- 9 years ago
- Wedding: October 2011
I will never be comfortable with splitting costs, like he pays rent and I pay utilities. All the money that comes in to our household is OUR money and it’s going to support US as a family.
Like I said earlier, we have made major decisions based on the other person. I quit my job to move across the world with him. Why should I have to pay to live with him or pay my own groceries? Now, I am heading to grad school in the fall and our savings (from his paycheck) is covering most of my tuition. This is completely fair- I haven’t been able to work full-time for 2 years because we decided it is better for us to be together than for me to be working halfway across the world.
I guess I just thik that in a household all the money that comes in is completely 50/50, regardless of who earns it.
We are in the EXACT same situation and have worked it out like this: 80% of both of our take home income will be combined into one account that will pay the mortgage, bills, and all home-related things (groceries, gas for cars, whatever) and 20% will be kept in a separate account for each of us to use for fun and gifts for each other. I think – hope – this will work out 🙂
We have our finances combined 100%. We put everything in and agree where it all goes in the budget. There is no mine or his. We each get some money for ourselves but it is the same amount. I’ve heard too many stories where finances are not combined and sure enough one person gets a raise and it is all their money to do with what they wish. They get a new car while the spouse is struggling to meet their bills because they don’t earn as much or some such thing. So what if one person has enough to go on vacation and the other doesn’t? Does one spouse make a loan to the other? It can get pretty silly and yes, after years of financial counseling we have heard things like this.
When you are married you are supposed to be ONE, including finances. If you can do finances together you can do anything, lol.
I would agree on the joing account. Fiance and I put our portion (equally split) of all joint bills into our joing bank account and pay it from there…works for us!
Great imput ladies. Let me add this. I think Fiance might be uncertain about a complete combination because he owns his own business and that is his income. He only has the business account (ie, it is his personal account) So, if we join accounts, what happens to his business account? Should he make a separate account for that? Sheesh!
He should already have a separate business and personal account. Business income and expenses come and go from the business account. His income is a business expense and should be paid from the business account TO his/your personal account. Just like any other company writes a paycheck.
So basically I’d suggest this: he keeps his business account for business, then you two open a joint account where you each contribute the same amount, PLUS one more personal checking acct for you both for whatever’s left over after your joint contribution.
We both felt strongly about keeping seperate accounts. He pays the rent, I pay the bills. His portion comes out to be a bit more, but that works out fine. Once we have a house, we will have a joint account that is ONLY for mortgage and house related things.
We met at ages 26 and 28 and had already been living independently for a long time – so its just what we both feel more comfortable with. He doesn’t need to know how Im spending every dime of my own money, and..hehe, I like to be able to actually surprise him sometimes.
Here is how we do it, and it seems to be working. We have, what we call, the “house” account” where we both have 65% of our take home income deposited (we each have our own insurance and 401k). From that account, our mortgage, house insurance/taxes, and utility bills and cable, and weekly groceries, and home maintenence. We then both put 10 percent into a joint savings, and So that leaves us 25 % for personal expenses, which for us is our own car expenses, clothing, and going out (we take turns treating each other) For us this works. There is no “I pay this and you pay that.” and it seems fair. His income is much higher than mine, but he also has a newer car, which we use the majority of the time, when we are together, so when it comes to actual spending money, we have about the same.
We are very seperate, and it works for us. He has been paying me rent and half of all the bills since he moved in. I pay everything out of my account, create an invoice with the expenses broken out, and at the end of the month he pays me through paypal. The only thing we have joint is a credit card we use for groceries, fun stuff, dinners out, and our dogs. We make about the same amount so there isn’t really any issues where he can’t afford as much as me. He will also be paying rent after we are married. We have discussed this in full. He will never have any ownership in our current home. I believe this actually works out to his benifit in some aspects; he doesn’y have to worry about any unexpected expenses associated with maintaining the house, taxes, or the possible loss in value. It also frees him up to save so that we can buy our next home together.
we have a business – business is always separate from household. Otherwise the IRS will have a field day with you two!
We both have separate checking accts – but both are in both of our names in case of one of us dies (the other has access to it easily) I truly recommend this. We are responsible for balancing the checkbook for each acct that we hold – he does his, i do mine.
Both of us pay bills for our household – the business acct pays bills for the business.
We talk frequently about who pays for what each month, and that improves our communication- no one is left in the dark about unpaid stuff – who has the money can pay it, too, yay! the large expenditures – tractors, horses, etc. is talked about and the person who wants to be the primary responsible person for it has the last say so (they are usually the one who is doing all the research for the best deal too)
Since we both have separate but joint accts we can still surprise each other for birthdays, christmas, gifts etc.
It works for us!
have him add you to the deed or refinance in both names so you dont feel you are just paying him rent… I give my husband all my money and use a card becuse he is better with money than me
I don’t see anything wrong with paying him monthly…. I’m in the exact same situation, and it won’t change until there’s kids involved.
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