Partner and sister are fighting :(

posted 2 months ago in Emotional
Post # 61
969 posts
Busy bee

 I have to agree with the PPs.

These are character traits your are describing bee. Think hard if you really want to spend your life to a man who thinks and acts this way. You can’t marry a man hoping he will change and in my experience petty self centered men do not make good fathers, let alone good husbands.

If he felt OK by morning then he could have just had a gallstone attack from the transfats in the cookies. Pepto does not help food poisoning, if anything it makes it worse as vomiting and diarrhea are your body’s way of getting rid of the causation.


Post # 62
905 posts
Busy bee

mathlove10 :  It’s 20 bucks. He’s an architect. she’s a child.

Please don’t pay that money back to him, and don’t let future gifts be knocked off….the fck.

Post # 63
674 posts
Busy bee

OP- any chance you’re engaged to George Costanza?? Are you sure he’s really an architect? 

This sounds like a Seinfeld episode

Post # 64
2978 posts
Sugar bee

mathlove10 :  “Now my fiancé and sister are fighting and I’m just caught right in the middle!”

Don’t be. Move over to the side of common sense, courtesy and generosity. Also, there is no need to remain with someone of such low caliber.  

Post # 65
423 posts
Helper bee

mathlove10 :   Each Saturday we set aside approximately 2 hours to type out schedules for ourselves and budget our expenses. 

Good Lord.

Post # 66
862 posts
Busy bee

Fuck that shit. Seriously, sending a bill??

If that were my husband, I’d toss a $20 at him to make him shut up while also letting him know he can apply it to a hotel room, because ain’t no way in HELL I’m gonna “schedule” time to discuss anything with him.

Good luck in the future. You’ll need it. 

Post # 67
1195 posts
Bumble bee

Wtf? Let’s assume it was a food poisoning (which it wasn’t). Sure, let the sister know that there might be an issue with cookies. Next time, either buy the cookies and don’t eat them or just give the $20. It’s fundraiser. The point is to support the nieces whatever it was for the cookies are irrelevant. You dont bill someone and add medicine expenses. You dont punish a child. There has to be more severe issues.

I’m all for budgeting but this seems very intense if it’s 2h every week. Also scheduling meeting so you can basically have an argument face to face? This is very much over the top.

Post # 68
860 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2019


Post # 69
8659 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

mathlove10 :  Whose idea is the scheduling and budgeting? If it’s your idea, is it possible that this cookie ordeal is your fiance’s way of protesting? It sounds too outrageous to be genuine, but just outrageous enough to be making a sarcastic point. Not that this would make it better, but it might make more sense.

Post # 70
980 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

What the???? What the hell is wrong with him? Honeslty I would think he’s having some sort of mental break and insist he see a doctor. Otherwise, I would break up with his petty ass over this. This is truly crazy behavior.

Post # 72
3090 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2021

mathlove10 :  whether the impression we’ve been left with is false or not is something only you can determine, but keep in mind that the reason we have the impression we do is because we are looking objectively at a situation and behaviour that you described to us. 

Glad he realized he was being an ass. Now what does he plan to do about it? If it is anything less than making a sincere apology to your sister and niece that takes full responsibility for his behaviour and acknowledges that he was completely out of line, and a sincere promise that he will never behave like that toward them again, I would not be so quick to let this go and move on. 

He also needs to apologize to you and commit to some serious introspection to figure out what on Earth drove him to behave so absurdly so that he can implement better thought patterns and behaviours going forward.

Post # 73
220 posts
Helper bee

mathlove10 :  So who’s idea is it to schedule every waking moment of your life on a spreadsheet? Being financially responsible and looking at expenses is good but this is super OCD and down to the dollar crazy. I couldn’t live like that. If you can’t talk to your man about an issue without scheduling it in— what will your whole life be like? Will future children also have to schedule parent time or talk time with him too? I hope this doesn’t sound to harsh but if it does it’s because you should take a hard look at that dynamic. Tbh I couldn’t be with someone with his personality type and go along with it. 

Now, it’s petty for him to want the $20 back from cookies at a child’s fundraiser. It’s over the top for him to send a bill to your sister against your wishes and add expenses to it. I would be livid if I were you and you have every right to be upset. He’s an adult, he needs to start acting like one and grow tf up. 

Post # 74
11469 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

An apology would not put this in the past for me. Once is too many times and from all appearances this seems to be consistent with who he is. My strong hunch is that these two hour budget and scheduling sessions, and the rigid and obsessive need to control every dime you spend, when you can have a conversation or do something together is coming from him. Do you think any of this is normal? 

Post # 75
13461 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Anyone who bills a 9 year old for cookies is a serious douchebag.  

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