(Closed) Passwords and Cellphones

posted 6 years ago in Married Life
Post # 76
Member
3383 posts
Sugar bee

View original reply
forgottenme:  I think it’s silly to not have a PW on a phone, considering phones can be stolen and I don’t want a stranger to have access to anything in my phone. 

Having said that, Fiance does not have a PW lock on his phone. I think that’s silly, but whatever. I do have one on mine. He does know the PW. We are both more than welcome to look in each other’s phones freely if we so choose, however we really don’t. I’m not saying I’ve never ever looked in his phone (with his permission), but it’s pretty rare. I don’t *think* he has anything to hide.

Post # 77
Member
248 posts
Helper bee

I know his lock pattern and he knows my emergency password if my fingerprint doesn’t work. I offered to let him register one of his fingerprints so he could get in when he needed to, but he said it wasn’t necessary. I totally have an open phone policy with him, not that either of us have ever snooped (as far as I know!)

Post # 78
Member
545 posts
Busy bee

We both have them and both know each other’s, due to so many apps being tied to credit card info. We have an “open door” policy in our relationship, where we can always openly discuss anything. No need to snoop, but if either of us wanted to look through each other’s device, it would be NBD.

Post # 79
Member
259 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

View original reply
forgottenme:  Omg sounds like my ex. I caught him exactly the way you did and he said this was my “out” if I wanted to leave. Like it was me that messed up somehow. Four years later I found out he was living a double life with another woman. Engaged to both of us trying to talk us both into getting pregnant. That is sort of your worse case scenario. But he was always super paranoid about his phone and I was constantly worried and “jealous” but for good reason. 

Post # 80
Member
2402 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Neither of us have passwords on our phones. I used to a few years ago, but only because I had a crazy boss who used to go in my desk and actually go through my phone. Fiance knew the password then anyhow.

Post # 81
Member
1189 posts
Bumble bee

Eesh, I don’t know what to tell you, except that I do understand why you feel uncomfortable. Did you know and accept that your husband is the type of guy to send photos like that before you got married, or did something change?

I don’t really know how to untangle this for you because I’m not in your shoes. It does sound like this is deeper than just a passcode, and like you and your husband might benefit from a few counseling sessions. Resentment and buried tension aren’t good for a marriage, so addressing this now would be smart.

Post # 82
Member
855 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

View original reply
forgottenme:  I think you’re being ridiculously hard on yourself to call yourself pathetic and paranoid for being concerned, your DH betrayed you and instead of appeasing your concerns by giving you the password or being more open about the texts he’s receiving, he lets you wonder.  In this case, I’d be wondering the EXACT SAME THING.

I do think this is a choice you have to make, it doesn’t sound like he is going to change.  If I were you, I’d have lost my sh*t by now and made it very clear.  I feel like he gets a charge out of doing this to you though…. which sucks.  Sorry.

Post # 83
Member
58 posts
Worker bee

DH and I both have passwords on our phones and we know each others.

He is a SUPER cautious person when it comes to security. Every account of his (and now mine) have very complicated passwords thanks to a password generator. We also use 2-factor authentication when we can. It’s not to protect from each other, but to protect ourselves from hacks and security risks that are very common nowadays. He has taught me a lot about security, I used to have the same password for everything which is a huge no-no.

Post # 84
Member
6331 posts
Bee Keeper

We both have passwords, and we know each other’s too. I wouldn’t want someone to search through my phone at work or something. There’s not anything super secret on our phones, so we sometimes unlock the other person’s phone if the other person’s hands are busy. 

Post # 85
Member
1263 posts
Bumble bee

My hubby and I both have passwords. His is a work phone, mine is not. We both know each other’s passwords. 

Post # 86
Member
4372 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

We are of the minority I guess but neither of us have passwords. We use each other’s phones all the time and neither of us have anything to hide…

As for ur updates, I think it’s unbelievable that he told u to “leave if u don’t like it” WOW what a prick, no offense. This is a huge red flag to me that every time u look at his phone u find something suspect on there! i also think his friends are pigs bc they’re sending UR husband loads of pics of naked women and group messaging each other like that. That’s fucking weird I’m sorry. I feel bad that you’re going through this bUR I don’t think it was very smart of u to stay knowing that he broke UR trust In the first place…He doesn’t necessarily have to tell u every time he texts someone who he is talking to, but if he truly cared about u he would at least attempt to win UR trust again by not being so shady.. I think u need to have a serious talk with him bc this is obviously affecting u a great deal and u shouldn’t have to worry about whether UR husband is acting suspicious all the time. He should be doing more to convince u he is worthy of UR love and trust! Good luck Bee, I feel for u….

Post # 87
Member
734 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

We both have passwords on our phones, but know each other’s. Heck, I even have my fingerprint programmed to unlock his. We also have passwords for each other’s emails, Facebook, computer, bank accounts, atm pins, etc. It’s just more convenient that way. 

Post # 88
Member
5360 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

View original reply
forgottenme:  Fiance had a password on his phone when we first met. He gave it to me pretty early on because he had an iPhone and my phone was not-smart, so I would use his to look up directions while he was driving or whatever. When I got my iPhone it sort of felt like his password was just how you open iPhones so I made it mine too. 🙂 We basically use them interchangeably when we are together. 

If he had a password and didn’t tell me it might bother me a little. Not because of him but just past relationship bullcrap that’s hard to shake. We have our laptop password protected for each user too. He knows mine because he set it up. I don’t know his but only because I don’t use it because he has his set up all weird and I can’t work it. 

Post # 89
Member
256 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2016 - 1950s themed bar

We both have passwords and we both know each other’s passwords (phone and laptops and bank accounts even!)…I’m the more jealous one of the two of us so he always lets me read messages over his shoulder if I’m there and just happen to see it; he never hides his phone from me. We also review his bank statements together and stuff like that…nothing is hidden

Post # 90
Member
6216 posts
Bee Keeper

I used to not have a password… but I also just got my first smartphone about a month ago, not being at all interested in having one.  We merged plans so I figured between that and people harassing me about how I don’t text, I might as well.  Still think texting is ridiculous sometimes – like when people have a full on conversation with me… just call!  He has always had a password and it never even occurred to me to care.  I know it, when I remember.  He’s never changed it and I occasionally used it to look things up when we were “arguing” on trips about things like his not knowing who Georgia O’Keefe was.  He knows mine as well, but I think he might space on it too, because why would he need it?

A password is a simple safety precaution against loss of your phone and everything on it.  There’s  next to nothing on mine, but all the same, I’d prefer no random was looking at our pictures, texting my friends or possibly finding my iTunes account or something. 

The topic ‘Passwords and Cellphones’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors