Post # 16
Brielle : When I say “I couldn’t participate” I mean that when the Maid/Matron of Honor was dividing folks up into team to tackle these events, I was put on the shower team. From the get go, they wanted to do the shower several states away. They asked me to help find a venue butttt, I’ve never been in that state, and would have no clue what a good venue would be that my future sister in law might like.
I communicated that difficulty to Maid/Matron of Honor saying “I’m not sure how much help I can be on this team since I live in a different state.” She said “I didn’t consider that, Ok, don’t worry about it.” I let her know I’d be happy to help else where and she said she would let me know.
That’s the last I heard of it.
I couldn’t attend the shower because it was scheduled during a weekend where I had to work so I didn’t plan and I didn’t attend. I appreciate all the advice on this thread! The cost isn’t much, it just stinks that all I can be for them is an extra wallet when I have other things I can contribute…
Post # 17
I wouldn’t give any money given the circumstances and the details you included here.
Post # 18
I’ve been in a similar situation and it is definitely frustrating. Where I am from, it tends to go unsaid that all bridesmaids are hosting the shower. We all gave some input, but it was quite minimal since the maid of honor wanted to handle the logistics. Eventually, an invitation came in the mail that explicitely stated that the shower was hosted by the maid of honor…yet all the bridesmaids each received a Venmo request for around $300. It was pretty ridiculous and I was angry, but myself and the other bridesmaids just decided to pay in order to avoid the drama and fund a nice shower for our friend.
These things can definitely be frustrating, especially when you are working with people you may not know too well. A lot of the time different people have different expectations as to how finances, planning, etc. should be handled. Like others said, if it’s not significant, I would just pay it and leave it at that. Otherwise, speaking to the Maid/Matron of Honor privately and explaining your thoughts is a good idea.