(Closed) Pending seperating of guests!?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1003 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Maybe send two seperate invitations if you know them both? Man, that is hard. I wouldn’t send one invitation to the both of them.

Or what you could do is put FI’s cousin and guest. And that way it doesn’t commit to the idea his partner is coming but still give them the chance to go.

Post # 4
1553 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Could your Fiance call his cousin and ask what the cousin would prefer?  Maybe let him know you are open to inviting them both, but want to make sure the cousin is comfortable?  The cousin may want to bring his partner or he may not..and it should be his choice. 

If the cousin is adamant he doesn’t want the partner to come, then just send the cousin an invite.  If he thinks he will, I’d send an invite to the cousin addressed to cousin and partner, but let the cousin know that if things don’t work out and he changes his mind, he is free to bring a different guest (if you and Fiance are OK with that).  

I’d not send the partner a separate invite, just because if things go bad and the cousin isn’t comfortable with that, you don’t want to have invited the partner independently (just in case).  Also, I’d not put cousin and guest, just because if things DO improve with the partner, the partner might have some hurt feelings that he wasn’t invited by name.  So I’d stick with Cousin and Partner….but verbally communicating to cousin that he is free to bring parnter (f things work out), come alone, or even bring someone else (if things don’t work out AND if you and Fiance are ok with that).

Post # 6
66 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’d call and ask their parents. Even though my family is huge, we’re still close enough to where we could ask that kind of question. You could always just send an invite with the cousin’s name and “guest”, but I’m not sure how they would take that either. Good luck!

Post # 7
780 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I agree with ccd0 – do you or your Fiance feel comfortable asking his parents?  That way, you have a clear answer without all of the awkward-ness…

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