Post # 1
I need some advice on something. I had a best friend in highschool…9 years ago now…who we were inseperable. We promised eachother we would be eachothers maid of honours.
Well highschool ended and we went our separate ways (I moved to attend a school) and we kind of kept in touch but it was sporadic. Over the past year, since FI and I got engaged, she has been reaching out to me more (when I moved back home, she moved 5 hours away). We have chatted on the phone a few times, done lunch a few times when she is in town and chatted on facebook.
Now our wedding is about 80 people, mostly family (oh FMIL and her giant family she must invite!) and we are inviting about 12 friends and their significant others who we are actually friends with as well.
My problem is I am not close enough with this girl to consider her one of the “must” friends I couldn’t imagine my day without, but I think she thinks because she has been reaching out she is getting an invite. I don’t want to not invite her and risk her getting seriously offended, its just this is our wedding and everyone there friends-wise is in the loop with our lives…this would be like one of our catch-ups that happens about every 6-8 months. I just am not that close with her if you know what I mean.
We are also on a very tight budget as each person is $150 and she would need a guest so $300.
What do I do? I don’t want to put a nail in the coffin by not inviting her but I don’t necessarily consider her close enough for an invite anymore.
Post # 3
@missjewels: I’d just not invite her. no need to tell her unless it comes up.
Post # 4
It sounds like you are having a small intimate wedding with mostly family, which is exactly what I would tell her, but only if she asks. No one should assume they are invited to your wedding unless they receive an invitation. You don’t need to invite her, though.
Post # 5
You’re overthinking it. You already answered it by saying, “I am not close enough with this girl to consider her one of the “must” friends I couldn’t imagine my day without”. Don’t invite her and don’t give yourself grief over not inviting her. If she gets mad about it, then she’s childish and it won’t be that big of a loss to you in the long run.
Post # 6
Don’t invite her. If you aren’t close right now in your life, she doesn’t need an invite.
One of my childhood friends got married last year, we are on each others facebook and we liked the occasional status, and that’s about it! I wasn’t invited to her wedding, and that’s okay! I don’t expect to be! I just left some lovely comments on her pictures when she posted them and wished her a great honeymoon & marriage.
Post # 7
@missjewels: I had to deal with the exact same dilemma! They were my college friends – I spent a lot of time with them while we were in school but after we graduated we all went our separate ways and just talk to each other occasionally via email or coffee once in a while. I don’t consider them my close friends even if they are genuinely NICE people whom I like very much.
Needless to say I won’t be inviting them to my very small and intimate wedding (I do feel kind of bad about it because I sometimes find myself purposefully distancing myself from them these days so that they don’t feel like they ought to get an invite…:S) … anyhow the PPs gave some good insights/advice already!