(Closed) Paying for your BM dresses?

posted 9 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
1074 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Nope, I don’t plan to pay for their dresses at all.  I also will allow them to choose their own dress as long as it meets a few set guidelines and of course a final “okay” from me.


However, I do plan to pay for their hair.

Post # 4
36 posts
  • Wedding: June 2010

Nope not paying for their dresses. With that being said I did not pick dresses that were very expensive or that I wouldn’t feel comfortable paying.

Post # 5
425 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

I had a 10,000 budget and Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses weren’t in my budget.  However, I did let my BM’s pick their own dresses based on my criteria (color and length).  The BM’s with less money found great deals and all of them were able to find dresses to fit their style and body type.  They all said they would wear it again!

I did pay for my BM’s hair and makeup as their “thank you” gift to them – I also got them a small clutch purse to carry on the wedding day.

I got a “deal” since the hair and makeup artist is a friend (otherwise I would have just got them all hair and had them all pay their own makeup).

I have been in 4 wedding thus far and have always had to buy my own dress – so I think its very common to have to buy your own dress.  However I would have LOVED to pick out my own dress. 🙂

Post # 6
611 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I’m letting my girls choose their own dresses with just a few guidelines from me and I’m offering to help them pay for the dress.  I figure I should at least offer to help them pay because I’m telling them they have to buy a dress that they otherwise would not have bought.  We are doing the same thing for our guys.  They are wearing suits, but because not all the guys have black suits we are offereing to help them buy a black suit.  We had decided this when we made our budget… and also because people are going to be traveling and we didn’t want to add more costs to them.

Post # 7
5497 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

I bought my MOH’s dress because she was having financial issues. Everyone else is going to buy their own. They get to pick with only a couple guidelines.

Post # 8
337 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I paid because we are having a destination wedding and felt bad about the costs for travel and accomodations.  The dresses I found were both retail so were very cheap, but super cute.  That being said, I have been in several weddings and have never had my dress paid for by the bride even partially, so I don’t think you should worry at all about making them pay.  It’s traditional, and I think most people are aware of that when they accept being part of the bridal party.  And I didn’t get any say in what I was wearing for any of them.

Post # 9
519 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

I didn’t pay for the dresses, however…I took my sister (MOH) and cousin (16yrs old and a BM) shopping and had them try on dresses they liked and some that I picked out…they both LOVED the dress I really wanted. I am willing to pay to have the dresses altered after the ceremony…because I don’t want to see the dresses hang in a closet and never be worn again. In fact, I am thinking of buying one of the dresses for me…I LOVE it that much!


Post # 10
494 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I am also having a Destination Wedding and only a Maid/Matron of Honor so we are paying for her dress…my mom is paying for her hair/makeup (along with mine!).  But she will be covering the alterations to the dress and shoes/accessories!  I also bought her a hair flower to wear!

Post # 11
3788 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Where I am from, it is more uncommon for the bride to pay for the dresses than not. They expect to pay and have me pick the dress (or general style/brand/whatever), but I will stay conscious of their budgets.

Post # 12
4765 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas

I’m not paying for their dresses, and I’m letting them wear pretty much whatever they want. I told them the dresses should be yellow, but beyond that they can get anything that makes them happy!

Post # 13
832 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

my BMs are paying for their own dresses. we really can’t afford to buy their dresses. i picked the style & the colors. i did make sure i picked something that they could wear again on its own or have altered and wear again. i also found something that i knew i would be comfortable paying for. (oh & it didnt hurt that they get 10% off from the bridal salon!). im having them wear their hair down & straight and letting them wear black dress shoes of their own (no sense in buying shoes when you cant see them). i figured that would save them a lot of money. Most BMs know that theyre supposed to pay for their dress unless theyre told otherwise.

@Miss Lily – my girls are wearing those too!! i love them & i sooooo want one for myself!!! 🙂



Post # 14
121 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I am paying for the my Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses. I also just graduated college. However I am only having 3 girls and these are my closest friends and they are special to me.  Had I had a larger Bridal party I would not have paid for the dresses. They are picking out their own shoes.

Post # 15
253 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I am not paying for their dresses but I am buying their shoes and will pay for their hair and/or make up for the wedding.  I found a line of dresses that they can pick their own style and made sure it was affordable.

Post # 16
404 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Yes, I am paying for their dresses.  But there are only 2 BMs and they are my younger sisters.  We are really close and have similar taste in clothing so it should be easy.

I live in Arizona and one of my sisters lives in Washington and the other in Michigan.  We probably will not all be in the same place at the same time until the wedding in October.  Although, I have been sending them ideas online to get their opinion.

BMs will be paying for their own shoes and their flights back to our hometown for the wedding.

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