(Closed) People are confused by my RSVP card?

posted 8 years ago in Paper
  • poll: Are you confused by my RSVP?

    No, I'm not an idiot.

    Yes... what?

  • Post # 32
    Member
    5360 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2015

    @Audrey2:  I think the prompt for the honorific (M…..) is so the couple knows the gender (and maybe marital status) of the person coming. Marital status probably doesn’t matter that much anymore but with more and more gender neutral names, a Miss might help if, say, they are giving different favors to each gender or something. It would also be helpful for men and boys with the same name (Mr. John Blake vs. Mstr. John Blake) but most people who would be confused by the M_____ would probably never use Master anyway.

    Long story short: it’s the way RSVPs have been done for a long time but now a lot of the reasons have fallen by the wayside. 

    Post # 33
    Member
    1887 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    @MexiPino:  thanks for explaining that to me. I can’t help thinking though that if you know me well enough to invite me to your wedding, you should know my gender and marital status lol :p but I  take your point!

    Post # 34
    Member
    5360 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2015

    @Audrey2:  lol, yeah. That’s why I say most of the reasons aren’t important anymore. But I know there ae some bees who had one of those weddings where it’s mostly their parents’ friends, so I guess some people still actually need it. Me- I will just fill in everyone’s names myself with a check mark yes or no by each. 

    Post # 35
    Member
    540 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @abbie017:  +100!! Ahhh common sense…where have you gone?!

    Post # 36
    Member
    444 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    No matter what you put, someone will be confused or annoyed by it. If 95% of people are fine with it and only 5% are having problems, then it’s all good. I agree that the M can be confusing for people, and frankly it’s pretty antiquated. We did that and some people used it, some people were confused by it, and most people ignored it and just put their names.  Most people RSVP’d properly, but a lot didn’t. I dont’ think there’s anything we could have done to fix it. Let them complain; just make sure you know who’s coming.

    Post # 37
    Member
    25 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    Those are super cute! I’m guessing the people who are confused, have never been invited to a wedding before, or are the rude deusche canoes who don’t understand everyone and their brother isn’t invited.

    The first time I recieved an invite to a wedding, I admit, I looked up the M thing. I was like whaaaat? haha. problem solved in 1 minute of googling.

    Others, I’ve noticed that people expect they themselves get an invite, their gf or bf of two weeks are included, and their gf/bf children and their bf/gf and blah blah blah etc. They see the 2 seats reserved in your honor, but can’t process why it’s just them and ONE guest invited.

    Good Luck! Just make your intentions clear during the phone call to clarify, if one is needed. 🙂

    Post # 38
    Member
    618 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    They seem really straightforward to me.  I can see people not understanding the M, but common sense and CONTEXT CLUES would tell you to write your name there.  Then again, I have the words “Please initial next to entree choice” on mine, and I cannot begin to tell you how many cards I’m getting back with 2 people coming, and a 1 next to beef or fish, and a 1 next to vegetarian. Um…that’s a number, NOT initials.  

    Post # 39
    Member
    2191 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    @Pinkmoon:  I don’t get where they are confused. It seems pretty straight-forward to me. Have they never been to weddings before?

    Post # 40
    Member
    168 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    I think they look really cute! I’ve been to one wedding in my life and when I saw the M____ thing I was a little confused as well and just looked it up using google (which is what people of my generation do anyways when they have questions). Though I find it odd to have a space that says “we have _ seats reserved for you” and then when they say they can go they enter the number of seats they need. Why would they have to tell you twice?

    Other than that not EVERYONE has been to a wedding or even THINKS about them really which is the only time I’ve seen RSVP cards so far. Let us all be humble and patient with those that didn’t or don’t have the same fortunate up bringing as the rest of us. 🙂 Of course…why didn’t they just google it lol

    Post # 41
    Member
    867 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    The # of seats reserved in your honor thing is to try to prevent the uninvited +1 situation (or uninvited child situation). The invited parties don’t have to use all the seats reserved in their honor, but they can’t bring more. 

    Example: Mr. and Mrs. Smith and their 16 year old daughter are all invited. The RSVP might say 3 seats are reserved in their honor to make it clear that the daughter’s sketchy boyfriend isn’t invited. If the daughter can’t stand to be separated from her boyfriend for an evening, then she doesn’t have to come and they would write that 2 are attending.

    Post # 42
    Member
    482 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    @prahajess:  lol +100000 ding dongs, gonna say that from now on

    Post # 43
    Member
    2389 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

    @elliptical2013:  It’s totally fun. Even better than Jackass, which is very fun too. but not really applicable.

    Post # 44
    Member
    1701 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    @thenewmrsmax:  wowwww calling people “ignorant” for something so small seems a bit harsh.

     

    op- I think they are lovely 🙂 I’ve seen several RSVP cards just like this. 

    Post # 45
    Member
    714 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    @Laurenskii:  

    Definition of ignorant (adj)

    Bing Dictionary

    • ig·no·rant
    • [ ígnərənt ]
    •  

    1. lacking knowledge: lacking knowledge or education in general or in a specific subject
    2. unaware: unaware of something
    3. resulting from lack of knowledge: caused by a lack of knowledge, understanding, or experience

    They don’t know about RSVPs, a specific subject, which makes them ignorant.

    Post # 46
    Member
    13783 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    The M with a line thing, along with check off the box, is a relatively recent thing, a crutch  born out of the sheer frustration of hosts who couldn’t get people to RSVP to an invitation.  Traditionally, that was and is done by responding in long hand in the same language as the invitation.  That would mean if an invitation was addressed to Mr. and Mrs. John Doe, the reply would respond along those same line, ie.  Mr. and Mrs. John Doe accept with pleasure, etc. etc. 

    When I was married, I really didn’t want to include them at all,  but in deference to reality,  I compromised by sending a blank card with “favour of a reply by and the date” engraved on a single line at the top.  People figured out how to use them, some by way of formal reply and some who wrote lovely informal notes.

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