(Closed) People always talk about emotional connection….what is it and how does it…

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1333 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I think that when two people decide to enter into a relationship, the ‘spark’/lust/what have you is the main connection.  This can occur between two strangers whom meet, or two people whom have been lifelong friends, and BAM, a chemistry is present, and a relationship then progresses.

For me, that ‘inititial’ spark is full of excitement and ‘newness’, and will eventually subside to some degree.  And so, YES, an emotional connection is absolutely IMPORTANT and much needed for a long-lasting relationship.  For me, it is less about living in la-la land, and more about loving that person for whom they are; the good and the bad, entrusting them, having them be or become your ‘best’ friend.  They understand you, your moods, your need and wants more than anyone else, etc.

It develops thru conversation, spending time together, intimacy, compassion and trust.  I truly believe that as time goes on, and people age or things change, or things get ‘hard’ (and maybe they will not), the ‘things’ that attracted you to the person inititally may also change, or fade away, but it is that emotional connection that will forever be present.

Post # 4
Member
1685 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I have an emotional connection with my fiance in that whenever one of us needs support, touching the other one is all we need to anchor us. 

I can also usually get a good feel for what he is thinking and feeling through touch.  Not in a “psychic way,” but in just knewing him so well that little clues in his body language indicate to me what is going on in his mind.  What’s weird is that it’s very touch driven, I usually have to be in contact with him order to get the read.  But, I assume that’s due to what I mentioned in the first paragraph.

Post # 5
Member
5215 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2010

Well, an emotional connection is certainly critical for me in a relationship. Without it, why not just be roommates or gym buddies? My emotional bond and connection with my husband is the absolute best thing about our life together.  

An emotional connection comes with personal self-awareness, emotional maturity, honesty, healthy and ongoing communication, and a commitment to be authentic with each other. It means being there for each other, it means having mutual trust, mutual respect, mutual love, mutual commitment. It requires a mutual interest in remaining connected to each other, in always remaining curious about each other and taking the time to listen. It involves wanting to really know each other, and to let ourselves be known. 

I also do not think it is something that is going to naturally occur with anyone, even if you are attracted to them physically and so forth, or even if they are “perfect on paper”. 

 

Post # 6
Member
491 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

The emotional connection is essential in a relationship, especially in a marriage. 

I hate to sounds cliche, but I can honestly say the second I saw my Fiance I knew there was something special about him and I was going to fall in love with him. It literally hit me like a bolt of lightining and I knew I had to meet him.  He has this amazing smile that just drew me to him.  When we fell in love, we fell hard. The “I love yous” started after 3 weeks of meeting one another.  We have been together for 8 years and I feel like we ourselves and our relationship has grown so much.

At one point in every relationship, that honeymoon phase will fade out and what happens is that you two grow together on another level. We share a lot of the same values, interests, and have the upmost respect for one another.  We are each others best friends, can tell each other anything that is on our minds..even if its something we think no one would understand. You love them for all of their good qualities and in spite of their not so good qualities, its seeing someone who is imperfect perfectly for you.  It’s something that really can’t be explained until you experience it, but when you do, you know it, and you better hold onto it

Post # 7
Member
333 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Good answers ladies.

I think for me, emotional connection was a sense of comfortable rather than spark. The attractiveness drew me in when I first met SO (and he is easily the most attractive guy I’ve been with), but it was more the feeling of comfort he brought. The way we could talk, the way we would engage. The trust that he wouldn’t do anything to hurt me. That trust that he was being honest, and that we were able to talk, spend time, and feel totally compatible without trying too hard. And we admitted later that we weren’t trying at all – we were tired of games, so we were just being ourselves.

Emotional connection to me is when you can both be yourself with one another, trust each other, and feel comfortable with them. I feel more comfortable with SO than with anyone else – he is truly a best friend.

Post # 8
Member
1541 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Emotional connection is super important.

With my SO it just happened naturally. We would go out and end up in my car sitting and talking for hours and hours. I’ve told him things I would never tell anyone else, and he is alway supportive. I’m super comfortable with him. I don’t think you can really make it happen- it just does!

Post # 9
Member
539 posts
Busy bee

@SoonToBeMrsD921:  “I hate to sounds cliche, but I can honestly say the second I saw my Fiance I knew there was something special about him and I was going to fall in love with him. It literally hit me like a bolt of lightining and I knew I had to meet him.  He has this amazing smile that just drew me to him.”

OMG, I experienced something similar when I met my now boyfriend. There was something that hit me like a bolt of electricity shooting through my body and I just knew that there was something special about him.

I had promised myself a couple of weeks before that that I was going to stay away from guys and focus on what I had to do for my studies, but I couldn’t stay away from that one. 😉

Post # 10
Member
539 posts
Busy bee

I think emotional connection is something that is critical in any close relationship. As PP’s have mentioned, it happens over time, and it’s a very strong glue that binds people together in long-term relationships. It develops as you get to know someone, through being yourself around someone, trusting the other person, communicating, talking, doing things together, mutual support, the development of physical intimacy (if you so choose, but you do not necessarily need physical intimacy to have an emotional connection with someone–you can have an emotional connection in a friendship also), etc. I guess I would maybe say that emotional connection is the degree of closeness you feel with someone–eg being able to tell that person all your thoughts and feelings on almost any subject matter, being comfortable sitting closely with someone in silence, knowing/trusting that someone will still love you even if they find out your deepest and darkest secret, etc. I think the cornerstone of emotional connection is trust.

I guess for me, the best way I can describe it is that it’s the knowledge that I am safe with him physically, emotionally, spiritually, etc–no matter what. He is my home and his presence (and especially physical touch) anchors me in ways I have not experienced prior to this relationship. We talk, we enjoy each other’s presence, and we trust one another. We are honest. We feel close.

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