Partner is traveling a ton for work

posted 1 month ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
9461 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

Not quite the same but I’ve done long distance twice with my husband. Once we were close enough that we saw each their every weekend just not on the weekends. We did this for 2 years. Was it my favorite thing? No. Did it ruin our relationship? Absolutely not. 

A few things that helped:

1 – Talk every day, on the phone or Skype not just texting. Even if it’s just to say goodnight. I think it’s helpful to hear each other’s voices.

2 – Make the most of your weekends together. Have sex. Go out and do things. Do not save up chores for him to do while he’s home (not saying he shouldn’t help out but you don’t want to spend your limited time together doing chores).

3 – Stay busy during the week. Find ways to occupy your time. Meet up with friends, go to the gym, volunteer, find a hobby, whatever.

4 – Remember that it is temporary. This isn’t forever. You can do anything for a short amount of time.

5 – Maybe get a pet. I didn’t have one while we did long distance but when my husband travels now I love that my dog is here to keep me company.

Post # 4
Member
423 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2019 - City, State

thisisaname :  I used to travel a ton for work…almost 32 weeks out of the year one year and I was gone for 3-4 days out of the week. We FaceTime each night and text during the day. We also talk on the phone as much as possible. Traveling that much is stressful, but just keep an open line of communication and don’t sweat the small stuff. Also remember, just because he travels a lot doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. This sounds like a great opportunity for him. Stay strong and just keep busy. It will be okay! 

Post # 5
Member
1165 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

I travel a lot for work. I’m only really home Fri – Sun and have been doing this for probably 3-4 years now.

You get used to it. I still prefer to sleep in my own bed, but I don’t notice a strain on the relationship with my being gone. 

SO and I have always been very independent personalities though, so that definitely helps. It is funny now though because he has such a weekday routine with my being gone that when I am around during the week I basically get in the way. He’ll often jokingly ask me when I’m leaving again so he go back to normal lol.

Fortunately my dog is always thrilled to have me home the extra nights 😀

Post # 6
Member
701 posts
Busy bee

My husband travels Monday-Thursday I would say around 75% of the year. He has weeks off here and there as well as a month or so at a time. His schedule changes all the time. It takes some getting used to but honestly it’s just our normal right now. We miss each other so much during the week of course. I work full time, we have a cat at home, I workout most days after work and have hobbies/friends/family that I see when he’s gone. I think it’s honestly harder on him than it is on me just because I get to at least sleep in our bed. I don’t really have any words of advice other then find some ways to stay busy during the week and do your best to not take it out on him. I had to learn that as well. When I would miss him it would translate into me being a brat for no reason because I would be taking frustration out on him over random things. Honestly you just get used to it with time. I know I wish there was some magical thing I could say to help you. hahaha Us spouses dealing with traveling spouses should start a support group! :p 

Post # 7
Member
701 posts
Busy bee

Also I will say there is something to be said for your intimate time and alone time you spend together on the weekends when someone is gone. It’s like anticipation and longing that you don’t get when you see someone everyday! 

Post # 10
Member
9461 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

Adopt an older dog! You don’t want to take on puppy responsibilities all by yourself. Our dog was 7 when we adopted her and she’s been so easy because she’s already trained. That’s not always the case with shelter dogs but they can usually give you a good idea of how well trained a dog is.

And it does suck but it’s also not a big deal! You’ll make it through this just fine. Attitude counts for a lot so I think if you try to change to a more positive attitude (even if you have to fake it) you’ll have an easier time. thisisaname :  

Post # 13
Member
685 posts
Busy bee

Ditto the dog suggestion! And if you don’t want to commit to pet ownership you can always become a doggy foster mom through local shelters. Depending on where you live, shelters usually need fosters to care for dogs due to overcrowding, limited resources, or pups who are recovering from injuries. I’ve done this in the past and it is great because it’s all the perks of having a dog without the financial committment as the shelter usually provides food and vet care. Plus you get to help a doggo get back on their paws to find their furever home. 

Post # 14
Member
2899 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

My husband sometimes travels two weeks out of the month, in a row, and sometimes won’t come home on the weekends and while it sucks it’s not the worst. My sisters boyfriend is gone every single week, coming back for weekends only and it works well for them. My brother travels every single week and has a wife and two kids and they’ve done it for years.

a lot of people make it work, I think you just need to make sure you communicate well. My husband isn’t used to traveling and being away from me, we work in the same office when he is here, so his texting and phone skills were lacking when he started traveling and we got into a few fights about it but have gotten better recently. It just takes a little adjusting.

thisisaname :  

Post # 15
Member
343 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

My husband moved away for a couple years and came back every other weekend.  Not going to lie – it was hard.  Especially we found out I was pregnant after her accepted the job offer.  Luckily his job opened an opportunity at home so he was able to move back and go on work trips every second week for a few days.

What helped was that I worked on weekdays.  Weekends was a bit hard because it was lonely without him and it was filled with baby talks.  I tried to keep myself busy with taking our child out.

So my suggestion is try working on days he’s working.  Work will keep you busy from missing your guy.

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