(Closed) Past the excitement, can’t get it back… anyone else?

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
962 posts
Busy bee

@Elleymae: I feel ya girl! Maybe it’s time for a long trip away with your girlfriends or some time with the family. Give yourself some space

Post # 4
Member
3601 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

You’ll be happy when he asks. I wasn’t excited, either. I had had too much resentment built up to suddenly go to excited. 

Post # 5
Member
293 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I agree with helenberrycrunch! I actually found WB 1 week before my Fiance proposed to rant about him never getting around to it and how annoyed and resentful I was getting b/c I had been waiting forever. Then he magically proposed and all of my annoyance was replaced with excitement and joy! A couple of my friends said they felt annoyed and angry right before their proposals, but then were back to excited and happy once they got engaged. I know you will change your mind when it comes around! Promise!

Post # 6
Member
29 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Well, speaking as one who has been ready for engagement for several months but has years left to wait, I find it’s really important to focus on improving your relationship with the unspoken(!) goal of working together as a married couple.

When girls freak out about rings and weddings, boys think that that’s all they want – their end goal is a ring, a dress, and a party. At least I think mine feels that way! And of course it’s not true, all the worry is because I want him to show he feels as confident in the permanence of our relationship as I do, and it sure does hurt when he doesn’t. But I can help him out by showing him I’m invested, in ways that he understands better – not being a pushover or catering to him, but spending good time together, talking about mutually happy and interesting things, working on issues (you know what they are!) sharing life goals like where you want to live, what you want to do, stuff you’d like to try. It’s helped me a lot, anyway.

So maybe you could try taking all that energy you don’t want to put into nails and nice outfits and wishing for rings anymore, and just focus on your happy, comfortable relationship and finding out more about the man you are dying to marry. Don’t tell me you know it all after 2.5 years, do you? πŸ˜‰

Although maybe it’s easier for me to be philosophical about it because I have so long before I could even reasonably expect anything. Oh well.

Post # 7
Member
304 posts
Helper bee

@Elleymae: i’m an exotic dancer, so i have to constantly keep up with everything from head to toe. haha. but, it would sure be nice to have that be an option and not a neccesity for my job. ps- no matter how much money we spend on cosmetic stuff on top, i think our men only really see what’s inside =-) that’s what they love

Post # 8
Member
10 posts
Newbee

I feel for you girl! I did some of those things. IE trying to look by best and be really nice and helpful πŸ™‚ Didnt make a difference. Now, I just seem not to care, but do care, like you and Im getting somewhere. It seems that he wants to spend more time with me because he says that he feels like he hasnt seen me. Which he hasnt because i have other things to do besides walk around our house, like go out with the girls or something. πŸ™‚  Hang in there. You and I are in the same boat. We just need to choose not to stress over it. Everything happens for a reason πŸ™‚

Post # 9
Member
384 posts
Helper bee

It is hard and getting all “gussied” up and then nothing happening is so disappointing.   I’m starting to work on my nails, I’ve always had yucky nails….nice toenails, just not so great hand nails.  I try to look my best every time we’re together.  But, lately, I too have been thinking “I just want to be comfortable damn it!”  Then I put on something that’s not cutting up into me and I think I look fine. I don’t think manicures, spray tans or cosmetic surgery will help….they do have to love us for the inside (like a previous poster said). 

GEEEEEZ! 

Post # 10
Member
482 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

i’m actually kind of the opposite. i am just going through the motions now because i know it will be at least a few months before my SO proposes. i think once the weather starts getting warmer i am more likely to start doing stuff to make myself feel better anyway. i haven’t bought myself any clothes in months, although i have been getting my nails done for the past 10-12 years so that’s not something that will be an extra splurge. the only thing that i am doing a bit differently (at least since december when we came back from our vacation) is that it is back to the gym at least 4 times a week for me and my cooking/eating habits are changing. i am planning for our engagement party to be in september and when he puts that ring on my finger i better be at a weight that i am happy with. but i know it can be disappointing to get all dolled up and then let down. i think you will just be happy if you just be yourself. if you feel you put a moderate amount of effort into your appearance before you thought about getting engaged…do that. the excitment will come back. you’re just feeling like “what’s the point?” right now. i get that way by looking at all the pretty wedding stuff sometimes, like, “well, who knows when he will propose so what is the point in looking at all this stuff?” hang in there πŸ˜‰

Post # 11
Member
1192 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I am in the same boat. I have been waiting for a while now and there were so many opportunities that he could have done it and he didn’t. Finances are a bit of a problem right now since he was off work for two months from an injury. He would have saved up almost $3000 if that wouldnt of happened. Now he has gone back to that job and he may only end up being there for another two weeks ( construction trade) and he wont know until the end of the project. So what then? He needs some saving to buy the ring and I just have given up and I am really not that excited any more. There are other things he needs to spend his money on other then that and he just doesnt understand how much this means to a woman.

Post # 12
Member
121 posts
Blushing bee

@Elleymae: It can be suchhhh a frustrating time.. I say do the things that make you feel good for YOU, not in case “it” happens…lol  If you look good, good feelings tend to follow!!  Hang in there hon, hope it happens soon!!!  *hugs*

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