Paying for travel costs in destination wedding

posted 2 years ago in Travel
Post # 2
92 posts
Worker bee

If you’re invited to a destination wedding and cant afford to go, then don’t go. Send well-wishes and/or a gift. 

Post # 3
3763 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Typically if you host a destination wedding you expect a large number of declines unless your family is wealthy. I’ve never heard of a destination wedding that included more than close/immediate family and friends. 

Post # 4
1064 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

An invitation is not a summons; people can weigh a number of factors including cost to decide if they want to come.  If they can afford the costs of getting there and they want to attend, they come.  If it’s too expensive, they can decline.  

The only time it’s a problem is if the couple gets shirty over guests declining.

Post # 5
9026 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

cocacola4ever :  I mean can’t this be applied to any wedding? Why should guests have to pay for parking because you choose to have the wedding in the CBD? Why should guests have to pay for a taxi at your local wedding? Why should guests have to pay for petrol to attend your wedding? Why should a guest have to pay for a babysitter when the couple say no kids invite? I could go on and on.


Post # 6
357 posts
Helper bee

Same could be said for any out of town guests….If traveling for a wedding is not an expense you want to incur then simply decline the invitation.

Post # 7
660 posts
Busy bee

When a friend invites you on a trip, do you expect that they pay for you? Or do you assume you will pay for yourself and not go if you can’t afford to?

And yes, couples who plan destination weddings usually have realistic expectations that a lot more guests will decline than they would for a local wedding.

Post # 8
1402 posts
Bumble bee

We expected a much lower attendance. Like PPs, an invitation is not a summons. We had many guests who were willing and happy to attend and pay their way. We also had many family and friends tell us no right off the bat. We had 40 people attend our wedding in Mexico and many people also treated it at their personal vacation (which is what you want, but No I cant pay their way there).

Post # 9
14987 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

On the same line then, why should bridesmaid pay for a dress they don’t get to pick out…that’s a even more ‘severe’ case of being told how to spend your money

Post # 10
277 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

We did a destination wedding knowing we would get a lot of declines, and we did not pay anyone’s way.  We invited 175 people, and we had 65 people attend, and we were thrilled with how many attended.  Almost everyone came for almost a week and turned it into a family vacation.  We have been told by many people it was the best wedding they ever went to!

i agree that an invite is not a summons.  Two of my best friends couldn’t attend due to finances and work, and while I was upset they couldn’t come, I wasn’t actually upset at them, there were no hard feelings.  If you can afford to and want to go, then go!  If you don’t want to go, then send your regrets.  If the couple is reasonable, I’m sure they’ll understand!

Post # 11
3193 posts
Sugar bee

We paid for flights for my sister (MOH) and for his brother (BM) because they were our attendants and felt they were the only ones who needed to be there, but everyone else who came, made the decision on their own to travel for our wedding.

I also have to travel for 75% of weddings and have never expected a B&G to pay for my travel…


Post # 12
13842 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Agreed with PPs – if you can’t afford the wedding, don’t go.  The B&G aren’t obligated to pay for you, just as you aren’t obligated to attend.  And in the case of destination weddings, most understand and expect higher declines. 

Post # 13
153 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

Consider it the same as inviting out of town guests and being expected to pay for their petrol and hotel! 

No the B&G are not expected to pay, just as guests are‘invited’ to decline if it doesn’t work for them. 

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