Post # 1
My parents are going to a wedding tomorrow, and apparently they are going to have a “pass the hat” thing…(where people put money in it)…ummmm, WHAT?
My mom texted me to ask how much they should bring….I said “$20 because that’s just greedy”….then I texted “Maybe a penny would be more suitable”…..
It is my mom’s great niece getting married, and she also had to go to the shower…I think she has met her all of once before this….so it’s totally a money grab to invite my parents…..
Has anyone seen this done at a wedding? I am horrified at the idea…..
Post # 3
I have NEVER heard of that! I agree, horrifying!
Post # 4
Is that on top of the gift or is the money you put in the hat the gift? Also how does she know that it’s happening? Is this a cultural thing like a money dance?
Post # 5
When will this shit end?! A nice wedding gift should be more than enough. Couples need to stop being so f’ing entitled.
Post # 6
that’s tacky and reeks of money-grab. yea, they do it in church but that’s for charity!
Post # 7
I think my mom heard it from her sister (the grandmother of the bride)….and I would think that would be on top of gifts since they ARE registered…..
I told them seriously, just bring $200 in a card and PASS on the hat thing…..
I seriously don’t understand why people do this….are you getting married to get money and stuff from people, or are you getting married because you love that person?
Post # 8
Let’s not shout “tacky” and “money grab” without at least acknowledging that this is 100% socially accepted in many cultures (Portugese, Basque, etc). It’s no more of a money grab than a dollar dance is. Perhaps the bride is marrying into a family with those cultural roots, or lives in a part of the country where this is the norm depsite your roots.
In some countries it’s the bride’s dress shoe that gets passed around and stuffed with money.
Post # 9
I am forever amazed at the greed of some people.
Post # 10
I’ve never heard of it but it could not be any worse than the “money dance” (which also horrifies me). But different folks have different customs so whatever!
Post # 11
No, she is not marrying into a family with that type of thing in their culture…and unless I’m missing something in my family’s culture we also don’t do that at weddings….
Post # 12
I see it like this: If you want to put money in the hat, do so. If you don’t, do not and leave it at that. No one is obligated to do what makes them feel uncomfortable and if your mother thinks her gift is sufficient, then so be it. Its their wedding to do as they choose so I wouldn’t spend time getting angry or name calling. And the penny thing! better to just pass than become that petty. Althought it reminds me of the fund raiser scene in coming to America when Eddie Murphy says “If yall pass that basket ’round one more time, you’re gonna come up short!” 🙂
Post # 13
I’ve never heard of this before. Is it a cultural thing (like the “money dance”)? It seems very greedy. I would feel uncomfortable if I were put in a situation like this. Placing a penny in the hat would be funny. HeheHe.
Post # 14
@PamelaBrit: it horrifies me because it’s in such poor taste…..how would her grandparents (my aunt and uncle) feel if I did that at my wedding? (they are very money challenged)…..I think it can make people feel really uncomfortable if they can’t afford to give them anything…..
Post # 15
My jaw literally dropped.
What’s next, standing out on I-35 with a sign saying “Paying for Overly Ambitious, Aspirational Wedding. Anything Helps!”
Post # 16
To me it just sounds like the money dance, which is acceptable in certain cultures/areas of the country. Personally, it’s not for me though.