Post # 17
If you haven’t spoken to her in seven yrs then that means you haven’t seen her in seven yrs. Don’t sweat it. I’m with suzanno on this one AND the rest of the ladies on here Don’t worry we all go through it. My FI’s sister went as far as to tell me she’ll pay for her friends’ meals (not including her friends’ boyfriends) if I could just invite them. I told his sister that money’s tight and we’re done with our guest list. "Well, they’re both expecting an invite and they’ve also known Mr. NorCal as long as they’ve known me." WTF?!?!?! It’s so frustrating. I’ve known my neighbors for over 15 yrs but guess what? Even they didn’t make the cut! I just wanted to scream "I don’t give a crap about them so they’re not invited." How does someone grow the balls to ask that from me. I see these girls and their bfs once a year maybe and usually say Hi and that’s pretty much it. I just don’t get it.
Post # 18
People just want to come to a free party man.
My in laws bosses thought they were invited… and I was like UMMM WTF? You’re not paying for a f’in thing! NOTHING. I am NOT giving any MORE spaces for your people that WE don’t know. (they had two tables- yes twenty extra mouths to feed) AINT HAPPENING.
People will do this up until the day of your wedding. Just tell them you are trying to keep it close family and friends only, and unfortunately, DUE TO SPACE/LOCATION restraints, we cannot accommodate any more people- it would be against the fire code & they could close down our event… then follow it up with a catty "I know you wouldn’t want that to happen now, would you?!?"
We purposely chose a small location due to the fact I knew I would want to invite everyone we’ve ever met. And the above response was pretty much what I used when people asked for their invites.
Post # 19
if i had a dollar everytime this question was posed!! this probably wont be the 1st person who "fishes" for an invite…
you are by no means obligated to invite anyone to your wedding – especially someone you havent hung out with or whatever for 7 years???
get ready for the wave of people "fishing" for invites – dont go back on the rules your fh and you have set (2 years) — if that works for you guys, then roll with it…
alot of people have some nerve tho, dont they??
good luck and hang in there!!
Post # 20
thanks for all the advice! i think i handled it nicely. i basically said, unfortunately with such big families on both sides we’re having to exclude a lot of family, not to mention friends. we wish we could invite everyone but it’s just impossible. then i coyly said, "wow, i haven’t heard from you in forever! how have you been?"
having somone offer to pay for the guest they want to invite is so obnoxious. it isn’t the one guest that will break the bank, but the 10 others you’ll have to invite if you invite that one guest! then it becomes a battle of wills! the more you ask me, the less likely i am to give in!
Post # 21
I haven’t had any one request an invite for themselves. I have, however, had people requesting invites for others. Just last night, I went to dinner with 2 former co-workers. Co-worker #1 I talk to regularly, co-worker #2 I’ve barely spoken to since I left the job 3 years ago. After leaving the restaurant, #1 walked #2 to her car then came running to my car to let me know that #2 was "really hurt and doesn’t understand why she wasn’t invited to the wedding". (Maybe because she’s made no attempt to keep in touch for the last 3 years?) Then #1 told me that she thought I should still invite #2. The wedding is in two weeks and I’m not changing the cutoff line that Fiance & I drew long ago so I don’t think so. But I do feel bad about it.
Post # 22
Majestic: That was totally perfect what you said at the end
"wow, i haven’t heard from you in forever! how have you been?"
Maybe that’ll clue her in that you haven’t been in touch in a loooooooooooong time.
As for my issue:
Future Sister-In-Law is in her early twenties, doesn’t help out at all at home. It would totally be a slap in the face for her mom if she dropped a couple hundred dollars to invite her 2 friends and dates to "party" but complains when her mother ask to borrow 5 bucks! So far I haven’t heard anything about this but then again I haven’t seen her since. I’m hoping to Fiance that it’s one of those "Out of site out of mind" moments so we wouldn’t have to add them on our guest list. Lol I don’t think it’s fair for me to cut off some people I’ve known "forever" and then turn around and add on other people that Fiance and I truely do not care about. Kind of mean to say but that’s the truth.