(Closed) Peeclampsia – so sad

posted 7 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
6351 posts
Bee Keeper

Oh my gosh. I am so sorry that your friend has to go through this. The loss of a child must be unbearable.

I would send a card. Also, maybe make a donation to the March of Dimes in the couple’s name.

Post # 4
Member
7293 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Oh goodness! I’m so sorry!

What a great friend for making the choice  to visit.

Do you know how big her web of support is where she is living now?

Its super difficult because you don’t know whether shes at a stage where she wants to be alone but at the same time I don’t think it would hurt to go. You guys are best friends. I’d say get in touch with her about your desire and go from their!

Post # 5
Member
9483 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

I am so sorry to hear about your friend’s loss.  How absolutely terrible.  ๐Ÿ™ Her and her family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Post # 6
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

Maybe have some food sent to her so she doesn’t have to cook when she gets home? Ask her if she wants you to come, and if she does, make the trip. 

My heart goes out to her

Post # 10
Member
1325 posts
Bumble bee

OMG! That is so horrible. Even early miscarriages are heartbreaking, but this?  ๐Ÿ™

It’s hard to say. I would use your past experience as your guide. In the past what has she needed from you? Time alone or time with you. It really all depends on her. This is probably the hardest thing she’s had to go through. She may just want you there to hold her hand….literally.

If it was my friend, I would fly out there immediately and tell her I will do whatever she wants needs.

Post # 11
Member
286 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Breaks my heart ๐Ÿ™

Personally I would probably make a trip out there. Even if it was just to give her a hug, tell her you love her, and then leave. I cannot imagine what she must be going through but it must be horrible. I would think it would mean a lot to have a loving friends support.

Post # 12
Member
46370 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

By all means acknowledge the death of her baby. It is very hurtful to parents of babies who were miscarried, or stillborn, if people just pretend that nothing happened.

Send her a handwritten note, expressing your sympathy.  Maybe send a gift card for take home meals froma restaurant or catering service near where they live. Phone her at home a few days after she is home from the hopsital. If she cries , just be with her on the phone.

Tell her you would like to come out for a visit if that would be helpful to her, but tell her you will undertsand if she and her SO want to be alone. Ask if they have a particular charity to which they would like remembrances donated.

Just stay in touch and be her friend.

Post # 13
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

@SoontobeMrsA:Thanks ๐Ÿ™‚ I know when I’m going through grief, the last thing I can think about is eating. So this way, she wouldn’t have to make anything, and she wouldn’t have to think about eating. I found these sites http://www.sendameal.com/ and http://www.dinewise.com/. Hopefully it helps!

Post # 14
Member
2313 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Oh no. Losing the baby at full term is something literally every pregnant woman dreads. I feel so terrible for her.

I would leave her alone to grieve right now. She has to come to grips not only with the loss of her son, but with the loss of the role she was expecting to start fulfilling, which is mother. I think in a few weeks or months she’ll be ready for a visit and to try to have fun and get back to normal, but now she probably just wants to be alone. I would.

Post # 15
Member
1227 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

How awful for your friend. I agree with PPs. Let her know that you are there for her, and keep checking in with her. As far as her not wanting the reminder, I am sorry to say she’ll think about this pretty much every day for the rest of her life. I think it will actually hurt more if others act like it didn’t happen.

Post # 16
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

I think its even more gut wrenching when you want it as bad as she did. And to not really know what to do…sucks so much. Maybe you can call her mom, and find out what she thinks is best?

The topic ‘Peeclampsia – so sad’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors