- 7 years ago
your thoughts please..
my SO & I have been together for a year and a half now. we have been living together for about a year.
After some time he has mentioned he is passive aggressive, almost in a flip kind of way. I have no experience with it and paid it little attention.
I have been experiencing some repeat behaviour of his such as pulling away, sulking, blaming my anger for our problems and when our situation boils to a head and we actually end in an arguement and he says he has been unhappy for awhile and claims we fight to much and he points out days, days later where he claims we made people uncomfortable because we disagree’d on something.
I am floored and we says this and don’t see it. This time I sent him an email while he was at work. I thought if I expressed how I feel calmly by email it might help.
It did. he came home and started apologizing and crying.
I had attached links about passive aggressive behaviour (I have sinced learned a lot, still researching) & told him how I felt. He cried and said he knows.
I feel awful.
I love him and don’t want to be the next person to abandon him or walk away. (he has parent issue’s and an ex wife who after 14 years they fell apart. think that really was the straw that re enforced to him not to count on people. love is fleeting)
But… I also not sure how much I can take either. I feel so unloved sometimes, I don’t handle silent treatment and cold shoulders for days on end very well at all. I am a talker, I speak my mind and I hate uneasy in a relationship. stresses me out badly.
It hurts when I think we are good and he says he hasn’t been happy for last while. (yet, he text me & tells me he loves me during those times and cuddles me ) he is so hot and cold sometimes or says one thing but acts a different way.
does anyone have any experince?? does it get better?
or suggestions on how to handle it or him?