t want to tell people, most of our friends and family already know that we want kids right away, so if I stop drinking (and I’m always drinking socially!) it’s going to be really obvious and I just don’t want people nagging me about it…I don’t expect we’ll get pregnant right away and I just don’t want people pestering me either!
Post # 13
I had this issue the other night while out to dinner with a vendor. I told one person I worked with who I know I can trust, and she helped me hide it through the night. She drank the wine I ordered and before everyone got there, I ordered a sprite and put a lime in it and told everyone it was a gin and tonic. Making it appear as if you’re drinking is a better solution than trying to come up with an excuse as to why you aren’t.
Post # 14
I quit drinking a few years ago (unrelated to TTC) and whenever my friends bugged me about it I would say, “I’m just trying to sort some health issues out right now and alcohol makes them worse.” I say don’t even drink a glass of wine, because one of the PPs made a good point: it is easier to get away with it now when you aren’t pregnant. If you get your friends used to this behavior now, hopefully you won’t get the “Are you pregnant?” questions later when you really are pregnant but not necessarily comfortable with revealing it yet.
Post # 15
@2PeasinaPod: The pretend gin and tonic is a great idea! I’m stealing this one 🙂
Post # 16
IMO, the best excuse is diet related. Everyone believes this because most women are always on a diet! Just say you’re trying to be good only a few more pounds to go and every bit helps. You can even say something like “Oh I might have a glass of wine later, but I’m really trying to be good tonight!” Second best excuse is that you’re hungover.
If you can pull it off, hands down the best deterrant is to drink a mocktail. The only problem with this is, I’ve been called out before because people have actually asked to smell or taste my drink! If I say I’m sick they say “Oh I’ll just smell it then”. Then they make a BIG deal about how they don’t think there’s any alcohol in it! Also, if you’re in a situation where the bar is very difficult to access and one person has to take everyone’s drink orders then you’ll be discovered. In that scenario, you can always order a glass of wine, pretend to take a sip and say you don’t like it. Just make sure you’re closest to the bar when you say it so no one can jump in and say “Oh I’ll order you a different one!”