- 6 years ago
- Wedding: December 2013
Hi Bees –
I was hoping either one of you has been in your situation or would able to give me some advice on what to say to my Fiance.
Fiance just turned 30 and had been going through a slight mid-life crisis, partly because of his career. He’s been at his company almost 10 years (interned for this company in college then was hired right after he graduated) and he’s not where he wants to be.
He works for a design firm and he is one of the senior designers. He generally likes his coworkers but like so many people, they have all been expected to do more with less people so he’s been kind of stressed. Whenever the company hires a new designer, Fiance is the one that trains them because he’s been there the longest and because he does a really good job of it.
A couple of years ago a lower level managment position opened up. This position basically supervises the designers. Fiance applied for it and was interviewed but didn’t get it because upper managment said he was a good designer and wanted him to have ‘a couple of more years experience under his belt’ (he had already had like 7 years experience, but OK whatever).
The guy that was in that position left so one of the other managers encouraged Fiance to apply for it again. It sounded like Fiance would be a shoe-in. They were only posting the position internally and while Fiance didn’t know how many people applied, managment interviewed 4 of them, including Fiance.
They narrowed it down to 2 guys, Fiance and another guy that’s been there around 3 years that Fiance trained. Fiance found out yesterday that the other guy got the job. He was crushed.
Fiance went and asked the manager that encouraged him to apply if he did something wrong during the interview or basically why he didn’t get the job. Manager told him that it was really close, but they chose the other guy because Fiance is ‘so good at his job that they did not want to lose him as a designer’. So basically he was passed over because he’s good at his job? I guess Fiance said some things he shouldn’t have said like he’s not going to work at hard because it’s just not going to get him anywhere and then stomped out of the office.
Fiance said his coworkers are stunned and it’s causing a lot of drama in the office now. The guy that got the job is not a bad guy but it sounds like everyone thought Fiance should have gotten it over this guy.
Fiance is really not sure what to do. Since he’s been there so long and has a good salary he’s afraid to even look elsewhere as these firms can hire new college grads for a lot cheaper than him. Plus he’d be starting over as far as vacation time and things like that.
I want to be supportive but I am really at a loss for what to say. When he told me all this yesterday I was very quiet and just listened. He wound up going out after work with some of his coworkers and got home late, but because he’s got a good work ethic, he went to work today on time (although I think he really wanted to call in sick, he didn’t).
Any advice? It seems like with most companies, promotions are more a political thing instead of who really deserves the job. Fiance is really done with this place and I’m afraid he’s just going to quit before having something else lined up (I think he would have more sense to do that, but the possibility still worries me as he was just so upset!)