Paying for group transportation (destination wedding)?

posted 11 months ago in Destination Weddings
  • poll: Is asking $200 from each guest to provide group travel to the wedding unreasonable?
    Yes, it’s tasteless : (91 votes)
    96 %
    No, it’s helpful to those who can’t afford to come : (2 votes)
    2 %
    I think you should go with the bus tickets instead. : (2 votes)
    2 %
  • Post # 91
    Member
    984 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    Personally the fact that you are already legally married would not bother me or make me feel this was a fake wedding. It bothers me more that weddings today are so complicated and expensive that people have to wait a year or two or three before they can afford to get married. Obviously it may bother some of your guests. If you are religious, you could investigate whether there could be a religious ceremony. Some religious groups will do a ceremony blessing a marriage that already took place legally.

    Right now you are in a place many of us were in when we first started planning. Wanting a bunch of different things, some of which are in conflict.. I felt strongly about marrying in a butterfly conservatory, but it was a much longer trip for my relatives and the butterfly place only held weddings in the evening, making it harder for my young nieces to be there. The problem was solved for me when the butterfly place owner broke her leg and stopped scheduling weddings for a while.

    Take a step back and consider alternatives. If you go ahead with Orlando, I suggest that you provide no transportation, no lodging, and no food (outside of the wedding). Invite those you want and let  them figure out how to get there and where to stay. (Maybe only parents as exception.) Planning the wedding will be a huge and expensive task, so don’t complicate it by feeling responsible for also accommodating 30 guests. Keep in mind some people who RSVP yes will be no shows.

    You’re married now. Congratulations! As much as you are dreaming of your wedding day, remember that the marriage itself is what is most important. Some of the thousands you are planning to spend on transporting and lodging others could be better spent on a down payment for a house or an investment.

    Post # 92
    Member
    1512 posts
    Bumble bee

    Omg nooooo. Rent a couple minivans, anything but that! 

    Post # 93
    Member
    1512 posts
    Bumble bee

    I am also flying my “most important 4” to my wedding…  I didn’t even ask. I just offered

     Daughter who is 19 and broke, soul sister who has 4 kids and 25 year friendship, my soul daughter  whom I used to work with and mentored and is young n broke, and my baby sister who is jobless on welfare with three babies. 

    However I did not offer to pay for their young  kids because they can fly in and out over the weeked and have childcare. 

    I did not want that pressure on any of them, and I’ll gladly work a few extra weeks to finance their flights because they are important to me. 

    The others can afford their own flights or can decline if they don’t want to fly across country, of course. 

    But outright asking them to pay you in cash seems outrageous. 

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