(Closed) Paying for bridal party accomodations?

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
244 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2008

Yeah I read that on the Darcy (editor for martha stwart weddings) blog the other day and honestly I just think that’s a really really really outdated "etiquette" rule and when I read it I thought how horrible it was that now a bunch of people will be stressing over that extra expense.  Do not feel pressured at all to pay for everyones hotel rooms.  Sure if you have an open house with extra rooms it would be nice to offer them up but otherwise each bridesmaid can pay for their own.  I’ve only heard of the very wealthy paying for everyone’s accomodations. THe only way I’d do it is if I had a bridesmaid I loved who was having financial difficulties.

Also just b/c it’s from Martha Stewarts wedding blog please don’t feel like it’s something you have to do.  I remember when Darcy first started that blog she wrote about how she wore a white dress to her friends wedding and how she felt like it modern times it was o.k. to do. She got slammed with about 100 comments ranting against her…some downright evil. So if someone had followed that piece of advice they would have been a social outcast. I found it odd that she would ignore that etiquette rule but then advocate a very archaic rule like paying for all of the hotel rooms for the bridal party. I know some people think Martha is the bible of weddings but that bible can be wrong sometimes.

Post # 4
230 posts
Helper bee

Goodness, I hope not! If it’s in your budget, that is a lovely thing to be able to offer, but I don’t think most people today would expect that the bride and groom pay for accommodations.

I have tried to be really conscious of what I’m expecting of my party (in terms of money, time and effort), and I’ve even found it hard to ‘tell’ them what to wear, but to be honest I hadn’t really thought of accommodations in the same way. We are trying to arrange for a condo for the whole bridal party to stay at together (we’re getting married in a mountain town), which will cut down on their costs, but my main motivation for that was that it would be fun

Also, I guess that I knew that the girls I asked to be my bms would definitely come to our wedding anyway, and weren’t in dire straits financially or anything. If I did have a bm that wasn’t so fortunate, I would probably ask her about it and make sure she could cover things, offering some help if needed. But it’s definitely not in our budget to cover or even help everyone in the party.

Post # 6
45 posts
  • Wedding: August 2008

we’ll be paying for our bridal party’s accomodations.  we weren’t doing it out of ettiquette or anything, but we figured since we’re making everyone come out to the wedding, it would be nice to pay for the rooms since they already have to take a day off from work and all.  but yeah, it definitely is another added cost to our already excessive budget.  😛

Post # 7
161 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I honestly think that if possible, the gesture is awesome, but your bridal party comprised of your closest friends and family and they won’t be so rude or insensitive as to request for you to fork over more money for their comfort.  I won’t worry about that, they were probably honored that they were asked!

Post # 8
141 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

all my bridesmaids are married except for one and will obviously be bringing their husbands.  do i still pay for the rooms??

Post # 9
359 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I suppose I would if I could afford it, which I can not. I get very frustrated my all the things the media is suggesting that couples MUST do or have at their wedding. The cost can spiral, as well as the stress level.

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