Party turned out terribly. SO upset!

posted 1 year ago in Beehive
Post # 61
283 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

I definitely don’t disagree that the song went over poorly and that the OP seriously misjudged the situation/audience, but it’s my opinion that even so, people being on their phones during the thing were being super rude.  Doesn’t matter in the slightest how weird/bad/awkward the song was, dicking around on your phone during the song was just rude any way you slice it. So is showing up to a nice thing in sweats and getting shitfaced.

If I had friends who were known to come to events dressed like slobs and then drink all my booze just to get blitzed, then I wouldn’t invite them to my dinner parties.  To the keggers, yes, but not the dinner parties.

Even if the OP had a bad time, seemed like folks still enjoyed themselves, so not a total loss.

Post # 62
18 posts

I don’t think OP is coming back after seeing the majority of the comments were not agreeing with how horrible her guests were! aside from one snobby poster that is. wink


She reminds me of that dip lady. It wasn’t on theme! The horror cry

Post # 65
716 posts
Busy bee

macbride :  Oooh boy. ‘Vast cultureless expanse of suburbia.’

Because of course, there are the urban and sophisticated folks  (I mean, who else is worth knowing, dahling!) and there are the cultureless boors of anywhere else! 😂

A big part of being a good host is knowing your audience. You don’t get to leave in a huff when things don’t go your way. Not gracious at all! 




Post # 66
283 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

techmom :  I don’t count Applebee’s as culture, if we must split hairs. 😀  I’ve found more culture and interesting people in general in cute little towns and rural areas than, say, the homogenous mono-crop of tech bro hipsters in big cities like San Francisco.  The vibrancy of culture has nothing to do with urban vs rural vs suburbia.  The friend I mentioned just happens to be in a pretty bleak area and has had a difficult time connecting with the right people.  He’s applying to other jobs so he can GTFO.

OP tried to do something “cultured” or whatever; and it didn’t work out.  Next time, she needs to just do the party differently or do it with a different crowd.  The true “culture” is finding your stride and your people, and once you do, it’s effortless.  My dinner party culture is candles and steak, while that of one of my friends is takeout and interesting technical conversations.  I do me and she does her, and an equally good time is had at both of our houses.  The culture is not about how bougie and “sophisticated” we can be, but about how we connect with people and have a good time.  I suppose that could even happen at Applebee’s haha!

OP needs to find her stride and her people for doing these things and not try so hard and get so flustered over things not going as planned/envisioned.  And more importantly, read the room and go with the flow.  I mean, I’ve had a couple parties start out as civilized affairs and then devolve into (very fun) shitshows – the trick is to recognize when that happens and work with it (bring out the high-proof cheap booze and put away the expensive stuff) rather than against it (getting all mad and retiring while guests are still in the house).

Post # 67
8320 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

jennifer242 :  

Why are people so salty, and weirded out by the singing? She did not get up there and masturbate or something.  

Well, I think they kinda thought she did . Of course OP did not at all mean  to, but unless it is commonplace  in your  circles, unexpected close contact singing  like that is embarrassing to most people .  I would have been , but then I would not have pulled out my phone, I’d  have  politely endured. 

Post # 68
1369 posts
Bumble bee

macbride :  “At least I’m not a vegetarian”

So being a vegetarian is an insult to you? You’re aware that many people are vegetarian per religious beliefs and because they disagree with extreme cruelty shown toward sentient beings? Sounds to me like YOU’RE the classless boor if you can’t conduct yourself with even a modicum of respect for dietary and ethical beliefs.

Oh, and you moved the goal post several times during your responses, so don’t think we didn’t notice. First, people are classless because they find it strange for someone to break into song at a party (life isn’t a musical, and, no that hasn’t been entirely normal since people played the “pianoforte” in a Jane Austen novel). Oh, but THEN they’re rude because they’re on their phones, and suddenly your biiiiig issue is being on their phones. 

And your hogwash about people showing up in sweats to a nice party is flawed: from the sound of it, no one KNEW it was supposed to be a “nice party” with an implicit dress code. But keep trying; after some practice, you’ll get better at logic and argumentation. This is a good place to cut your teeth anyway, as plenty of people will tell you how full of bullshit you are. 

Oh, right and this comment of yours: “The vibrancy of culture has nothing to do with urban vs rural vs suburbia.”

If that’s so, why did you initially insult suburbia, suggesting that it has no culture? Way to backpedal once you’ve been called out. 

Post # 70
283 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

Wow tough crowd, holy crap.  Make a joke retort and try to roll with the punches in response to be called out for being a snob (what should I have done instead, let myself get all mad and butthurt about posts on an internet forum?) and get serenaded with a giant sanctimonious rant because nothing gets read as humor here, I guess.  I’ll try to be super serious and not ever facetious ever again.

Post # 71
5564 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

macbride :  and get serenaded with a giant sanctimonious rant because nothing gets read as humor here, I guess


It does when it’s funny…

Post # 73
3393 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2021


bostonbee2018 :  thanks. Feels like a bit of a let down tho haha I was expecting a crazy lady but she doesn’t seem too bad. Only read the first page tho but she admitted right from the get to that maybe she did mess up and should apologize. The responses were a little over the top if anything lol

Post # 74
2235 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

macbride :  I figured you were joking when you said at least you’re not a vegetarian. I thought it was kind of funny.


sboom :  I thought the OP (in the dinner party thread, not here!) was pretty obnoxious when she banned alcohol from her house because “she didn’t want people to get sloshed”, but yes, she did acknowledge that with 100% of people telling her she was wrong, she probably was. She said then in the 2nd or 3rd page that she still didn’t understand why it was wrong.


Post # 75
733 posts
Busy bee

sboom :  The responses are often over-the-top in these cases haha. But I thought her initial behavior of refusing to put out the dip was as bad if not worse than this situation (and I’m an uptight theme hostess). But she did apologize to the woman after the fact, which I can appreciate.

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