(Closed) Paying your own wedding- Do we need a rehearsal dinner?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 16
Member
2453 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

If you’re having a rehearsal, the dinner is a way to thank those people for helping with your day.

Pizza is perfectly fine for a rehearsal dinner. Grab a couple of ome toppings, a few 2L of soda, and call it good.

Post # 17
Member
1212 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I will echo PPs. No, you don’t have to do it. But if you are having a rehearsal, it is nice to hang out with the wedding party and eat. You can make it what you want; some people order pizza, some go to a restaurant, some have a potluck. We are going to the brewery restaurant where I’ve served for 10 years. We are inviting our parents, our BMs and GMs plus their dates, our master and mistress of ceremony and their kids. Their daughter, my cousin, is singing in the wedding and her brother is an usher. I am also inviting my grandma who is staying at my parents house for the weekend. Plus our children will be there. And of course, the officiant and his wife. Our photographer is my cousins husband, so I am inviting them too. After the dinner, the guys are going back to my parents house to hang out and do guy stuff in my dads mancave and the ladies are coming with me to the mansion. I am asking them to pitch in and help pay for the rooms for that night, which everyone is fine with. I am providing wine and snacks. If there is anyone that is staying in town the night before the wedding, I guess it’s up to them to figure out what they want to do. We can’t afford to feed everyone twice. I doubt that anyone else will be up, because at most the drive for out of town family is 3 hours and the wedding isn’t until 5. And hotels around here run about $100/night, more if you want to stay at the cute little ones near the beach. Thinking of that, I need to call around and see if I can get a deal for guests who will be staying in town after the wedding. 

Post # 18
Member
1837 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

In my mind, the rehearsal dinner exists just because you have a group of people who just got together for about 30 minutes to rehearse and now they’re hungry because it’s dinnertime and they’re close friends and family so they want to keep hanging out. So, I think it’s pretty practical. I don’t think it’s necessary, but people will probably want to continue hanging out and they’ll be hungry. I like the idea of having them over for a simple home-cooked meal or take-out, or going to a more casual restaurant. It doesn’t have to be fancy and catered. 

Post # 19
Member
1603 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

The ONLY people you must invite to a Rehearsal Dinner are the people needed for the rehearsal.  Out of town guests are totally optional.    Rehearsal Dinner can be pizza.

Post # 20
Member
1081 posts
Bumble bee

We paid for our wedding. We paid for our rehearsal “brunch”. We had a premade menu for the people in the wedding party and their significicant others and immediate family (parenys, grandparents). The premade menu made things cheaper, espically since it was brunch. It was at a fancy resturant, but because it’s not at high demand during brunch, we got private dining for about $15 per person, includes appetizer, brunch, and some at least one drink per person, and unlimited coffe, tea, juice and soda. It came out to be about $300 something before tax and tip and it looked like a million bucks.

i don’t understand why some brides think they need to invite all or of town guests for a rehearsal dinner. The party is the wedding reception. The rehearsal is for those who attending the rehearsal 

Post # 21
Member
14142 posts
Honey Beekeeper

There’s also no law that the actual rehearsal has to be done just before dinner. I’ve been to rehearsals that were done an hour before the wedding, in the afternoon, etc. 

Post # 22
Member
799 posts
Busy bee

I’m from the camp that if you are having a rehearsal you should have a rehearsal dinner. It doesn’t have to be fancy – purchase some pizzas and beer. We paid for our wedding and had a small rehearsal dinner (just immediate family and bridal party with SO’s – about 17 people). We spent about $250 for food and drink at a local restaurant. I had contacted them earlier about creating a special menu as well to help with costs. 

Post # 23
Member
756 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Jacksonville Inn

We had a small wedding so we invited most of our guests to rehersal dinner, but many couldn’t make it for various reasons. We hosted 10 people for about $300 including alcohol and tip. We went to an italian restaurant close to our venue that had banquet menus. We selected 3 differant pasta dishes………….spinach ravioli with pesto, cheese tortellini with alfredo sauce and meat lasagna with salad and garlic bread. The food was a huge hit, we had people arguing over who got to take the left overs……….lol. 

Post # 24
Member
860 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

We are having a small wedding an no rehearsal, so no rehearsal dinner. Although I suspect a lot of the immediate family will be over to visit and help set up that night. If there’s a bunch of people we’ll probably order pizza and call it a day

Post # 25
Member
1198 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

i’d never heard of rehearsals or rehearsal dinners before the bee. but i’m also not american… 

Post # 26
Member
288 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

View original reply
scarlette.seaman:  If you plan a rehearsal, as a courtesy, you should host a dinner. If you have out-of-town guests, it would be polite to extend an invitation to the dinner.

Post # 27
Member
14142 posts
Honey Beekeeper

While RDs are optional, I think if you do throw one, it’s nice to consider and include out of town guests when possible. 

Post # 28
Member
1095 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

its definitely an American tradition as i’ve only seen it mentioned on the bee and in movies so we didnt have one. Plus after our rehearsal it was after work everyone had kids to rush home too or kids with them that were tired and cranky and people just wanted to get home. We went over the road to grab dinner but no one was interested in joining us anyway. We also had only local guests.

Post # 29
Member
141 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Absolutely not, even if you have a rehearsal, not necessary. Wedding parties dread the dinner afterwards anyway, and are usually looking forward to going home. You’ll also be happier to have that extra time to tie together any loose ends.

Post # 30
Member
720 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

We had a picnic gathering the night before to welcome our guests (30 total including us).  We bought cheese and crackers, beer and wine, and ordered 8 giant gourmet pizzas.  Total cost was approx $350 (so approx $12 per head).  There was heaps of food and drink and everyone had a merry time and could stay as long or short a time as they liked.

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