- 5 years ago
Abbreviation key for drama:
A = my ex-BF
B = my ex’s roommate
C + D = the couple who is getting married
Hello Weddingbee! I am a twenty-something just entering the “era of weddings” amongst my friends, so to speak, and I have only been to one wedding in my life, so I don’t know how to handle this particular situation. I have very little experience with weddings, but something tells me that not only is something off with this situation, but no matter which way you cut it, I’m going to be losing friends (if I haven’t already).
My boyfriend (A) of several years dumped me two months ago. We’ve remained cordial and on (supposedly) great terms. His roommate (B) is/was my best female friend from high school. They went to college together, where they became friends with C and D, who we all have now known for eight years now, and have all consistently hung out weekly, if not more. I always got along great with everyone regardless of what was happening with A and I.
Ever since A dumped me eight or so weeks ago, he insists everything is “fine” and we’re “good” but he never makes any contact with me after we hung out once or twice after the week of the breakup…neither does B, who tries to act diplomatic but dances awkwardly around the situation—she hasn’t made any contact with me over the past two months, either, except one, and she keeps making Facebook posts about how she, A, C, and D are all hanging out. Whatever, that’s fine, they can have whatever space they want and do what they want. I don’t need to be informed or come to everything; I’m not upset over that. I just didn’t think that the premise of A and B introducing me to them years ago had anytihng to do with my relationship with B…but apparently it does all of a sudden!
To top it all off, I got a voicemail (how convenient) from B, letting me know that not only am I out of the wedding party, but I probably won’t end up even getting an invitation to their wedding in September. When I called her back and asked why C wasn’t calling me, I got the answer, “she got a new phone and doesn’t know your number anymore,” and when I asked for an explanation, I was told, “C just thinks it’s awkward now that you and A have broken up. What if you bring separate dates to the wedding? Are you going to be ready for something like that? It’s just safer if you don’t come.”
UMM, ALL RIGHT. The thing is, C hasn’t spoken to me about ANY of this, and neither has the groom or my ex, but this seems somehow planned and I have no idea how to deal with it. If she did, she would find out that I’m fine with the situation, and maybe if there IS a situation, it’s between A and I, and I would NEVER let any of that affect her day. I’m just really disappointed and I’m thinking about just not going to the wedding at all now, but I don’t want to be rash or hasty. C is pretty much ignoring me—naturally, we all already bought our clothes and I already bought her a really nice gift like, you know, a best friend would do for your wedding. WHAT ON EARTH IS MY NEXT STEP? Do I return the clothes, recycle the gift, and just not go? Do I suck it up?
Help from my wedding experts? 🙁