Partner and sister are fighting :(

posted 2 months ago in Emotional
Post # 16
Member
4409 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

jellybellynelly :  people are being harsh on him?? 🤔

He sent his future SILa bill for fundraising cookies AND the medication he took. That’s ridiculous. If OP took his side she would look like an idiot too.

Your sister should send him a bill for her therapy session for the mental distress he caused her by being so absurd. He scarfed down an entire box of cookies and was sick because he spent a big chunk of money on them and his cheapness overruled. Seriously think about your future with this man.

Your poor sister.

Post # 17
Member
3245 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

This would cause no small amount of fighting if my Dh tried to pull a stunt like this. Tell him that if he can’t prove that it was the cookies that made him sick, and not anything else he consumed that day, then he can shut up. He’s being an asshole, and I’m sure the rest of your family will be well informed about this incident.

And if I were your sister this would FOREVER color my view of him, and to be honest I wouldn’t be sure I’d want him within 2 feet of my child again. Heaven forbid she pass along a cold to him and he suddenly sends her a bill for his cold medicine and wants compensation for time missed from work.

Post # 18
Member
5963 posts
Bee Keeper

It doesn’t say he ate all the cookies, he could have legitimately gotten sick from them. I said in my post that I think sending a bill is OTT. But someone getting sick and wanting a refund isn’t that crazy. 

Other people are also calling him cheap for scheduling out days/funds, but post says ‘we’ schedule and ‘we’ budget. So yeah, I do think people are being harsh. 

lifeisbeeutiful :  

Post # 19
Member
119 posts
Blushing bee

DTMFA.

Post # 20
Member
4409 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

jellybellynelly :  people are calling him cheap because he wants a refund, not because they have a budget.

Post # 21
Member
5963 posts
Bee Keeper

Actually multiple posters before and after my original post call out the scheduling of time and money as a shitty thing HE does and that’s not fair imo. Everything else is still OTT though lol. Such a big deal over $20 cookies. lifeisbeeutiful :  

Post # 22
Member
2828 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

OP if you guys budget for a meal out or a movie and it sucks, does your partner ask them for a refund? 

Post # 23
Member
4825 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

It’s pretty unlikely to get food poisoning from cookies, whether they are mass manufactured or home made. Either he stuffed his face full of cookies to the point that he felt ill or it was a coincidence.  The fact that he even thought it was remotely reasonable to bill your sister is insane.

OP this sounds like such a boring and unfulfilling relationship, are you really happy with this? The refund thing sounds like such a small issue but it is a huge red flag about who he is, I would honestly be reconsidering the relationship.

Post # 24
Member
922 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

Oh my. I really hope this isn’t real… 

If by chance this is actually real, I think you need to take a look at your future husband and decide if this is the kind of person you want to continue *spending* the rest of your life with. 

Hugs bee. 

Post # 25
Member
388 posts
Helper bee

I don’t believe this is real—/ but on the off chance since others have covered the direct issue, I’ll speak to a broader one. I say this as a person who has a husband who flies to multiple countries every week and who lives in two states I must maintain multiple households in for work. What the hell are you dong in your budget or schedule that requires that much time? For all our insane complexity we have like a five minute phone call on our schedule every week and a google doc we update. And why can’t you budget once a month with general categories of spending allocation? If real this seems unduly controlled.

Post # 26
Member
1660 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

I really don’t think you can get food positioning from cookies. He is so full of himself and cheap.  How embarrassing 

Post # 27
Member
10201 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

mathlove10 :  

A lifetime with this guy is going to seem very long.

Post # 28
Member
10201 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

rosegoldlover :  

Actually, I have had food poisoning more times than I care to recall and it has very often hit within 2-4 hours.

Post # 29
Member
10201 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

jellybellynelly :  

—He has absolutely zero evidence that the cookies caused his illness. Only a medical professional could determine that, but he chose not to seek medical attention.

—Anyone who legit has had food poisoning can tell you it doesn’t just blow over in a few hours and Pepto is an insult. I will spare everyone the details of what real food poisoning is like, other than to say that begging people to kill you is normal.

—The little girl is his fiancée’s niece, for gawd’s sake.  Even if, in the unlikely event that he did get poison cookies, (maybe the temptation was overwhelming) these people are going to become his family, unfortunately for OP. Sometimes, when you’re part of a family, you just have to take one for the team.

 

There is absolutely nothing in this guy’s behavior that is excusable.

Post # 30
Member
1050 posts
Bumble bee

First of all, he didn’t have food poisoning. I have had food poisoning and I was vomiting whilst also having diarrhoea at the same time upwards of 15 times a day and throughout the night for a solid week, and then had bouts of diarrhoea for 6/7 weeks afterwards. I lost 14 pounds over the course of a month. With food poisoning you don’t just feel a bit sick and irritable and get over it the next day, you feel like you’re dying. Even a sip of water makes you rush to the toilet to projectile vomit or worse. So he 100% did not have food poisoning. He had a bit of an upset stomach or a 24 hour bug that’s it. 

Secondly, he sounds like an uptight, petty, penny pinching arsehole. Drafting up and emailing an invoice for the cost of the cookies and medicine is pathetic. This cannot be the first time he has done something like this surely?

You’ve got much bigger problems on your hands here than him and your sister falling out. 

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