Post # 1
I have an etiquette question regarding paying for bridesmaid dresses that I could use some advice on. All of my bridesmaids are already married and three of them were extremely generous brides, offering to pay entirely for their bridesmaids dresses. I would very much like to return the favor and cover the cost of their dress for my wedding. However, the other bridesmaid had a very lavish ceremony and expected her bridesmaids to cover the entire cost (dress, travel, hair, accommodations, spa, etc). associated with her wedding. Is it completely inappropriate to follow the idea of “turnabout is fair play” and reciprocate what each bride did for me? Any adivce is appreciated. Thanks ladies!
Post # 3
- Wedding: March 2012 - Zama Beach Club, Isla Mujeres, Mexico
Sorry, Im not quite sure what the etequitte is on this, but if you pay for 3 of their dresses you should probably pay for all of them. If that one girl finds out that you paid for everyone elses dress she might be a little hurt.
In theory, I really like you idea and it makes sense, but better safe than sorry. Weddings make people very emotional about everything so you dont want to chance losing a friendship over a dress.
Post # 4
@petitfour: Pretty much this…
If your friendship isn’t strong enough that you to feel the need to keep score then perhaps those “friends” shouldn’t be bridesmaids.
Post # 5
I wouldn’t single one bridesmaid out…I think if you’re going to buy a dress for your friend for being a bridesmaid, then you should do that for all of the girls.
How would you feel if you were a bridemaid and were singled out?
Post # 6
@petitfour: Totally agree. If you pay for some you need to pay for all or not pay for any.
Post # 7
You definately should not single anyone out. What about paying for half of the dress? I was a bridesmaid for a friend and thats what she did. I thought it was great!
Post # 8
@maggie4131: Maybe if you worked out someway so the ones you pay for to not say anything.
Post # 9
@Captain013: yeah, but then what if something goes down and someone gets mad at the bride and starts blabbing secrets like that. I always try to think worst possible scenerio with things like that lol.
Post # 10
I would make them all pay for their own dresses, especially if you are letting them choose the style each wants. I would help them with costs on other things like makeup, hair.. I wouldn’t single any one person out though.
Post # 11
I have been in several weddings and always bought the dress and shoes myself. Typically the bride has given a matching purse or hairstyle in my experience. I’m only having my sister as a bridesmaid in my wedding in an effort to keep things simple. I offered to pay for her dress, but she declined.
I agree with some of the previous responses – you need to be equitable even if you have mixed feelings about how your one friend handled things. I think it would be very generous of you to purchase their dresses – but it’s not necessarily required. Perhaps you could do a spa treatment for everyone instead.
Post # 12
I have 3 bridesmaids and paid for two of their dresses. The 3rd girl and I had a sit-down and I told her the situation and promised her I would make it up to her in another way such as buy her boots, pay for her hair etc. She understod completely. Then again, the reason i paid for the other girl’s dresses has to do with other circumstances..
Post # 13
See, what they did was completely their decision……..now you decide what you want……..what suits to your budget……
I would suggest you to just pay for their dresses and if you can afford then pay for their hairs only…..no need to pay for travelling, accommodation, spa and all…….Keep all of them in mind before deciding anything……