(Closed) Past event impacting relationship!

posted 6 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
Member
250 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I’m having a hard time understanding why this is stressing you out? Maybe you could elaborate?

Plenty of us, I would almost say the majority have had some kind of incident where we accidentally saw too much of someones sex life.

When I first read your post it reminded me of when I was 12 and visiting my aunt and her husband. I thought it would be funny to hide under their bed to jump out and scare them when they came in-not the case. They hit the bed and starting going at it! I had missed my window of oppotunity and had become an accidental creep. I inched my way out from under the bed made a run for the door to which they both jumped up at the sound of the door to which I acted as if I was entering rather than leaving, rubbed my eyes and asked “do you have any tylenol?” YEAH, now that’s akward. 

That gets filed i the mortifying/funny now place.

Post # 5
Member
2360 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

I’m not really understanding how this is affecting your relationship now, or what exactly it is that’s bothering you?

Shoot… TONS of kids walk in on their parents, even. It’s not that uncommon of a thing to happen.

Post # 6
Member
250 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Kacey23:  Ok I get that you get a yucky feeling knowing that they KNEW you would come out of that room and potentially see them. You’re right, yuck! But it was probably just an immature spontaneous thing. She was 22. She probably hoped it would be over or that your shower would have lasted longer. Unless there’s some horrible detail that you are omitting I would say it’s time to get over it. Clearly you can’t and I wonder why.. I will read your previous posts to get a better undestanding of your stance on life/sex. 

Post # 7
Member
2959 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

 I have walked in on others having sex from the age of 6 years old on. MY child walked in on me having some lovely afternoon sex when she was very young, like four years old. I really do think it happens to the majority of us at some point in our lives. It can be embrassing at the time but usually it becomes more humorous as time goes on.

Post # 9
Member
578 posts
Busy bee

i agree with PP. while it was probably really awkward for you, its probably time to get over it, darlin. don’t let it affect your relationships now. this same thing has happened to most of us! awkward but not a big thing. no use trying to talk to her about it, i wouldnt want to talk about it if i was her either lol

Post # 10
Member
2360 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

Well I’m sure it was awkward for her, too. I definitely wouldn’t want to talk about it, either!

What on earth do you want to talk to her about it for? XD

Post # 12
Member
508 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Is it the fact you saw her going at it or that the awkwardness from said incident impacting your relationship with this girl that’s bothering you?

Post # 13
Member
706 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I too am having trouble understanding why this bothers you so much. You were 16 at the time? And how old are you now? Sex is a natural thing and it was between two consenting adults. It was an awkward situation, sure, but it should really not be impacting you so much now. Are you uncomfortable with your own sexuality? Pardon my crudeness, but were you turned on by what you saw, and disturbed by your reaction? I’m trying to get a better sense of what you mean when you say that you’re “stressed out” by this memory. You definitely had no reason or obligation to tell your parents, since your friend was an adult, you were nearly an adult, and nobody got hurt in the situation. So you can let go of that guilt, if you have any.

Are you sexually active? I don’t mean to intrude, but I’m trying to better understand the context of these feelings. It seems to me like this should fade away as you get a more mature view on sex. I can understand a 16 year-old being shocked by walking in on her friend getting frisky, but it seems odd to me that an adult would be hung up on this.

In any case, I think it’s definitely time to let go of this memory if you are able to do so.

Post # 14
Member
706 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Also, in what way did you try to broach the subject with your friend? It’s an awkward situation all around and I probably wouldn’t want to talk about it if I were her, either. but I can imagine her reacting VERY differently to you if you approached her by saying “Hey, sorry I interrupted you guys, that was super awkward!” vs. “I’m very concerned that you are having premarital sex, and am offended that you chose to do so in my vicinity,” ya know? It might help us understand the situation better if you gave us more specifics.

Post # 16
Member
533 posts
Busy bee

Why is this effecting you so much? I’m really having a hard time that THIS one little incident is causing you much grief. I’m assuming from your username you are 23? You really need to it laugh it off and move on with your life. If something this small is still causing you to be crazy, I wouldn’t want to know what happens to you when bigger incedients occur. 

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