Post # 1
Most of the etiquette books say it’s the bride and groom’s responsibility to pay for the accomodations for their out-of-town bridal party members. Our entire wedding party (14 people) are from out of town. How have others handled this? I don’t want to be rude and not pay if that’s expected but I have been in out-of-town weddings and paid for my own hotel so I’m not sure what to do. It is expensive for people to fly or drive to the wedding so maybe we should provide hotel rooms. (Staying in someone’s home locally is not an option). What do you think?
Post # 3
I’ve never heard of brides being required to pay for accomodations for their bridal party. It’d be nice, but I don’t think anybody will expect it; I think it’s more expected for you to try and cut costs for them in other ways, like providing food or paying for makeup or attire.
Post # 4
Four of my bridesmaids are from out of town and they are coming in for the week before the wedding (making a vacation out of it since we live in Florida!) and they are all staying with us in our house. I already told them months ago that we won’t be staying at the house for the night of the wedding so they will need other accommodations for that night. We set aside a block of hotels at the hotel next door to the venue for out of town guests for $139/night so if they all get a room together it will only be about $35 each. Unfortunately we won’t be able to pay for their room since we are paying for a portion of the wedding ourselves. When I was a bridesmaid for my best friend’s wedding we all got hotels for the night of the wedding and we all paid our own way. I never expected her to pay for mine. Hope that helps!
Post # 5
We did this for all of our wedding party. We also had everyone coming from out of town. Since they all had to come for the wedding rehearsal, I offered all of them my home the rehearsal night. It was a tight fit with 16 of us, but it sure made for some great memories with all of us in a small house!
My bridal party all knew each other, so this helped out a bit. I offered to pay for their accomodations with 2 people to a room. If someone decided they wanted their own room, I gave them $50 towards it.
However, I approached this as their gift. Since I didn’t want to financially impose on any of my friends, I paid for their clothing and accomodations. From what they all said, they appreciated not having to shell out a ton of cash to be in our wedding, even if that meant they didn’t get anything else!
Post # 6
I was in a wedding in MD and I live in CA. None of my travel/lodging expenses were paid for, nor was it expected. I like empyle1’s idea of giving is as their gift.
I don’t think it’s expected, but would be a nice gesture if it’s in your budget.
Post # 7
I think this particular piece of etiquette is from the days when you weren’t as likely to put everybody up in a motel as you were to perhaps have them stay at your house or put them up with local friends or relatives. However, it’s still nice to try to get them a break on room cost, or contribute something towards the expense, especially if they have had a lot of other expenses. If you can’t pay for their rooms, maybe you can take them to brunch, or have an extra dinner at your house (if they’re in town longer than just the day of the rehearsal and the wedding).
Post # 8
i offered to pay for 1 night stay, and to cut costs i also had people divided up into rooms, so the single girls w/o bf’s stayed in 1 room (3 of them), anoher girl who had a Boyfriend or Best Friend and sister flying into town were in another. One of my MOH’s knew i was on a really tight budget so she found a cheaper place to stay.
Post # 9
I paid for Friday night and they paid for Saturday.
Post # 10
That’s funny that you’ve read that it’s proper etiquette to pay for their accomodations because all the wedding how-to books I’ve read say that it’s customary for them to pay – part of being in the wedding party, etc. Five of the eight in my wedding party are coming from out of town, but three of the five out-of-towners are staying with family. Of the remaining two, my best friend and Bridesmaid or Best Man is coming from Maine, so I’ve offered to pay for her hotel since she’s already having to pay for a plane ticket. I’ve also let my bridesmaids know that I’ll pay 50% of their Bridesmaid or Best Man dress cost, since both girls are young and not making a lot.
Post # 11
I agree that it’s customary for the wedding party to pay their own way. But we offered to pay lodging in lieu of a gift. Some accepted and we booked their hotel rooms, others had other arrangements in place and we gave them a gift of the same cost.
Since you have many people in your wedding party, you could consider arranging (or paying for) a house rental. Even if you didn’t pay, it would be less expensive per couple than a hotel room. Plus, it would be convenient to have everyone together.
Post # 12
I also need to clarify that it was a gift to my BM’s, so you’re under no obligation to pay for their rooms.
Post # 13
my Maid/Matron of Honor has a vacation rental and offered to let me use it to house everyone, but Fiance doesn’t want to have a ton of random (our friends don’t really know each other), but i thought it would be fun to just have a large group of people to hang out w/ 🙂 we’ll see what happens.