(Closed) People adding in special dietary requests on RSVP cards?

posted 8 years ago in Food
Post # 3
Member
1854 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Well… As someone who is tested negative for Celiac; but is intelorant to gluten, I can understand…
It gives me migraines automatically, migraines that won’t go away for hours/days and they make my stomach ache. Not fun at all. If someone told me that I can’t be accomodated, I would either bring something to eat, not eat, or not come.
If you know that she has reactions to it and she specified it on her card; if you don’t want to ask your caterer for a gluten free option, at least call her to explain so she can decide her course of action.

Post # 4
Member
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Huh. Maybe for the gluten/dairy person you could suggest she picks the veg option (if you have one) rather than the beef? It could be that her intolerance has gotten worse, and I can certainly sympathize that if her intolerance made her uncomfortable or sick she wouldn’t want to put herself in that situation at your wedding, I’m sure she wants to enjoy the evening.

We have a few guests with allergies and intolerances and I am definitely going to make our caterer aware of this. We’re also putting out some lactose pills with the cheese buffet, which is a little bit of a joke since Fiance is lactose intolerant but LOVES cheese, but it still serves a purpose since it’s not so uncommon these days!

While you can’t make a different meal for every guest with allergies or intolerances, I think it’s polite to accomodate them as best you can. If they have a severe allergy to something, they may not be able to touch anything on their plate if their trigger is on there as well.  You’d want the same consideration for yourself. It’s easy enough for the caterer to leave an item off a plate.

Post # 5
Member
456 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Honestly, as someone who has a food restriction (celiac) and has trouble eating out, i have never really had a problem at a wedding.  I just alert the caterer as soon as i get there and every caterer i’ve encountered has been great about addressing my needs. So unless you are getting married somewhere where you think special requests will be difficult or impossible to address, i would just leave it in their hands to make sure their needs are met.  With 4 choices, it shouldn’t be an issue.  I would mention it generally to the caterer, though.

Post # 6
Member
965 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I would talk to tyhe caterer and be as accommodating as possible. These are your guests, and you would do the same for a guest in your home. If it is not easily done, then I would call and tell the people that you are sorry, but they can’t be accomodated.

For example, I’m having a buffet and one guest is vegan. My caterer is not willing to provide a vegan meal at no additional cost, so she will be eating salad. I feel bad about it, but I tried and she knows that.

Post # 7
Member
4466 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

This is not all that surprising to me.  I had a friend call me when she got the invite and asked if I could find out if any of the dishes were made with wine as she is highly allergic.  I called the clubhouse manager and he said any of the dishes can be specially made without wine.  Additionally, I assume that they could accomodate most (if not all) special requests.

I don’t see this as a problem.  Just call your venue or caterer.

Post # 8
Member
23 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Definitely talk with your caterer. Many caterers now offer gluten and dairy free options. If they don’t, then tell her that her request cannot be accommodated. Better that she know ahead of time than get there and have nothing to eat. She can either bring something, or eat before hand knowing that she may only be able to eat a few things on the menu.

Post # 9
Member
64 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I think part of the problem here is not what the guests are asking of you, but the way in which it’s done.  Bold and highlighted seems a little rude to me, and I think you certainly have a right to feel miffed about it.  Like has been suggested, you may want to talk to the caterer about it – but I’d probably also casually mention it to said guest that there’s no need to be rude about it (or have Fiance do that, since it’s on his side).  Good luck!

Post # 10
Member
1927 posts
Buzzing bee

I do think you should check with your caterer to see if there is an easy way to accomodate her.  But I do want to point out that you shouldn’t feel bad about being a little taken aback by the way she responded.  There was no reason for her to be demanding.. she could have made a polite phone call to make this request or spoken to the caterer herself as @esgbee suggested.

Post # 11
Member
4385 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I agree with annoid – the problem is more how the request is being made. If I had food restrictions I would definitely call up the bride and be polite about it. Writing it in bold on the RSVP card is very rude in my opinion!

Post # 13
Member
2066 posts
Buzzing bee

The way our cateerer works is guests will be serverd one of the two options provided on the RSVP card, or they get a vegetarian meal.  They will not modify each plate to accomidate each guest.  Make sense?

Talk to your cateerer and see what they suggest. 

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