(Closed) People asking if they are invited…??

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
405 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I would just be straight up with them and kindly tell them no when asked. I know alot of people and i get along with alot of people but to save myself the hassle i deactivated my FB until after the wedding. I figured I would be going through what you are, and my Fiance so he deactivated his now lol

Post # 4
839 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I think most people run into this problem one way or another. I have had a problem with people saying “oh I better be invited to the wedding!” And I’m not even engaged yet! 


Yes, it is incredibly rude of them to ask.


You can always say no. You might feel rude about it, but remember, it was rude of them to ask, not rude of you to tell them no. If you can’t bring yourself to do it, I would just say that you haven’t finalized the guest list yet. It’s a good way to put them off without having to say “no, fuck off”

Post # 5
513 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@Kandiss16:  I’m glad you started this post! Luckily, we haven’t run across anyone recently who has asked that question, but I have been wondering about how others have reacted to it, and what we should do if asked.

Post # 7
405 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

View original reply
@LilliePad:  LOVE IT! (I would just say that you haven’t finalized the guest list yet. It’s a good way  to put them off without having to say “no, fuck off”)

Post # 9
2655 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

It’s so awkward when ppl do this and there is no way you were going to invite them! Happened to us a few times. I was told by other bees to just say you had a strict number of guests and that you were trying to keep it to a certain number so couldn’t invite everyone. IE, keeping it small, family and close friends only.

Post # 10
1832 posts
Buzzing bee

“We would love to invite everyone but we have to keep the guest list to family and close friends of the family.  Have you tried the new Flatbreads at Wendy’s?  They are awesome”

and continue to divert.  You have answered the question so don’t let it keep going.  Keep diverting 

Post # 11
34 posts
  • Wedding: August 2013

I totally empathize.  I’ve run into this situation a few times and it feels so uncomfortable.  

I always just change the subject!

Post # 12
1721 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I hated this question. I’m not going to lie, I ignored a few FB measages. For the in persons and texts, I politely said “I’m sorry, but our venue only holds x amount and therefore we are limiting to close friends and family.”

Post # 13
652 posts
Busy bee

@Kandiss16:  tell them you guys are having a really small wedding but dont tell them about the head count. Mine usually stops and says, oh I understand weddings are expensive. 

Post # 14
293 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I haven’t come across this situation really just once with the pastors wife of my family church that I don’t go to!

She literally just facebooked me out of nowhere and asked when my wedding was and I told her the date and she was like “good we have enough time to save”….and in my head I’m like “you may not be invited” but I didn’t say anything and when I saw her in person a few weeks ago I just laughed it off. They may be invited right now they are B listed.

But also I don’t really discuss my wedding with those who I know aren’t being invited. When they ask me about it I just simply go “planning is okay” and then that’s it. I don’t go into any detail what so ever. I also don’t talk about my wedding on facebook because then yeah people would probably expect to get some kind of invite.

I’ve been keeping my wedding planning as of right now kind of personal and private. Luckily I have you bees to talk to or otherwise I go crazy LOL

Post # 15
1176 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

That’s why I haven’t posted a single thing about the wedding on FB… it’s a Pandora’s box.

Post # 16
11517 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

I’m a facebook junkie but I’m avoiding posting anything (other than the engagement) on facebook.  We’re having about 100 people, more than half of that is family.  I’m probably going ot end up having to cut people too, my half of the list is a whole lot longer than my FH’s.  I’ve had one or 2 people ask but they were more kidding and they were givens (we’ve been friends since we were 6…that’s 24 years).  I have one friend who’s been asking an awful lot of wedding questions that i’ve been dodging because she’s probably not going to make the final guest list.  


I know a few people who’ve basically invited themselves to friends weddings, it is incredibly rude and tacky for people to do that.

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