Partner is traveling a ton for work

posted 1 month ago in Emotional
Post # 16
Member
204 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

My husband is a truck driver so gone most weeks Monday to Friday I find the things that help us are

get a cleaner if possible so not all the cleaning falls on you

talk every day even if tired for a short period 

schedule catch up with friends for Friday night or during the week

take up a hobby you can focus on

make sure to take time for yourself to relax eg I get my nails done

do things together eg coffee and a walk to get out of the house together

if near your family pop in for a visit during the week sometimes instead of always on weekends.

We have been doing this for a year now as he changed jobs and it is working though it did take time to work out what works for us

 

Post # 17
Member
436 posts
Helper bee

thisisaname :  Partner is a medical doctor, he’s currently doing an away rotation – basically sent by his hospital to a much smaller satellite one in a town that’s a good 3+ hrs flight away from our city. He’s been there 6 months now – weekends included. Honestly, you deal. As much as I want to be #1 in his life, I understand his commitment and I adore his dedication to his career.

We both knew going into med that the first couple of years will involve either a lot of moving, a lot of distance or both; we’re both adults, we can deal. Keep communication open, and don’t take your stress or your frustration of him being away out on him, POSITIVITY is key. 

I will say though, LDRs make or break relationships…some relationships thrive, a lot don’t – usually because one side gets insecure and it consumes the relationship.

Post # 19
Member
1580 posts
Bumble bee

Once you have your fur baby you will be like husband who? Haha just kidding. But it will certainly keep you busy and make the days without hubby fly by x 

Post # 20
Member
425 posts
Helper bee

My husband and I have been half long-distance for 5 years. That is to say, I work in a different state and live there Mon- Thursday most weeks, and he travels a great deal for work. We handle it by:

– Facetiming a lot. Sometimes when we are just working or sleeping with facetime open. 

– Having shared tv we watch in the evening sometime. 

– Planning a busy schedule for the week-gym classes, hobby things. Indeed, this makes our marriage better because we have stuff going on that interests us. 

– Working on developing friendships during the week. Its a good reminder that your partner should never be your only person. 

– Doubling down on fun on weekends when we are together! 

Honestly, the encouragement to be independent can be value-add to a relationship. 

Post # 21
Member
19 posts
Newbee

thisisaname :  Me and my fiance both travel for work and I agree with allllll the PPs. It’s fine and absolutely won’t ruin your relationship – you just need to stay connected (Whatever that means for you). For us, we text pretty much 24/7 thorughout the day with a thread of conversation on how we are going, and we skype / call at night. 

This: “why would he choose to be away from me?” is NOT the right way to think about it. He is choosing an opportunity for himself that will give him a better career, maybe more money, and make him happier as an individual. And I can almost positively say he’s doing it for a better life for you both in the end. It can be intimidating and scary spending time away, but find a way to support him 100% and I guarantee when he comes home on that Thursday or Firday night everything will be worth it 🙂  

Post # 22
Member
1371 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: City, State

Darling Husband doesn’t travel for work, but we have completely opposite schedules. He works overnights and weekends (12.25 hour shifts), and I work M-F (11.5 hour shifts). I literally get to watch him sleep for 8 hours on Sundays. I see him for 2 hours on Mondays and Tuesdays after work before I go to bed. 

At first, I was lonely and missing him like crazy, but now I have really grown to love my alone time. We always joke that we will never get divorced because we don’t see eachother enough to fight. We’ve been together for over eight years, and (almost) every time we see eachother it is sort of like a honeymoon. I love my husband, but I also love binge watching Netflix while eating icecream in my underpants. 

Post # 23
Member
747 posts
Busy bee

So I’m going to be more negative than other posters so far about the situation: I would be very very mad if my husband took a job that requires travelings regularly without being completely upfront with me beforehand. That is a huge shift in your life and your marriage and something you should been given the option of agreeing to or at the very least aware of before he did. I’m not sure what there is to do about it now but I for sure would be having a serious conversation about what he did. 

Disclaimer, I’m biased because I probably would not be with someone that regularly traveled for work. That’s just not the relationship for me

Post # 24
Member
6198 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

My Dh has traveled for work regularly for most of our marriage. It is what it is, and you deal with it. His job allowed me to be a sahm, has provided trips and cruises for us, and allows us to travel with the kids quite a bit. But then, I’ve never really been a dependent person in the emotional sense. His job is lucrative and fulfilling for him,and I don’t feel our relationship has suffered because of it. 

If it is something you cannot handle, then the two of you need to resolve it. But asking him to turn down a great opportunity because you don’t like to be alone is kind of selfish, imo.

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