(Closed) Paying for Bridesmaids Dresses…..

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
352 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Zama Beach Club, Isla Mujeres, Mexico

Sorry, Im not quite sure what the etequitte is on this, but if you pay for 3 of their dresses you should probably pay for all of them. If that one girl finds out that you paid for everyone elses dress she might be a little hurt.

In theory, I really like you idea and it makes sense, but better safe than sorry. Weddings make people very emotional about everything so you dont want to chance losing a friendship over a dress.

Post # 4
5667 posts
Bee Keeper

@petitfour: Pretty much this…

If your friendship isn’t strong enough that you to feel the need to keep score then perhaps those “friends” shouldn’t be bridesmaids.

Post # 5
1370 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I wouldn’t single one bridesmaid out…I think if you’re going to buy a dress for your friend for being a bridesmaid, then you should do that for all of the girls.

How would you feel if you were a bridemaid and were singled out?

Post # 6
3314 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@petitfour:  Totally agree.  If you pay for some you need to pay for all or not pay for any. 

Post # 7
62 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

You definately should not single anyone out. What about paying for half of the dress? I was a bridesmaid for a friend and thats what she did. I thought it was great!

Post # 8
1144 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@maggie4131: Maybe if you worked out someway so the ones you pay for to not say anything.

Post # 9
939 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Captain013: yeah, but then what if something goes down and someone gets mad at the bride and starts blabbing secrets like that.  I always try to think worst possible scenerio with things like that lol.  

Post # 10
104 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I would make them all pay for their own dresses, especially if you are letting them choose the style each wants. I would help them with costs on other things like makeup, hair.. I wouldn’t single any one person out though.

Post # 11
273 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I have been in several weddings and always bought the dress and shoes myself.  Typically the bride has given a matching purse or hairstyle in my experience.  I’m only having my sister as a bridesmaid in my wedding in an effort to keep things simple.  I offered to pay for her dress, but she declined.

I agree with some of the previous responses – you need to be equitable even if you have mixed feelings about how your one friend handled things.  I think it would be very generous of you to purchase their dresses – but it’s not necessarily required.  Perhaps you could do a spa treatment for everyone instead.

Good Luck!

Post # 12
474 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I have 3 bridesmaids and paid for two of their dresses. The 3rd girl and I had a sit-down and I told her the situation and promised her I would make it up to her in another way such as buy her boots, pay for her hair etc. She understod completely. Then again, the reason i paid for the other girl’s dresses has to do with other circumstances..

Post # 13
44 posts
  • Wedding: May 2010

See, what they did was completely their decision……..now you decide what you want……..what suits to your budget……
I would suggest you to just pay for their dresses and if you can afford then pay for their hairs only…..no need to pay for travelling, accommodation, spa and all…….Keep all of them in mind before deciding anything……

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