(Closed) paying for bridesmaids dresses

posted 10 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: who pays for bridesmaids dresses?

    the bride

    the bridesmaids each pay for their own individual dress

  • Post # 3
    Member
    5243 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2012

    @pandaboo: My BMs are paying for their own dress.  I’ve never really heard of the bride paying for the dress at all.  $129 is not bad at all either!

    Post # 4
    Member
    1860 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    BMs pay for their own dress.  BUT I am paying for my Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses as a gift~

    Post # 5
    Member
    646 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    I’ve seen some brides post on here that they paid for their girls’ dresses (I think it could be a Southern thing?) but everyone is paying for their own dresses for our wedding.  No one had a problem, and my dresses are $180 before alterations.  $129 is a pretty good deal!

    Post # 6
    Member
    352 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I don’t know about it being a southern thing, I am from New Brunswick, Canada (which is pretty far north) I am / have paid for all my BM’s dresses, their jewellery, and will be paying for their hair and make up the day of. (no I am not loaded, lol) I got an excellent deal on the dresses so I just went ahead and got them. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    486 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2014

    Im not paying for my girls dresses. However, I did ask them before dress shopping if they would be okay with the cost of the gowns (280-290.00…129.00 is an unbelievable deal) and all of them said yes. Also, the color of the gown is dark gray so they will be able to wear them again since its not a “bridesmaidy” color and I had each of them choose whatever gown they liked from the collection (the only guideline was that it needed to be the same fabric and color so hopefully they will choose a gown style that they love). I am paying for hair and makeup, buying them all pearls plus a few other things (some cute vera bradley totes and such) but they are taking care of their own gowns. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    2570 posts
    Sugar bee

    Traditionally in the US the BMS pay. I would also say its the responsibility of the bride to make sure all the BMs know their responsibility when accepting. This can be hard though because most people seem to “know” what is expected. A dress, bachlorette and bridal shower, but not all. I never had to tell anyone what I thought was expected, they just did it. But in reality I should have told them.

    If she doesnt want to pay for the dress and your other BMs throw a shower and bachlorette, does she know she is supposed to chip in for that. Make sure she knows this or there will be further problems (and let the Maid/Matron of Honor talk to her about expected cost of these items)

    Also, my girls bought $180 dresses for about $140 as well. That is a good deal you are getting.

    Post # 10
    Member
    2570 posts
    Sugar bee

    @pandaboo: Well it sounds like she wants to be let off the hook without saying so.

    I would give her a call and tell her you are sorry you didnt let her know what was expected when you asked her and that you dont want your wedding to be a burden. Tell her not to worry about the wedding as a Bridesmaid or Best Man, but that she will always be special. If she decides she can afford it and wants to be ther she can show up Sunday at time, but if not you still appreciate everything she has done.

    If you put the burden on you, it will make it easier.

    Also, very, very very, rarely does a dress actually get worn again. No matter how hard we try. So I would actually just write that excuse off as to why she should buy the dress.

    Even if it is an actual cocktail dress that is great, how often do people go to events that they can wear one? Assuming they love it, they dont change size, its the appropriate season etc.

    Post # 11
    Member
    530 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I’ve always heard that bridesmaids pay for their dresses and I expect mine to. They also know it’s their responsibility. I was in a wedding where the bride actually paid for my dress because I was broke and had to fly to be in her wedding. It cost $300 (MUCH more than the dress cost) just to be there for her wedding.

    Post # 13
    Member
    2570 posts
    Sugar bee

    @pandaboo: good luck! you sound like a good friend and so does she. Just a bit surprised at the circumstances since she wasny expecting a lot of the costs.

    Post # 14
    Member
    53 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I’m paying for my bridesmaids. After the last wedding i was in i ended up spending between the dress,shoes, plane ticket, strapless bra, alternations, a whopping $800. I told myself i wouldnt bruden my bridesmaids. And with this economy, not everyone can afford a dress that they may never use again. I am picking a design that they can use later for night out on the town and prices range from $120-188

    Post # 16
    Member
    1646 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    i paid for a portion of a few of my bms’ dresses because they had trouble affording the cost. if it’s really a financial issue for her, and if you can afford to help her out and really want her to be included, you could talk to her about maybe splitting the cost? you can do it discretely too so that the other bms don’t know. it doesn’t have to be a pay for all or none kind of thing

     

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