(Closed) Pay for bridesmaid’s flight?

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Would you as the bride pay for a bridesmaid to fly across the country for your wedding?
    No way. That's her responsibility as a bridesmaid. : (30 votes)
    40 %
    Definitely. If she's willing to make the trip, I should pay. : (26 votes)
    35 %
    Other/Not sure : (19 votes)
    25 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    46331 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Every situation is unique.

    It is not inappropriate to acknowledge that her situation is different than your other maids and that she has additional costs to be there for you.

    You are being kind and generous and what’s wrong with that?

    Post # 5
    Member
    14496 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I think that is so sweet of you.  If she is important to you I see it as totally reasonable, especially if it would put her in a spot.  I am paying for all the things for my BMs as neither one of them could afford to do it themselves.

    Post # 6
    Member
    7296 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    ah, i voted before i read the post and i voted “no way”.  but if you can afford it and want to, then go for it!  i WISH i could pay for my bridal party AND family to come to my destination wedding. but i just cant.  i did ask my BMs to be my BMs though and made it clear that i dont EXPECT them to come (because they have to pay their way). but obviously i am thrilled they are making the trip!

    Post # 7
    Member
    7771 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I don’t see what is wrong with offering to pay for a flight.  I think that’s a great idea.  I guess I don’t get it- am I missing something?  I don’t see the problem.

    If I could, I would.  Especially if they needed it.  And, it all depends on the situation.  How can people vote across the board “no?”

    Post # 8
    Member
    2263 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I think that the wording on the polls might be a little funny, so thats maybe why you got a lot of nos right now.

    I think that its great that you are and are able to fly your Bridesmaid or Best Man in for your wedding! Personally, I would kinda keep it a secret from the other BMs (not necessarily keep it hidden from them, but more like on a needs to know basis) just to avoid any possible conflict in the future; like “why didn’t she do that for me?” Unless you know they wouldn’t do that of course.

    Your not crazy just an incredibly sweet and caring friend!!

    Post # 9
    Member
    968 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    My Fiance has paid for the flights for three of his groomsmen (his nephews) and his sister (a bridesmaid) to come to our wedding next June. Otherwise, I don’t think they would have been able to come… ETA: That’s 4 of the total of 6 (including his parents) family members that he has coming to our 85 guest wedding…it was very important to him that they be able to come. 

    I think you should do what you feel is the best for your situation, no matter what other people’s opinions might be, as long as you can afford it, of course. I think that was very thoughtful and totally helpful of you to pay for your bridesmaid’s flight. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    1729 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    If you can afford it, of course it would be a really nice gesture! Personally I would probably only offer depending on the circumstances… location of the wedding and of course the maid’s ability to pay for it herself. Since it sounds like this isn’t quite a Destination Wedding, I think it’s nice to pay for her. It would be different if the wedding was in a vacation destination I think.

    Post # 11
    Member
    14186 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    I think that is super nice of you. Sometimes plane tickets aren’t that expensive, so I don’t think it’s that unreasonable. Plus, i think etiquette says that if she has to fly in (and buy her own ticket), you should buy her dress….and I’m pretty sure nowadays a lot of dresses are about the cost of a ticket!

    I think it’s super nice. Nothing crazy in my book =]

    Post # 12
    Member
    566 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2011

    I don’t think you should listen to whatever anyone else says.  I think it’s really sweet and nice of you to pay for your BM’s ticket.  It really shows what kind of person you are.  🙂

    Post # 13
    Member
    2889 posts
    Sugar bee

    I was in a destination wedding and the flights and hotel were costly so I really appriciated that the couple paid a portion of the flights for all of the bridal party members. I think it’s a nice gesture and depending on her financial situation could mean the difference of having her there or not.

    Post # 14
    Member
    277 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    Since you offered it, then it’s not crazy at all as long as you can afford it.  If she had asked for youto pay for it then it’s another story and I would have voted No Way.

    Post # 15
    Member
    11325 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2011

    I voted “other.” I definitely don’t think you NEED to… but if I had the money to do it and it wouldn’t be a hardship for me, I do think its a really nice gesture. 

    Post # 16
    Member
    4137 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    that’s very nice of you! if you can afford it and it was your offer, it’s very generous!

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