Post # 32
My Maid/Matron of Honor was the host of my bridal shower and I fully expected to do the same for her. However, the other bridesmaids were keen on pitching in, so we’ve each taken on some of the cost, though I have a feeling that in the end, I’m going to end up with a larger share of it, but, hey, every little bit helps!
(and I’ve got to disagree with MissCamera on how much a shower costs…I guess it depends on what part of the country you’re in, but there’s no way we could have done a shower for under $100 where I live. We’re probably going to end up somewhere around $500 for the whole thing.)
Post # 33
Wow, a lot of different opinions so you can see why this issue is so hotly debated.
While I know most brides will get a shower (or two or three) it is always optional. The ones who HOST the shower pay for it. Now, it is common for 3 or 4 bridesmaids to join host a shower so that is where the idea of the bridesmaids chipping in comes from. If you are not hosting the shower, you should not have to pay for it. Many bridesmaids also buy a joint gift but if one does not want to join in, it is perfectly acceptable.
I agree that the bride should NEVER have been brought into this conversation. I would ask the Bridesmaid or Best Man throwing the shower to respect the other BM’s wish and let it go, if only for your own sanity.
To everyone else….remember…whether it is $5 or $500, you don’t know anyone else’s personal and financial situation. While you can ask if she wants to contribute (either man-power or money) it is NOT okay to throw a fit if someone says no.
Post # 34
lunapark- I’m in NY just the same as you. It may have to do more with social circles than geographical locations. I dont see the point in throwing a lavish catered bridal shower that most people will leave after a "quick appearance" anyway. Every bridal shower I’ve been to has been low key, and usually at the brides mothers or Maid/Matron of Honor house. There’s usually food, people play a few games, the bride opens presents and everyone goes home.
I told everyone that I dont want a bridal shower because I think its unnecessary and with people spending so much to come to the wedding, I’d rather skip it. Besides I’d much rather have an awesome bachelorette party than a boring bridal shower with grannie and aunt jane any day. But thats just me.
Post # 35
I was thinking if I was out of town I would pay more since I would not be able to help out as much.