Post # 1
I’m not asking for advice, this is simply a rant.
I work at a resort where I see 3,000+ people a day. I know a good majority of these people because I’ve worked here for 12 years, and even before then, I would visit my mother when she worked here [I took over her position]. I’m am not close to any of these people.
It’s no secret that I’m getting married this year – not that I’ve told anyone but coworkers – but they seem to be spreading the news on my behalf. Under normal circumstances, I wouldn’t mind, but it’s really beginning to bug me. I’ve had 5 people this week come up to congratulate me, and then promptly ask when they will be given their invite.
We are inviting ONLY close family and friends, which comes to 114. About half of those are SO’s family, which we do not expect to come [being 2000+ miles away]. We have purchased enough linens, plates, ect to seat 100 but we really only expect 50 or 60 to show. Either way, we don’t want a HUGE wedding, nor could we afford one.
Having people ask for invites makes me feel really awkward. And it strikes me as totally rude. I know that all I need to say is something like, “Due to space and budget constraints we will be unable to invite you”, or something. But I kind of feel like saying, “REALLY?! I only talk to you because it’s part of my job.”.
Tell me stories of people who have tried to invite themselves to YOUR wedding!
Post # 2
Ugh, some people just don’t have any tact do they?
Post # 3
Don’t be mad at me, but it sounds like your ‘customers’ just love you and want to wish you well. Maybe thinking about it that way will stress you less and you can just tell them, small wedding but thanks for thinking of me!
Post # 4
tell them what you just typed. its an intimate wedding for close friends and family.
Post # 5
Kitty79: I know that, and I know they just want to seem interested. I’m just not the type of person that likes to turn people down, but I also don’t want to have a 300+ person wedding either. So it puts me in a really awkward place.
Post # 6
jenilynevette: It only puts you in an awkward place if you let it. You have done nothing wrong. The people actually in the awkward place are those who are so lacking in manners as to ask for an invitation.
“I’m sorry. We are only able to invite family and close friends to the wedding.” (Leaving unstated- AND YOU ARE NEITHER!)
Post # 7
Just tell them that while you’d like to invite everyone, due to budget and venue size constraints, you’re having to kep the guest list small and intimate with only close friends and family. They’ll understand. Or they won’t and you won’t ever have to worry about talking to them again.
Post # 8
i have a venue i rent for weddings, so it was no surprise i was going to get married there. The da. Of my civil weeeing we only invite like 40 people ( parents, brothers, and some friends) the wedding was al 7 p.m. And someone called me like at 4 p.m. Asking me at what time was the wedding so he could be on time, but this person wasnt invited!!!! And i was like… Ammm… Emmm… I couldnt even talk!!! I had to tell him, im very sorry but we are having a very intimate ceremony with our parents only. It made me feel so bad!!! But it wasnt my fault, i just cant understand how people do that!!!!
Post # 9
My venue only allows 8 guests. Almost everyone has understood that we will only be inviting our parents and my adult children. ALMOST except for one aunt who keeps asking when she will get her invite with the attendance cards in it that my fiance’s mother got. We have explained it to her several times, his mother has called about how to get her sisters on the guest list and we have basically told her it can’t happen. She mentioned “well it isn’t as if you’ll turn them away if they show up” with a giggle. We are getting married on a cruise ship, so we explained to her that we won’t have to turn them away because that’ is what homeland security is for.
Post # 10
jenilynevette: tell them (in a joking manner of course) that they will get their invitations when you win the lottery and can afford to invite every you know.
Post # 11
“We’re keeping it small – just family and wedding party.”
That’s what I told a girl who thinks we’re best friends (barely spoken to her in the last 10 years). She has a lot of trouble getting hints so first she said, “Well who’s in the wedding party?”…expecting me to say “YOU OF COURSE!” I said just my sisters and college roommates. It definitely isn’t comfortable to have the “you aren’t invited” talk but people who truly know they’ll be invited aren’t the ones who make those comments.
Post # 12
I had an old neighbor inquire about his invite. He was really close to my brother and our families even hung out on holidays. So I told him “awe, thank you for being so excited I am getting married, but we are not able to celebrate with everyone we know. Weddings are so darn expensive.”
Post # 13
Ugh, I had people ask us for invites too. I know they don’t mean anything by it, but still struck me as being pretty darn bold.