- 6 years ago
- Wedding: August 2012
I know why it bugs you: it’s weird O_O If you have a kid and stay at home, spend some time making that child into the adult you want them to be… O_O
@Blondee: Ahh! Personally, as a babysitter, I hate moms that do this. I used to babysit for a mom who would call me over then not go anywhere or do anything. She would sit on facebook, paint her nails, or talk on t he phone. It was maddening! Here I am feeding, changing, and entertaining your 16 month old while you do nothing! I finally told her I couldn’t sit for her anymore.
I think it’s unfair to assume she’s lazy just because she has a nanny and no job. I don’t know what kind of money she receives “from the state,” but I don’t think just because someone has some kind of benefits, she isn’t entitled to child care or time with friends and family.
She’s not a martyr for motherhood. She’s allowed to have time to get things done at home or get out of the house, or even relax, and I don’t think it’s any of your business nor your place to judge her.
ETA: Further, three times a week is not all the time.
It would bother me too, but I think I’d try to ignore it. Maybe she needs the time with friends for adult stimulation – I’ve had several friends have kids and say they go nutty with only infants/toddlers to talk to all day!
@starrynight: Yes, it was more money and work, but I babysit for several families as well as go to school full time. I would often squeeze her into a break in my schedule or another family who actually needed me would call after I had already committed to her. It was frustrating when that would happen because I would feel that my time would be better spent studying or working for another family.
@Blondee: I can see why it would irritate you, but isn’t this pretty much what every rich person does?
It’s called having a nanny.
Honestly I wouldn’t be opposed to doing something like this. SAHMs don’t get much adult interaction, and it’s a thankless, difficult job that often is totally unappreciated.
This way she has time to herself, her friends, etc. so she will be in a better mood and so the time she does spend with her husband and kid will be relaxing and meaningful.
Now, if she’s going into debt or being irresponsible somehow, then obviously this is a dumb arrangement, but I don’t see what is so bad about it. She probably shouldn’t advertise the fact that she’s a ‘full time stay at home mommy’ or whatever since it isn’t exactly true, but I can see why someone would want to do this.
3-4 days a week is quite a lot, but I am sure when the time comes I would love to have someone look after my kid for a day or two a week. Probably won’t happen though since we’re not independently wealthy and I want to do some kind of work whether my current job or my business (in development currently).
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