Post # 1
(this is my first ever actual post thread I’ve created woo!, i’ve only been a commenter till now)
Neither me or SO drink, ever. On the flipside I have no issue if people want to drink. I just don’t know what the etiquette will be seeing as neither of us will be drinking at our reception so is it still expected that we have an open bar, or would people understand if we paid for some and once that ran out it became cash bar? My opinion on it was, since we are only having a 40 person approx wedding, the people we are inviting are close to us, so know already we aren’t drinkers and if i’m being honest I’d rather spend the money on better food not alcohol that I won’t even be able to enjoy. Am I just pushing my own lifestyle choice onto guests unfairly and being a jerk!
The most likely venue will be a winery since we live right near the Yarra Valley in Melbourne Australia and there are so many gorgeous vineyards and wineries in our area. (ironic right since neither of us drink?? haha)
Thanks for your help!
Post # 2
If you are offering alcohol you should be paying. You are hosting, you don’t ask your guests to foot the bill.
Post # 3
I totally thought this was going to be about splitting a bar tab when going out if you only order a coke or soemthing. In that case, no! But for the weddding, as host, whether you drink or not should have nothing to do with paying for the bar tab. YOU may want better food, but as a guest, I rather skimp you skimp on the food and let the booze flow for me.
Post # 4
Whatever you offer should be paid for by you, regardless of whether or not you drink. My husband doesn’t like seafood, but we definitely paid for the sea bass option at our wedding.
Post # 5
This is totally dependant on your social circle. Some think cash bars are a crime, others, it is totally normal. And a recent post here suggested people would prefer a cash bar (with notice) to no alcohol at all. I think perhaps if your venue is a winery, you could have a couple of bottles of their wine at the tables with dinner and a cash bar if anyone wants other things to drink.
Post # 6
40 people vs.2 non drinkers= pay for the alcohol.
Post # 8
You will get a lot of different answers here. I’ve seen weddings with cash bar, some with open bar for a couple hours then cash bar, and I’ve heard of open bar, but never been to a wedding with one. I think it all depends on where you are located, and what the custom is to do in your area. You know your guests better than anyone else.
Hubby and I don’t drink and we treated our wedding just as if we hosted the guest in our home like we do any friday night. We provide food and refreshments and our family and friends know to purchase booze if they want it because we don’t have any in our fridge. Doesn’t offend anyone I know, but a lot of people on this board who live in a different area will feel different.
Post # 9
Many vineyards don’t allow outside liquor just their own wine. That should solve all the problems since you may get wine included with your package.
Post # 10
That’s a good idea actually
Post # 11
You can choose anything along the spectrum from an alcohol-free wedding to an open bar with top shelf liquor. Whichever choice you make, you pay for.
You are the hosts. Your guests should not have to open their wallets.
If you choose to provide wine and beer and no hard liquor, that is perfectly acceptable.
Post # 12
I think it would be sort of strange to get married at a winery and not have any alcohol. FWIW, we don’t drink either and still had a full open bar at our wedding. All of our friends and family drink, and we have no problems with it at all. We wanted to fully host our guests, which meant having a full bar. We aren’t non-drinkers for religious reasons, so we’re not opposed to paying for it for others.
Post # 13
Cash bar! I don’t ever mind paying for a drink at a wedding! It’s always a bonus if it’s free, but totally not necessary. We are doing an open bar, but again, Im never offended at a cash bar. I always bring money to every wedding just in case!
Post # 14
It is pretty standard at Australian weddings to offer at a minimum of beer, wine and soft drinks. Most winery packages will include this in the per person price (probably between $80 and $150 for the Yarra Valley region).
Honestly if I was invited to a wedding that didn’t offer the basic minimum and instead expected me to pay I woukd be miffed. I would be even more miffed if I also had to pay for accommodation in the region (especially during wedding season) and then be expected to buy my own drinks.
The only exception would be an alcohol free wedding (so no alcohol at all).
Post # 15
Personally, as long as the food is decent, I’m happy at a wedding. Cheap out on the quality or quantity of alcohol, and I’m not happy (and neither are most people I know). Personally, I think the two things that make a wedding are great music and a great bar. But that’s just me.
In the US, most wineries require you to buy your wine from them and beer through them (liquor license and liability reasons). And they don’t allow hard alcohol. Curious as to the norm in Australia.