- 5 years ago
- Wedding: September 2013
My Grandfather had initially offered to give 5K toward my 10K backyard wedding. About a week ago, he decided that he was not going to contribute that money. I’m getting married on Sept 7, so everything has been budgeted, downpayments have been made, etc. He has been in the loop after every decision was made for the last 8 months. His reason was because he had suddenly decided I hadn’t spent enough time with him over the years, and that compared to his other granddaughter (my cousin) I wasn’t as loyal toward him or as involved in his life. He also told my mother that he would pay for my cousin’s wedding but would not contribute to mine for the aforementioned reasons. I was disappointed and stressed out by this, since we had just lost half of the budget and I couldn’t understand why he would all of a sudden decline to help, and why I was suddenly being compared to my cousin. So I wrote him a completely sane, level-headed letter that said I was disappointed, that I wish he had made this decision from the beginning, that once he DID decide he wasn’t helping, that I wished he would have told me ASAP so that I could make adjustments. I told him that I was disappointed in him and the situation.
THat’s the backstory.
Then, my cousin calls me up and berates me on the phone. How could I treat my grandfather in such a despicable way!? That the wedding has turned me into a monster and she doesn’t even know who I am anymore. That love should not be given a dollar value (duh, I know that, the point is more that I budgeted for 10K and a month before the wedding suddenly have half that for dubious reasons…), that I have truly and utterly hurt my grandfather and that she will NOT be attending the wedding. I told her that this situation has absultely nothing to do with her, that it is between me and my grandfather. I asked her why she felt she needed to become involved. She lives like 3 states away, it’s SOOO not even her issue. Ugh. She didn’t have a reason, she just wanted to yell at me I think.
Fast forward another day or two. I find out my aunt has blocked me from Facebook. OK…so I guess she’s mad at me now, too? And then I come home and discover that a yard tool was taken from my property. I had borrowd this tool from my grandfather a few weeks ago to help get the yard ready. My aunt somehow felt the need to orchestrate it so that my male cousins tresspassed on my property and took back the tool. While I was at work. Without my knowledge. Alright, so I get it she’s super pissed and being passive aggressive (again, how has the issue between me and my grandfather become her deal? Still not sure on that…)
So I text her and ask if she picked it up, and that if she hadn’t, I would need to file a police report for stolen property. She told me to ask my grandfather about it. (Even though I KNEW she had planned the entire thing, but OK fine.) She then starts texting me the exact words of my letter in “quotes” and applying it to the tool situation. So she must have had a copy of it in front of her, cus these were actual quotations. And now I’m thinking….hold cow, this is totally nuts.
So that happened. And to be honest, I don’t care about the money and never have. I ended up being able to take the additional 5K out of an investment account. From the beginning it was always about not following through on your commitments and backing out at the 13th hour. How that kind of behavior eats away at trust. And now none of them are coming to the wedding.
I suppose I do take some solace in the fact that the cousin has just booked one of the most expensive wedding venues in town…so he could have gotten off way cheaper with me! Haha!