Post # 47
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
@NaijaPuertoDorian: Because if a woman is feels she is morally bound not to abort or finds out about her pregnancy too late–which is entirely possible with some states making abortion illegal after 12 weeks–she is now left to care for a child by herself with no help from the person equally responsible for that child’s existence. We’re also saying that a father has the right to take away a right that belongs to the child, not to himself.
Post # 48
@NaijaPuertoDorian: Anyone who took sex-ed in middle school knows that the only full proof way to prevent pregnancy is abstinenance. I’m already aware of this fact. I also realize that there are deadbeats out there that choose to do things like work under the table, to avoid paying child support, and that sucks. I don’t see the sense in making it easier for these guys to be deadbeats, by allowing them to walk away from their responsibility to support a child that they helped to create. And you’re absolutely right that the state will still end up paying for some amount of support if the father is “poor”. However, childsupport is normally factored into household income, when these mothers apply for assistance programs, and the higher the household income, the less the amount the government will end up paying.
“That’s absurd to me, a man should not be able to affect a woman’s private choice, a woman’s private choice should not have to affect that man.”
I understand your point here, to an extent. I feel like the man made his choice when he decided to engage in activities that might result in him getting someone pregnant. If you don’t want to be a daddy, don’t get a girl pregnant. Plain & Simple. There are women who for personal/religious reasons, just won’t have an abortion. As I’m sure you are aware, some people consider life to start at conception, and abortion to be murder. I’m not of this camp, but I think it is their right to have this personal opinion, and to make their decisions with this opinion in mind. And I don’t think its fair for those children to have to go without support from their fathers, after the decision was made to go through with the pregnancy.
Post # 49
I don’t really have an opinion on what the exact ramifications of his actions should be. But that is awful. That poor girl.
Post # 50
Absolutely, when a man is carrying a pregnancy. That’s only happened twice so far AFAIK.
Post # 51
I believe that all babies, at whatever stage of in-utero development, have a God-given, moral right to life, even though U.S. law does not protect that life if a mother wishes to terminate it.
The fact that U.S. law allows a woman to choose to end her developing baby’s life by terminating her pregnancy neither grants this legal right of termination to the child’s father nor negates the fact that the unborn life is a human one. Because of these factors, I think that the man could indeed be charged with murder of the unborn child.
As for the father not having a choice, I will say this: He chose, along with the woman, to participate in an act that has the ability to create a human life. Before doing so, it was his responsibility to evaluate the potential consequences of his actions within the relational and legal frameworks in which they were taking place.
Post # 52
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
When men start gestating and delivering their own babies they can have final veto power. Until then, if I am going to give up alcohol and sleep to nausea and for 9 months (not even getting into permanent stretch marks), then the woman gets final say in the matter. Not ot mention that babies are much more dependent on mom for the first few month (years) of life and while dad can be a solid substitute, biologically women are more prepared to take care of babies and infants.
Bottomline: Don’t have sex if you don’t want to get pregnant. If you must have sex, use birth control but have a plan/agreement for just in case that birth control fails. Whether it be keeping and raising the baby, adopting the baby out to another couple who desires a baby, or aborting. Having sex is having a responsibility to the life you may create from it.
Post # 53
I don’t believe that any man should FORCE (unknowingly or otherwise) a woman to miscarry. That’s wrong, absolutely.
However, I do believe that the man should at least be able to state his opinion-and have that opinion respected. Ultimately, it is the woman’s choice though.
But (unpopular opinion) I think that if the guy wants the woman to have an abortion and the woman does not, and she chooses to follow through with the pregnancy, the man should be absolved of all responsibility- financial and emotional- if he stated his opinion clearly in the beginning. In fact, I think there should be a legal document signed staing the man will have no responsibility at any point for the child. Basically, yes, it’s the female’s choice, but if her choice differs from the man’s, he should not be forced into responsibility- since she went ahead with the pregnancy KNOWING the man was not on board.
If you don’t want to risk pregnancy, use birth control-always. If multiple methods (pills,condoms) fail, then what I stated above holds true *** in my opinion.
Post # 54
A man shouldn’t have a say, because if they disagree there’s just no way of compromising. HOWEVER. If a man states that he does not want the child at all, he shouldn’t be forced to pay support for that child as it’s the woman’s choice. It is a woman’s body, after all, and a man shouldn’t be able to demand one or the other, but they should be somewhat protected.
Post # 55
There is not a way to confirm the pregancy is a result of a certain man that early in pregnancy. So the man having rights could not be proven/determined at say 8-10 weeks. Since it is ok to terminate a pregnancy in the first trimester, it should never be considered murder. -that would be the start of a right wing anti choice movement and could put many future womens lives in danger.
Post # 56
Controversial opinion: if a man does not want the pregnancy to proceed, then he should not be responsible for child support.
The mother has a choice. That choice appears to be entirely taken from the man involved. If she can decide that she does not want to take responsibility for the pregnancy, then why can’t he?
*covers head and waits for onslaught of opposing views*
Post # 57
very interesting topic! I agree this is a different circumstance but when it comes to abortion in general it does seem to me also that men have less say in what happens to their unborn child -wanted it not
i had an unplanned pregnancy 2 years ago and was sure I was going to have an abortion.i decided I couldn’t go through with as I was further along than I realised (4 months pregnant) my sons father, didn’t want me to have it but in he end said it was up to me because it was my body. He said if I had the abortion we probably wouldn’t be together me because he wouldn’t have been able to forgive me . Which I understand but my point is its hard on the men too that have no say and want their baby
im loving being a mum now but the first year or so was quite hard
Post # 58
Hehe @Hislittlebee at you covering our head and waiting for the onslaught 😉
Post # 60
@beachbride1216: no one is disagreeing with this. The problem is, while the woman gets final veto power, the man doesn’t even get a vote. Should the man HAVE to take care of the baby you chose to keep and go through 9 months of nausea and no drinking?
Post # 61
@Hislittlebee: I agree, BUT he must declare that intention while it is legal for the woman to abort. It’s not fair if he goes along with it until 8 months and then walks, because he’s now taken that choice away. (Meaning, if he walks, she should have the option to abort due to that knowledge.) At whatever point elective abortion is no longer an option, weaseling out of child support also should no longer be an option.