(Closed) Paying for half of my engagement ring?

posted 4 years ago in Engagement
Post # 31
9562 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

my diamond is from my grandmother’s engagement ring.  then DH traded the rest of the ring towards my setting.  DH had minimal balance to put towards the ring.  my mom wanted me to have a really nice ring and DH wouldn’t have been able to afford anything.

i also bought my own wedding band.  i knew what i wanted.  so i told DH, we would each buy our own bands.

Post # 32
190 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

I picked out and purchased the diamond for my ring, and he purchased the setting for it, so it worked out that I basically paid about 25% of the total cost.

I had no problem doing that, because we share bills anyway, so in the end it’s “our” money.

I’d say do whatever works best for you 🙂

Post # 33
67 posts
Worker bee

I bought my diamond years before meeting my fiancé. I found a loose diamond for a great price and held on to it. When we started talking about engagement, I gave the diamond for him to use. It worked out well for us. He paid a few grand on a nicer setting and I got the diamond I loved in it.

Post # 35
860 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2017 - historical mansion

Yes, I paid for half of my ring, and I’m glad I did. That’s what I felt most comfortable with, and I feel that we are equal partners. He still went and picked it up in secret and surprised me with the proposal, so I thought it was the best of both worlds. I make a bit more money, and he has some student loan debt, so it definitely didn’t make sense for him to pay for the whole ring, even though he offered to do so. 

Post # 36
927 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

View original reply
ericamarie55 :  I’m sorry i think this shouldn’t be a 50/50 contribution.. If you do things 50/50 That is fine but honestly he should be getting you a ring on his own and it sounds like you have helped enough putting a down payment on a house ect… This should be entirely on him and maybe you both can split the wedding cost 50/50… Bees may disagree with me but i think an engagement ring is a gift and when you buy your SO an ENGAGEMENT ring this shouldn’t count as a 50/50 cost…. 

Post # 37
2849 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

DH paid for the majority of my ring and then we paid off the balance with joint money. I don’t see the issue.

Post # 39
203 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

We did this. We are modest earners so I put some money in a pot that could be used for it in the future if he ever wanted to. I felt like my taste demanded a bigger ring so then I should contribute. I am DELIGHTED that I did. I am in love with my ring. He actually also managed to catch me off guard with a ring as I had no idea he was planning on proposing so soon.

He is an awesome, fun, modern man and had no issue with this whatsoever. I would have thought less of him if he did. Its about starting a life together and a ring is a token of that. 

Goodluck! X

Post # 40
18 posts
  • Wedding: June 2015

We have joint bank accounts now, but we didn’t when we (I) picked out my rings. We were already living together, and the way I see it, once you get married, any money belongs to both of you. So everybody kind of pays for their own ring if you consider that money could have been in your account now instead of on your finger. He did insist on paying for my rings on his credit card even though we had the cash available in “my” account though.

Post # 41
28 posts
  • Wedding: July 2017

He paid for my engagement ring but I paid the wedding rings!  It worked well for us – been living together long before getting engaged and so we kept cost in mind!  Mine are both platinum antiques and total cost was under $1000, his is a 14k white gold 5mm band that was $380.

Post # 42
233 posts
Helper bee

I am not paying half, I am only paying a small portion. I insisted, to some resistance. I don’t need to do this but I want to in order to get my ring faster. 

Post # 43
1939 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

My DH paid for my engagement ring himself, it was a surprise. 

I honestly think it sounds a bit silly for him to insist you have a “nice” ring (meaning more expensive) when that’s not what you want or care about and it would practically wipe out his savings  (or even cause him to have to take a loan?!) and this leading to you thinking you could buy the ring.

Why? Why any of this? Talk to him and make him understand you want a plain inexpensive ring and that would make you happier than any big diamond could. Use your (joint) money for something better, paying off the mortgage or whatever. 

Post # 44
63 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

My ring was a family heirloom so we didn’t need to buy it but we are splitting the cost of repairs that we are having done. We split the cost of most things so it just makes sense for us.

Post # 45
79 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

We share bills and when it came down to it I wanted a nicer ring than he had saved for. It’s was 8 grand and he put up 6 and I put up the two. Totally no problem – I designed the ring and we are splitting band costs and wedding costs too. He supports the household as I’m a forever student lol. Hope that helps ! In the end it’s all one account, one family, do what makes you happy xo 

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