(Closed) Paying For The House I Didn’t Want…

posted 10 years ago in Home
Post # 32
Member
2128 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

That’s a tough situation.

I think you shouldn’t have to pay for the house… aren’t you paying on the farm and doing all the investments associated with that? And then she’s getting 1/3 that? If you own the farm you can write that all off as business expenses. Who’s currently writing all that off?

Post # 34
Member
2203 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Well no one gets to live for free so I guess I don’t see what the issue is? You are making it out to be a Mother-In-Law problem when it is a DH problem. If you don’t want to live there then either you need to get DH on board or learn to live with it. It is silly to be upset about your MILs working situation, that has nothing to do with it. No one is owed a free home. Maybe I am missing something, but that part makes no sense to me. 

Post # 35
Member
1888 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’m not sure how you’ll be able to get out of buying the house from Mother-In-Law, if that’s what she and DH decide to do.. HOWEVER, until your name is on a title, I would highly recommend you do not spend any of your condo money on renos.  I’d tell DH that if he wants to start renos righ away, to take out a credit line, then once your name is on title, you can use the proceeds from your condo sale to pay the credit line off.  You’re basically giving your money to your Mother-In-Law if you spend it on what is legally her house at this point.  Should anything happen, and as you say “she screws you” you’d have legal recourse to get money back, but I’d hate to think of how much of that money would be eaten away by legal fees.

Post # 37
Member
4771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@CherryWaves:  You made the mistake when you moved in. I don’t want to sound harsh, but if you didn’t want to live there, then you shouldn’t heave. 

I also agree with the posters who said that expecting to live somewhere for free is a very bold assumption. 

 

Post # 38
Member
2128 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

What if you just buy the house from your Mother-In-Law so it’s yours free and clear? (Even though you don’t want it. Your DH took the job of taking over the family farm, so you get the family house too. But once it’s yours you can renovate it).

If you are putting renovations into a house that’s in your MIL’s name, once she dies you’ll pay more in estate taxes bc the house will be worth more. Since it’s not your house either, you can’t take the interest deduction for taxes either (although I see you’re in Canada).

Doesn’t your Mother-In-Law have social security to live off of?

Post # 39
Member
2128 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

PS you’re going to pay for the house if you inherit it (in taxes) or you’re going to pay to buy it from your Mother-In-Law.

Post # 41
Member
99 posts
Worker bee

@farmerswife6

I agree, you have a huge DH problem. It really seems like he’s manipulating you at every turn. First with the overly complicated ownership of the farm with Mother-In-Law & her brothers, that a poor widdle sillyhead couldn’t posssssssibllly understand!!! (feel the sarcasm?). Then with a promise to move into the farmhouse (that you didn’t want) because his sister would get the city home (hmmm, wonder if she is helping pay MILs mortgage too).  And then a convenient “misunderstanding” between DH and Mother-In-Law about the rights of ownership for the farmhouse.  Add to that being vetoed by your DH on your wishes to build a new house on the property, and you still went ahead in good faith trying to make it work. And now he’s expecting you to put YOUR pre-marital equity into renovations on a house you don’t want and don’t own?  This is so fishy, it stinks all the way to Toronto.  Classic bait & switch.

And to the posters who are dogpiling on OP “assuming” she would get to live in the farmhouse for free (like she’s got entitlement issues)  – that’s exactly what her DH promised her & used as a bargaining chip to get her to move there in the first place – why wouldn’t she believe him? 

Back to you farmerswife – I don’t know if the laws are identical in Manitoba as they are in Ontario.  Here, what is yours before the marriage, remains yours if the marriage breaks up – with the exclusion of the marital home.  So, if you’re pouring your equity into the marital home, your DH is automatically entitled to half.  The other exclusion is inheritance, providng that you don’t use it to renovate the marital home, or pay down the mortgage on the marital home, or decorate the marital home , etc. – at which time it becomes joint property.  I’m sorry to be suspicious and bring this doubt to your mind as you’re still a newlywed, but from what you’ve posted -my spidey senses are tingling. I do hope that I’m wrong. 

Post # 42
Member
99 posts
Worker bee

Oh, and one more thing.  If Mother-In-Law “owes the farm” money and is “tapped out” why on earth is she buying another house?  How about GET A JOB!

Post # 44
Member
99 posts
Worker bee

@farmerswife6

The more you share, the more unfair your situation becomes.  In a previous post you said your DH does all the books – I presume for the business.  PLEASE tell me that you have an agreed-to household budget and that you’re both involved & in the loop on ALL the home & personal finances (this includes savings, TFSAs, investments, RRSPs, etc).  If not, then I am afraid for you that you will be handing over all YOUR equity and future earnings to support your Mother-In-Law, while being doled out a poverty level budget.  No flames here for getting dumped with leftovers – the flames would go to your DH who’s prioritizing his M over his wife!  I hope I’m wrong and that he’s not a lost cause mama’s boy…and WTF no bedroom?  How long has THAT been going on?  

Post # 45
Member
1947 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

@Zanne54:  Oh, and one more thing.  If Mother-In-Law “owes the farm” money and is “tapped out” why on earth is she buying another house?  How about GET A JOB!

THIS! 

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