(Closed) Peer Pressure

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 4
Member
635 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Yep. Had to come up with 6 bm because my Fiance couldnt eliminate any more from his list. I did it because this is one of the two things he has actually had an opinion on in the wedding. If you aren’t worried about the matching, then just tell your Fiance to stand up for you.

Post # 6
Member
1736 posts
Bumble bee

I just let my Fiance have an extra. I didn’t bother with the matchy-matchy either. I’d rather have girls I know, love and trust in my bridal party rather than take on a couple girls that will be nothing more than props in the photos!

Don’t let them pressure you in either direction. Do what feels right for you!

Post # 7
Member
11234 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Ugh, I’m right there with you, except from family rather than friends. Fiance has a million close friends and family members, and we agreed that 5 was a good number for each (which included FI’s younger half sister, who’s like a sister to me). Apparently, FI’s stepmom assumed that his younger half brother would ALSO be in the wedding and is now posting passive aggressive Facbook statuses about being “suckerpunched” and feeling “so hurt.” I’m more eye-rolling than anything, but I feel really bad about myself that I couldn’t even come up with five freaking bridesmaids, and now this, plus Fiance wants ANOTHER groomsman. 

Post # 9
Member
11234 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

@Mashiara:  I really hate ceremony readings, so no to that. I hate the idea of ushers (because, really, our guests are all adults are all frigging adults and should know how to seat themselves within three rows of seats), but I might just let it go and say that he and FI’s other cousin can be ushers so that I don’t have to deal with the drama. Stepmom kept leaving the room while we were over there last night trying to hide her TEARS (YES SHE WAS CRYING BECAUSE HER TEENAGE SON ISN’T GOING TO BE A FCKING GROOMSMAN IN HIS ADULT HALF BROTHER’S WEDDING), and I almost lost it. I don’t deal with drama, especially stupid drama. I also suggested to Fiance that, because he hasn’t asked the two local guys yet (three of his GMs are out of town, so he’s asked them already), would he be okay with subbing one of the guys for this other guy. We’ll see. I told him, very calmly, that THIS EXACTLY was the reason why I was very upfront with the number in each party from the very beginning, and why we agreed on 5 each. 

Post # 10
Member
433 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I was in this exact same position. I ended up adding more BMs (family members who I am not super close with but make appropriate BMs), because as a previous posted said, it was one of the only things Fiance had an opinion about in the whole wedding. BUT I am really happy now that I did it becuase I think it really has strengthened my relationship with these two girls and I think they felt really honored that I asked them.

A lot depends on your expectations of BMs– my expectations for these two I added  are literally that they buy a dress and show up, so it’s very easy for them to meet those expectations. If you are someone who wants anyone who is a Bridesmaid or Best Man to be a lot more involved, then it might be a bad idea to add people you aren’t as close with just to have the right # and could create unnecessary drama.

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