Paying half or a proportion of the price of the ring to get a better ring?

posted 2 months ago in Rings
Post # 2
Member
809 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2021

I don’t really have thoughts on it… there’s no right or wrong answer here! However a couple decides to purchase their engagement ring or rings just depends their needs and their wants. 

Post # 3
Member
1036 posts
Bumble bee

I think its a great idea honestly. I also like that it brings the recipient into the decision making process, and is more of a joint venture. 

Post # 4
Member
663 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

I think that a partnership is a partnership.  I remarried my husband after we divorced and my ering came out of both of our money.  Now the ring I got for my birthday that is currently replacing it, he paid for, but my ering we bought together.  It made sense for us.  Our lives are combined and it wasn’t a surprise engagement.  I picked out the ring, he liked it, too.  I made the arrangements and we paid for it.    I am the one wearing it, if I wanted something nice, why not chip in.  Now, to be truthful, I went for a moissanite instead of a diamond, because I had diamonds from when we were married before, but my ring was still a pretty penny and it helped that we used combined funds.

Post # 5
Member
554 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

I think it’s a fine idea and the couple should do whatever works for them!

Post # 6
Member
1261 posts
Bumble bee

I take no issue with it. I wanted to chip in on my ring – I didn’t see why my partner should be out all the money. He refused to accept money for the e-ring, but let me buy him a laptop and a goretex jacket that were about 1/3 of the cost of the ring.

Post # 7
Member
19 posts
Newbee

If it means I can have the ring of my dreams, HELL YES.

Post # 8
Member
1864 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2020

Sure why not? I offered. He ended up paying for my ring, and I paid for his. His cost more than mine! 😅 We split the cost of the wedding band because I didn’t think it was fair that he have to pay for 2.

Post # 9
Member
3980 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

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@jasminek:  I think it makes sense, honestly. I’m not really a fan of this mindset where the man HAS to pay for the ring out of his own pocket. If you are both living your lfie together, I think it should be a joint effort. One of my biggest regrets is that I didn’t offer to pay at least half for my ring. 

If this is something you have the means to do, the want to do, and it will not gravely insult your partner – you should absolutely do it!

Post # 10
Member
779 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2022

View original reply
@jasminek:  I offered to do this as boyfriend at time kept saying things like “I can’t afford the kind of ring you want” and so I would say “ok get me smaller” and he’d say “no I want to get you what you want/deserve etc bullshit” so I would say “ok let me pay half then or a portion” and he would say “no way in hell are you paying for your engagement ring” and that would be that. We then went to look at diamonds together after he called and made an appointment & sent them his budget… when I got there they brought out 3 diamonds in the price range he mentioned and I picked the cheapest one – he kept encouraging me to get the nicer one but I knew what he would be comfortable paying & didn’t wanna stretch it … haven’t regretted it love my diamond so much 😃 … I really would have been very happy to pay for my ring & had my now fiancé been on board with that I would have done so happily as I’ve never bought him anything even half of what he spent on my ring and I make more money than he does. 

Post # 11
Member
1062 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 1996

I think it depends entirely upon the man and the couple.  It’s fine if both are on board with it, but if my man wanted to be super-traditional and gift the engagement ring to me, I would be perfectly fine with whatever his budget was, and graciously accept the gift – though in that case I think he should take great care to be very aware what type of ring I would like, and choose accordingly.

Post # 12
Member
8409 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

View original reply
@jasminek:  I did. My hasband wasn’t thrilled with the idea at first, but I explained it as: in a couple months it’s all going to be Our Money anyway. What difference does it make if it goes towards a ring today vs groceries tomorrow? …. Except that I’ll be happier today. He saw the logic (one of the reasons I love him — no fragile male ego there) and I’ve adored my ring for over 25 years now. 

Post # 13
Member
3863 posts
Honey bee

View original reply
@Daisy_Mae:  This is so true! 

In my case, I had a diamond ring that my mother had given me so we used that as the center stone and he paid for the setting which also had diamonds. So while I wasn’t out of pocket cash-wise, using that diamond made his out-of-pocket way way less.

I’m divorced now, but if I were to get married again I would absolutely pay for half so I could get what I wanted.

Post # 14
Member
822 posts
Busy bee

I don’t have an issue with it. I offered to pay for half of mine but was told absolutely not. SO also thought that $15k AUD is a good price while I balked at that. $1-$2k is how much the rings I like cost. He would be very concerned if I paid for the ring or if it’s too cheap because everyone will assume that he was the cheap one. 

 

 

Post # 15
Member
76 posts
Worker bee

I’m all for that idea personally! Not necessarily to get a better ring, but just because I don’t really think it’s fair one partner is expected to spend potentially a lot of money on a ring while the other is not. But of course it depends on the couple and what works for their relationship.

The first time I talked about rings with my boyfriend I offered to pay for part of my ring. He turned the offer down – not surprising since he’s a bit more traditional in some aspects plus he makes double what I do so he typically insists on paying for both of us when we do something or go to the store, etc.

I did just buy a loose diamond from etsy, so I’m planning on telling him it’s an option to use if he’d like (assuming I like it enough for a ring.) I just feel kind of bad letting him pay for the whole thing when he doesn’t even really want a ring at all that I could buy him.

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