(Closed) People adding +1's anyone else experiencing this?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
8487 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2014

@jo_5537:  I definitely think its rude. Especially the friend bringing someone. Who the eff does that?!

Post # 4
12248 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

We had two people I was TERRIFIED would bring a +1 they weren’t given. Luckily, neither of them tried it!

Sorry your guests suck, though!

Post # 5
242 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@jo_5537:  I feel like it is a standard mom job to fix that, depending on whose side the stranger is being added from. FI’s mom will be calling any of his single second cousins who try to add a random plus one. My mom will call any of our family friends who add their children. If it’s your own friend you can either call yourself or still have your mom call. Getting a phone call with an etiquette lesson from someone else’s mom is just what people like that need. 

Post # 6
9955 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Etiquette Snob here… lol

YES IT IS RUDE… An Invite is only meant for those it is addressed to (which is WHY traditional Outside & Inside Envelopes work best for Weddings)

Many Brides though opt to also do the __ Seats Are Reserved In Your Honour (and write in how many people are invited… corresponding to the names on the Envelope)


You need to call / talk to these people and explain the situation. 

“We are sorry, but we only have so much room at our Venue… and we have to keep numbers as tight as they are, so we cannnot add miscellaneous people beyond whom the Invites were addressed to.  We are sorry, but we understand therefore if you cannot make it”

And then confirm with them what their plans are… coming or not

Solo in the case of the Friend… As a Couple in case of the Cousin & Wife.

Rinse – Repeat as often as necessary.  Do not waiver

Sorry your Mother is wrong.

You let even ONE Person bring along a Plus One that you didn’t plan for, and with social media the word will spread like a wildfire… one will be 10, 20, 30 in no time.  Then what ?


Hope this helps,


Post # 7
9955 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

PS… For many Brides the whole RSVP Reply Cycle is honestly the WORST PART OF WEDDING PLANNING

And this is sad… cause once upon a time it was one of the best things ever

But Guests are just so unmannered / unknowledgeable these days in such matters… no manners / no etiquette experience now that it turns out they are just a RUDE bunch to deal with

Consequently DRAMA & TRAUMA enmasse


GOOD NEWS… it’ll be over soon… as this is the end of the whole process.  You’ll be married in no time.


Post # 8
91 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@jo_5537:  Definitely rude. The FMIL’s cousin inviting their adult son on their own accord is especially rude! 

Did your invite wording indicate your parents as hosting the wedding for you and your husband to be? 

We have a wedding website for our guests to RSVP and I have set it up so no ‘extras’ can be added.

Post # 10
2278 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I’d definitely say it’s rude. I’m sorry your guests are doing this!

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