(Closed) Passsing off Moissanite as a Diamond

posted 11 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
1676 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Your ring carat size and composition is nobody’s business but your own. If I were you I wouldn’t have a problem letting people assume it was a diamond (because most people probably will) but I would feel bad telling people outright it was a diamond if they specifically asked.

Who knows, someone may be in the same situation and looking for a solution to a larger carat size but without a diamond price-tag, telling them the truth might be doing them a favor.

Post # 4
1416 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

My opinion is this:  You don’t have to tell anybody anything if you don’t want.  I don’t think that it’s necessary to say “here’s my ring, by the way it’s NOT a diamond.”  It’s not really anybody’s business what it is.  If somebody asks, which would be rude on their part, I’d probably tell the truth, and give all the benefits for making the choice I made, but otherwise, keep it to yourself.

Post # 5
2018 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

you certainly don’t have to go around telling people it’s not a diamond, but if someone asks directly, what would you say? people will probably know that you can’t afford a diamond that big or clear anyway.

 i understand that some people think an e-ring must be a diamond, but why are you so concerned with what people think? the only thing that matters is that you love it.

Post # 6
279 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@4moissanite: Honestly, and I am going to try to be really nice about it, you shouldn’t give a crap what others think. You also shouldn’t be ashamed of your choice. There isn’t anything cheap about the ring you have chosen. IMO There is no reason at all to “hide” the fact that your ring is not diamond and it’s by no means a FAKE stone or FAKE diamond that you have chosen. If you’d like some specifics please look up Miss Tattoo’s posts and she will be sure the clarify that for you.

It shouldn’t be about what others think and the best way to change that is to be truthful and educate those that are not in the know.


Post # 7
4460 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Be confident in your choice. Don’t try to pass moissy off as a diamond. Moissy is it’s own gem and deserves to be celebrated as such. If you are under social pressures to get a diamond, then perhaps you should step back and look at the situation.

I will not let anyone believe my stone is a diamond, but no one has asked. I have had my ring for almost a month and only one person said “Oh what a HUGE diamond!” and I told her it wasn’t a diamond. It was moissanite, and she has since ordered a moissanite right hand ring and can’t wait for it to get here.

I’m not trying to tell you what to do, but it makes me a little sad that some people can’t get over engagement ring HAS to equal a diamond.

Seriously, you don’t have to walk up to strangers and say “Look at my moissanite! LOOK!” in real life it doesn’t happen. People will say, “I love your ring!” “Oooh It’s so pretty!” and you just thank them. You don’t have to give them a lecture about the properties of moissanite. Like I said, the only time I take time to correct people if they say the word diamond. And it’s happened once. The blogging world, my close friends and family know it’s not a diamond and my mother is actually proud of the choice we made and proud that I stood my ground against the “it has to be a diamond!” assult we were getting. Seriously, rock you rock. ^_^

Post # 8
151 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2009

I might get flack for this, but if it will make you feel better, tell people it’s a diamond.  Who cares?

Post # 9
8375 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I don’t think it’s awful. It’s nobody’s business but your own. It’s like asking if somebody’s boobs are real! I bet a lot of them lie =P

If you want to pass it off as a real diamond, go for it.

This reminds me of a funny story. My aunt passed away 20+ years ago. My dad saved her wedding ring/engagement set, which is pretty cool looking. He said he’d give it to me when i had a safe installed because it’s valuable. Well, turns out it is CZ and she had told EVERYBODY it was diamond! We all had a good laugh when dad took it to get appraised and found out it was worth squat.

Post # 12
5166 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

If someone actually asks if its a diamond and you say yes, it will be hard to go back from that. I would just be honest if someone asked.

Post # 13
3974 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I do not think there is any moral obligation to tell anyone what your ring is made of. It is nobody’s business.

It’s easy enough to let people just assume it is a diamond, but if someone actually asks, it’s up to you if you’re okay with actually saying it is a diamond or not.

Personally, I have no problem with telling people it is a diamond, especially considering how badly people can look at your relationship if they know you didn’t get a diamond (as if it matters, and as if a moissanite is even all the different… and also, as if diamonds are so special).

This is not to say I at all ashamed of my choice, infact I am super proud of my decision! But, if I can have all the same quality, beauty and the same esteem for a fraction of the cost, I really have no problem with taking it. IMO, I’m just a smart shopper. I got the exact same product for way less money. No one is hurt by thinking I have a diamond when I do not, so I do not see why I should feel guilty.

Post # 14
4554 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

My personal experience with this issue…

I had fully intended to just “let” people think it was a diamond. Not to lie, but just to…not mention it. About 30 minutes after I got engaged, I went to work. The newness hadn’t yet worn off the whole thing, and I was kind of emotional and still in shock.

The girls at the office all started asking about it, and commenting on its shininess. For some reason, at that moment it seemed like to try and “pass it off” as anything other than what it was would be to cheapen or dishonor it in some way. Again, this was COMPLETELY CONTRARY to the plan.

So they all gathered around me, and I told them.

I told them about the Kimberly Process and how I had sort of wanted a diamond at one point, but we couldn’t afford to get one that we could make sure was ethically harvested and not strip-mined, and then we found out about moissanite–which would allow us to get the setting that would look good now, and would accommodate the size of diamond I’d want should I ever find either an antique one I liked or one that was completely verifiably sourced. And how I saw a 1-ct diamond at Zales that we could afford easily, but how it made me  (feel dirty? wrong?) kind of shudder when I put it on. And besides, it wasn’t very good quality.

They sat and listened to me rattle off this spiel awkwardly, in one breath, bracing myself for their judgment, condemnation and scorn.

They kind of blinked. And they said excitedly, “We don’t care about that, tell us about the proposal!”

Later on, I passed two girls who weren’t there in the hallway. They asked to see. They told me it was really pretty and sparkly. I said “It’s a moissanite!” And one of them said, “Well, I wouldn’t tell people that!” And I said, “Well…I didn’t want people to think I was trying to pass it off……….” The other girl said, “Look. People are going to tell you it’s pretty. And you’re going to say thank you. That’s all.” First girl: “It’s your ring. You don’t have to talk about it like you owe somebody something. Be proud of it! I didn’t have an engagement ring at all!”

TL;DR: Decide what you are (or aren’t) going to tell people BEFORE you get engaged. And then stick to your decision, because waffling and being awkward about it just makes them think that you’re defensive and/or don’t like your ring. Hope that helps in some way.

Post # 15
5259 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I just wouldn’t lie.  Try to make a choice YOU feel comfortable with, so that you don’t have to.

Post # 16
96 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I think whatever you choose; diamond/non-diamond, big/small, new/antique, the list goes on… Someone somewhere might want you to justify your choice to them. The best thing to do is to be true to yourself. Pick what you love and don’t worry about what others think – after all, it’s you who will be wearing it, not them. As long as it makes you and your fiance happy, surely that’s all that matters. Jewellery is made to be enjoyed, not worried about.

And congratulations on your future engagement! πŸ™‚

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