Post # 1
I went to look for dresses with my bridesmaids today, and I heard that one of them thought that I would be paying for ALL the dresses! sorry I don’t have that kind of money, my parents paid for my wedding dress. She has been complaining about the cost. I basically told her in the nicest most polite way possible, that she doesn’t have to be in it! she said she’ll think about it. I don’t want someone who’s complaining about cost in my wedding ;/
the dress is $129
did you pay for your bridesmaids dress? or are they paying for it on their own?
Post # 3
@pandaboo: My BMs are paying for their own dress. I’ve never really heard of the bride paying for the dress at all. $129 is not bad at all either!
Post # 4
BMs pay for their own dress. BUT I am paying for my Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses as a gift~
Post # 5
I’ve seen some brides post on here that they paid for their girls’ dresses (I think it could be a Southern thing?) but everyone is paying for their own dresses for our wedding. No one had a problem, and my dresses are $180 before alterations. $129 is a pretty good deal!
Post # 6
I don’t know about it being a southern thing, I am from New Brunswick, Canada (which is pretty far north) I am / have paid for all my BM’s dresses, their jewellery, and will be paying for their hair and make up the day of. (no I am not loaded, lol) I got an excellent deal on the dresses so I just went ahead and got them.
Post # 7
Im not paying for my girls dresses. However, I did ask them before dress shopping if they would be okay with the cost of the gowns (280-290.00…129.00 is an unbelievable deal) and all of them said yes. Also, the color of the gown is dark gray so they will be able to wear them again since its not a “bridesmaidy” color and I had each of them choose whatever gown they liked from the collection (the only guideline was that it needed to be the same fabric and color so hopefully they will choose a gown style that they love). I am paying for hair and makeup, buying them all pearls plus a few other things (some cute vera bradley totes and such) but they are taking care of their own gowns.
Post # 8
Traditionally in the US the BMS pay. I would also say its the responsibility of the bride to make sure all the BMs know their responsibility when accepting. This can be hard though because most people seem to “know” what is expected. A dress, bachlorette and bridal shower, but not all. I never had to tell anyone what I thought was expected, they just did it. But in reality I should have told them.
If she doesnt want to pay for the dress and your other BMs throw a shower and bachlorette, does she know she is supposed to chip in for that. Make sure she knows this or there will be further problems (and let the Maid/Matron of Honor talk to her about expected cost of these items)
Also, my girls bought $180 dresses for about $140 as well. That is a good deal you are getting.
Post # 9
Thanks everyone for all the replies!!!
I assumed all the bridesmaids knew they had to pay for the dress. I should not have assumed. I have 5 in total, and the 4 girls are all happy with the price, except for bridesmaid V. I’ll name her that. I have 2 maids of honor and they told her that she needs to buy her own dress, and chip in for the shower and bachellorette party and that was a big surprise to her, too. She basically thought she would just have to show up and look pretty. I honestly don’t want her to be in it anymore but she won’t say no, after I already told her I COMPLETELY understand if she can’t be in it. One of my maids of honor told her the costs of the parties, and she just said she’ll think about it. well we’re ordering the dresses next sunday so they’ll get here on time for alterations, so she’ll just have to let me know by then.
I was asked to be in a wedding next august, and I automatically assumed I’m paying for my dress. I thought it was an unwritten rule!
The dress can be worn again. It’s a plum color, looks very elegant, it’s not a bridesmaid’s dress with poofy sleeves or anything cheesy like that.. it’s originally $149 but they get a $20 discount since I bought my wedding dress there..
Thanks for all the thoughts and opinions everyone!!
Post # 10
@pandaboo: Well it sounds like she wants to be let off the hook without saying so.
I would give her a call and tell her you are sorry you didnt let her know what was expected when you asked her and that you dont want your wedding to be a burden. Tell her not to worry about the wedding as a Bridesmaid or Best Man, but that she will always be special. If she decides she can afford it and wants to be ther she can show up Sunday at time, but if not you still appreciate everything she has done.
If you put the burden on you, it will make it easier.
Also, very, very very, rarely does a dress actually get worn again. No matter how hard we try. So I would actually just write that excuse off as to why she should buy the dress.
Even if it is an actual cocktail dress that is great, how often do people go to events that they can wear one? Assuming they love it, they dont change size, its the appropriate season etc.
Post # 11
I’ve always heard that bridesmaids pay for their dresses and I expect mine to. They also know it’s their responsibility. I was in a wedding where the bride actually paid for my dress because I was broke and had to fly to be in her wedding. It cost $300 (MUCH more than the dress cost) just to be there for her wedding.
Post # 12
@lefeymw: I did call her today after the appointment at the store, and told her I just want her to be there on my wedding day, and that as long as she’s at my wedding I’ll be happy, but she keeps telling me she’ll let me know this week and that she wants to be a bridesmaid but doesn’t think she can afford all of it. I told her I will not be mad if she can’t be a bridesmaid.
I honestly just think she’s afraid that when she gets married I won’t want to be her bridesmaid or that our other friends won’t want to be in her wedding. Because today my other BMs got more upset at her than I did.
I don’t want this to be a burden on her and I made it clear.
Thank you for your advice!!! I will let her know by saying she can show up at the appointment next sunday if she wants to be in it. if she doesn’t know then i’ll know 🙂
Post # 13
@pandaboo: good luck! you sound like a good friend and so does she. Just a bit surprised at the circumstances since she wasny expecting a lot of the costs.
Post # 14
I’m paying for my bridesmaids. After the last wedding i was in i ended up spending between the dress,shoes, plane ticket, strapless bra, alternations, a whopping $800. I told myself i wouldnt bruden my bridesmaids. And with this economy, not everyone can afford a dress that they may never use again. I am picking a design that they can use later for night out on the town and prices range from $120-188
Post # 15
@Ms.BlueEyes: wow $800 , that’s a lot! yeah I wish I had the money to pay for all of them but I don’t.
Post # 16
i paid for a portion of a few of my bms’ dresses because they had trouble affording the cost. if it’s really a financial issue for her, and if you can afford to help her out and really want her to be included, you could talk to her about maybe splitting the cost? you can do it discretely too so that the other bms don’t know. it doesn’t have to be a pay for all or none kind of thing