(Closed) Partner moved back overseas now wants to give it another chance. Worth a risk?

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 16
3807 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2016


SLOBee:  This.  I highly doubt that he will move back to Australia.  What concerns me most is that he doesn’t seem to care at all what you want and that he only would want the relationship on his terms.  If I was in this situation, I would tell him thanks but no thanks and that he could get in touch “when” he moves back next year (again, I doubt he will).  In the mean time, focus on yourself, get a roommate, and move forward.

Post # 17
943 posts
Busy bee

I remember your previous post just before he left. Please please do not go. This man left you. He told you he wasnt in love with you and he told you that he felt pressured after 3.5 years together when you were only trying to get him to do the Visa paperwork. He has made no compromises for you. You have made all the compromises. 

He cant even give you a commitment. He is feeling a little lonely and he wants you to jump through hoops because he knows how you feel about him. 

He wants you to take unpaid leave. So what happens to your flat while your on unpaid leave and in UK? Do you lose it? What happens if you get there and it doesnt work out and you have to come back? Where will you go? Do you have a plan in place if you get to UK and things go badly and you have to come back early?

What is your financial situation? Even if he pays your flight there or back? What about while your living there? Will he be providing for your basic needs while you are there or while you have to provide those and can you afford to do that?

Perhaps most importantly are you ready to put your heart on the line again for him to once again change his mind and say again that he still isnt in love with you? Are you ready for that because this guy has gone back and forth so many times its a real possibility that he could break your heart all over again.


Post # 18
519 posts
Busy bee

You’ll find a man in Australia that will be so excited to stay there and will support your job and things will seem so smooth you will be amazed.

Best of luck with the apartment thing; it sucks that he has done all of this to you. I would really hold out for the real one who just glides with you.

Post # 19
732 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

Agreeing wiht Mrs.MilitaryBee on this one. What is your backup plan if you get to the UK and he dumps you (or you dump him) in 3 weeks? Don’t leave yourself vulnerable.

I also don’t think he is going to move to Austraila for you. Guys who propose tend to act on things, like buy a plane ticket and an engagement ring. If he won’t do that now, a few months isn’t going to change anything.

Instead of focusing on how getting back together may make it right, try this book: “It’s Called a Breakup Because its Broken”. The book is about talking yourself though no contact and then going out and having some mad single fun. If you find you are single and living it and still miss him after several weeks, then go visit.

Just a side note. I was in a relationship for 6 years where we were co-dependant and I didn’t want to loose that. Being on my own was scary. However, two weeks after it ended I met my Fiance, and I couldn’t be happier. To think I almost got back together with that frog is very scary to me. You really don’t know if your true Mr. Right is right around the corner. And Mr. Rights don’t leave you stuck with an ugly rent bill and a broken heart.

Post # 20
6018 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2016


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