Post # 17
million hit the nail on the head 🙂
You need to approach him, unfortunately, but you do NOT need to invite him. Just explain that it was a misunderstanding, and that the wedding is being kept very small, and express your apologies for not being able to invite him.
Post # 18
I really appreciate all this feedback & advice!
1. i do NOT want to invite him
2. im very unconfrontational but i know i def need to fix this weird thing
3. WTF?! people who give invitations to other people.
But honestly, this advice was much needed!
Post # 19
If I was in your position I would either:
1. Write a very nice hand written note to Mr. Boss and simply write “Dear Boss, Mr. Studentbride and I’s wedding is a very small, intimate ceremony and we invited only our family and a few friends. I wish I could have had more space to invite you and other managers but it just wasn’t possible with our venue and budget.
2. Ignore the situation completely unless Mr. Boss asks you directly, which in turn I would say the same thing I wrote above for the note.
I don’t think anyone should be speaking for you, Mr.Studentbride or your wedding! I would tell the boss you did invite that because of your budget you couldn’t invite Mr. Boss and now he has put you in a very awkward position since you will not be inviting Mr. Boss or anyother managers.
In these economic times I would think everyone would understand the budget excuse.
Post # 20
I know exactly how you feel! I work with a lot of people and I did invite 2 managers because I felt like I had to but I knew they wouldnt come. Other than that I invited a total of 6 people from work out of about 50 people. My boss above my boss was very insulted that I (and my friend for her wedding) did not invite her. Her reasoning? “Im her boss!” Technically yes, but she is my boss’s boss and I dont like her. Why do I want to invite someone to my wedding that I dont like? You would think she would get the hint as to why she was not invited but no, she brought it up to my boss on several occasions. She even asked my boss why another boss was invited and not her. My boss told her because I work with him directly and had to invite him. Her response is “I see her every Tuesday”. Yes, once a week at best (if she shows up to meetings).
Long story short, dont feel like you need to invite him. I think Soon2beeMrsM had a great idea that you should explain the situation to your boss that you are having a small and intimate wedding and could only invite a certain number of people and you invited those that you were closest with. It was not your co-workers position at all to assume otherwise.
Post # 21
Or…..you could tell Mr Manager, no, he would have had an invite if he was invited by now, the information you gave him was incorrect and YOU can correct your mistake 😀
Though I know deep down what the other bees are saying is better….but HOW RUDE!!!!
Post # 22
That’s a really frustrating situation. I only invited two people from my work to the wedding, and before I sent them their invitaiton, I asked if they could keep it quiet that they were invited because others weren’t. That seemed to keep everything calm at the office!
(Although I moved after the wedding and swtiched jobs, so I wasn’t too worried about the backlash from not inviting people)
Post # 23
to your immediate boss: “i am sorry Mr. Boss, but we have a limited amount of invites due to space and to budget. We are already maxed out on who we can invite, and inviting additional people is simply not possible.”
or you could just have ignored him anyway – or do what i would have done if it was me “well lets put it this way Mr. boss, each person i invite costs $X. i dont make enough money to invite the entire world to my wedding. so unless i get a raise, or win the lottery, the guest list is my business.”
but im kinda b*tchy that way LOL
Post # 24
Woooooooooooow. That’s beyond words. However, the whole problem to begin with is that he had his invitation out in the open on his desk. If that hadn’t been there, the whole conversation wouldn’t have taken place! Discretion is apparently not in his vocabulary.
Post # 25
EEEK! What a pain in the beeeehind. The guest list is totally your business, and I definitely would not let someone just “come” to my wedding because they wanted to. That’s some bull. 😐
I don’t even want to think about it when it comes to my wedding. Everyone and their dog’s sister knows about my engagement thanks to facebook and my blabby family & friends. I’m getting “please invite me-s” in my inbox and “i better be in your wedding” from people I barely know, much less “like.” (And “IN” my wedding? YEAH RIGHT.) We haven’t even set a DATE.
*Sigh* I’m sorry for your situation, but I’d definitely definitely definitely tell him you’re very sorry but the guest list is finalized…..let him know, if there are any favors left over or empty bottles of wine he’d like as a souvenir, you’d be happy to let him have one! 😉
Post # 26
So sorry you’re going through this, but I would talk to those who really are invited and tell them to please not discuss the wedding or any plans on attending the wedding in front of others. I would also clear things up with the boss and say it is a very intimate gathering. People should understand, and if he doesn’t that’s just another reason to look for another job maybe a bit earlier than you had mentioned.
Post # 27
That is so annoying. Your wedding, your guest list.
Post # 28
I wouldn’t worry about it! It’s your wedding and who you want to invite is your decision!