Post # 1
Did anyone else deal with a Darling Husband who didn’t seem to like ANY baby names? Or who shot down all your ideas?
We aren’t finding out the sex and I’m stressing over not having any boy name options. I have given him lists of at least 50 total boy names over the last 3 months and he doesn’t like a single one! His main objections are “it’s not quite right”, it has a common nickname he dislikes, or he had a horror story student with that name (we’ve both been teachers for over a decade so a lot of names bring back bad memories). He has a long list of requirements that rule out a lot of names, but hasn’t come up with more than 2-3 possible names on his own. Our son is named after his grandfather so we never discussed any other boy names, whereas we still have our list of girl names from last time ready to go if this baby is a girl.
Any advice? We took a couple weeks off from talking about it but it’s still stressing me out. I know I’m picky too but at least I had some ideas!
Post # 2
He needs to provide you with a list of boy names. He can’t just shoot down all of your names but not contribute at all. I’m currently dealing with the name game as well as hubby and I are expecting. Whenever he gets too critical of my choices I remind him that I gave up my last name for his’ and our child will have his last name so I should get to choose the first name. Hubby is not enthusiastic about that stance but it’s hard to argue with. lol
Post # 3
Nicknames aren’t really an issue unless you have spiteful relatives who will use it even if you have told them not to. Schools are very good about using full names now; the parents choose what the child is called so there are lots of Christophers or Williams or Nathaniels.
Post # 4
YES, OMG are you me? My husband was the *worst* about this when we first starting working on names. We’re both picky, but holy hell, dozens and dozens of names I’d come up with he’d nix. Then I tried to go through suggestion lists together, and he’d literally say no to the whole list.
I finally got pissed and told him he had to give me a dozen names he was at least okay with by the end of the week or I was picking on my own. It’s not cool to veto everything, come up with *nothing*, and still insist on having your way.
I also had to start saying things like “you can only nix these names if you *despise* them, you cannot do it if you just don’t think they’re perfect.”
Eventually, we got down to a list of about 2 dozen names that neither of us HATED. We never could settle on one name we both LOVED, and so we finally just accepted that and selected a first-middle combo where he loved one, I loved the other, and we both were ‘okay’ with the other person’s choice.
Post # 5
rainbowduckie : I do need to find a way to get him to come up with more names. I know he is really hoping for a girl, but it bothers me that he can easily come up with 10 girl names he likes and then not have a single boy name idea for months, especially when he picked our son’s name totally on his own and I didn’t veto it even though I wasn’t in love with it!
I personally do think boy names are harder though.
Post # 6
We aren’t pregnant yet, planning to TTC in a couple months but I’m a bit worried about having this same issue! We have a list of girl names we like (and a top contender we will most likely go with if we have a girl). But in the 11 years we’ve been together we’ve yet to find one boy name we both like.
One of my friends used the app Babyname to help her and her husband make a list. It’s like tinder for babynames. It suggests names and keeps a list of those both you and your partner liked. I’ll probably download that when I’m actually pregnant.
echomomm : Tell that to my mom who hates the nickname I chose to go by. Once I got to middle school I told everyone to call me by a nickname even though my parents never, ever called me it. My mom hates it but I’ve gone by my nickname since I was 12.
Post # 7
FossilLady : yooooooooo Yep my husband was this way! T is the ONLY name he liked. If we have another boy, we are screwed.
i thought we were on the same page about liking slightly more uncommon but still classic names. I asked him for a list since he shot down ALL of mine, and the only name he suggested was “Jace”. What the actual hell?! Haha.
Just call him The Bean for life? 😁
Post # 8
hikingbride : I think boy names are really difficult! There are fewer boy names that are mainstream, and my partner and I just have really different styles. There’s no overlap on our lists. We also have different cultural backgrounds so that is probably not helping things.
The nickname thing is tough. Obviously a kid could later choose to be called whatever they want (my best friend legally changed her name at age 25, from a super common 80s name to something really out there!) but I agree with my partner that you kinda have to be OK with a nickname if it’s super common for the name, like Benjamin –> Ben, because you can’t be on name police patrol 24/7 for life.
Post # 9
FossilLady : use the baby name apps… he chooses names he likes, you choose what you like and with any luck you get a match. It can be pretty useful because he doesn’t know if he’s shooting down your choice or not. Plus you might see something you hadn’t thought of.
My husband is just as bad. Our son is Nathaniel and he says I’m never allowed to call him Nathan because of some kid in his childhood. I pointed out that he might want that nickname and at that point husband will have to suck it, lol. We never did pick a boy name for our second, though we had a very short list of possibilities. Luckily we had a girl, who got the name we picked out 2 years before. Good luck!
Post # 10
We agreed on 1 boy name and that’s the name we used. I hope we never have another boy because he will be nameless.
Post # 11
I was team yellow for both mine too and it was hard for us to think of girls names. Both times we had a boy name sorted going in to delivery. We have a boy and a girl. Our daughter was nameless for a while but we eventually settled on what had been a favourite all along. My husband while loving the name didn’t think we were ‘welsh enough’ to use a very welsh name (I was born in Wales so 🤷🏼♀️)
in the end when we saw her we saw that she just suited the name.
Try not to stress right now. It could well be a girl
Post # 12
hikingbride : I really wanna know what your nickname is now 😂 it can’t be that bad surely?!
FossilLady : I’m guessing the answer is no but is finding out the gender out of the question? If you’re having a girl then you’re going through all this aggro for nothing, and if you find you’re having a boy then that’s the ammo you need to tell your husband to sort it out and get his list of names together.
Post # 13
peach11 : I really don’t want to find out. We were accidentally told by the genetic counselor with our first after telling her we didn’t want to find out and it was really infuriating. He wanted a girl the last round, too, though I didn’t have a preference that time, and I think had we not found out until the birth it would have been a lot better because he wouldn’t have had months to worry about it.
I also really want to know her nickname, too!
Post # 14
rainbowduckie : okay that argument is GENIUS and I will 100% be using that from now on with my husband who is also picky with names and shoots all of my ideas down!
Post # 15
echomomm : Maybe it’s the Australian in me, but even if family and teachers don’t shorten nicknames, peers, colleagues etc often will. The child might even prefer the nickname as they get older, and ask themselves to be called it.
OP, if he named your first son, I think you should get final say on a second son’s name, as long as he doesn’t despise it. Alternatively, give him a date he needs to get a list of names he likes to you that is at least 20 long, otherwise you are picking from your list.