(Closed) People asking "when are you having kids?" BEFORE you're married

posted 6 years ago in 20 Something
Post # 3
Member
6512 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m in my late 20’s (27, will be 28 in a couple of weeks), so I think the questions aren’t motivated by us being “young,” but they are nonetheless REALLY annoying!  There is no reason for us to have kids immediately!  Chill the eff out, everyone!

Post # 4
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Yes they are beyond annoying I’m in my late 20s also and i don’t why people think they can ask personal questions like that. I made it clear that i know all the info and I have zero interest in having kids now. We cross the bridge when we come to it.

I’m happy no one thining it’s a shot gun wedding! Geez annoying!

Post # 5
Member
177 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I get it but for the opposite reason. I’ll be 42 on my wedding day and I constantly hear “the clock is ticking”. Then when I say we’re not planning on having kids I get the OMG Really? Is it that horrible for a couple to decide children are not for them? It’s amazing how people feel they have the right to ask and say these things at any age.   

Post # 6
Member
1426 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I got asked this before I even began dating Fiance. I’m the last cousin on both sides of the family, out of 25 cousins, to have children, much less get married. My reproductive system has been a topic of conversation since I was 16. Every birthday, one of my Uncles tells me I’m drying up a bit more. Needless to say, dating and now being engaged has only fueled the fire even more.

Post # 7
Member
768 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’m 27 and I get this all the time (and have been for probably 2 years). In my case i think its because we have been together 7 years and maybe people think thats what next?

Post # 8
Member
731 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I have been getting asked this too. Apparently since we bought a home in “suburbia” I should be popping out kids any day now….

Post # 9
Member
4606 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I get it too, but I usually ignore it, tell them I’m not interested in having kids or that my dog is enough for me or I just say that it’s no one else’s business but mine and FH’s.

But then again I’m past the point of being super nice about it since people have been harrassing me about it for months now.

Post # 10
Member
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

If your wedding is really Nov 2013 like it says, how do people think it’s a shot gun wedding?! It’s over a year away – basic math people!!

Post # 11
Member
519 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Ugh, I get it all the time. We had some people ask before we were married. We’d get a few comments about how other family members started having kids at a younger age. I explained that we didn’t plan on having kids for at least another 4 years, to which they all tell me that things happen and I better not count on that. (Of course, this is true)

 

Now that we are married, we’re constantly being asked. It’s annoying. I’m only 22 and plan on trying to have a baby when I’m around 26. Everyone in my family is just used to people getting pregnant at 18-22ish.

Post # 12
Member
1994 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I get this often from my family. It’s not really annoying because it’s expected. They’ve always been a kind of “up close & personal, all in your business” type of family. They already have a name picked out for one of our future children and we aren’t even engaged yet. Oh and I don’t think my age has much to do with it. I’ll be 24 this summer.

Post # 13
Member
3471 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

My aunt gave up on asking when we were getting married a few years ago– for the past 3 years, all she wants to know is when she gets another baby to hold! 🙂

I am relatively young (23) and it was important to me that our engagement be longer than a year because I wanted to squash any snide comments about our motives to getting married.

I heard a lot of them at my sister’s wedding and in the pre-stages; everyone assumed my sister was preggo becuase she started dating her husband in 11/07, they got engaged, 3/08, and were married in 9/08. They certainly didn’t waste any time– My nephew was born 10/09, but the reason they were rushing it was because they waited until after marriage to have sex. 

I woulnd’t worry about it– it’s the natural question people like to ask, and I’ve learned to just ignore it. 

 

Post # 14
Member
1438 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I’m 20, I get asked all the time when i’m having kids, and they people think im pregnent because we are eloping before our wedding.

Post # 15
Member
301 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

We’ve been asked a lot too. Not even asked, actually, but given unsolicited advice haha. My FI’s uncle – who is also the pastor marrying us – has advised us a number of times to have kids sooner rather than later. He waited a long time to have kids and is now getting older and kind of sick and can’t play with his kids like he’d like to. Many of his other aunts or cousins tell us to just enjoy being married for awhile and wait to have kids. We always just smile and nod 🙂

Post # 16
Member
95 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Oh, big time!

In fact, I was talking to my grandmother yesterday and she asked when she would be getting her first great-grandchild. I laughed and told her we weren’t even getting married until the Spring and she told me that Fiance and I should start “working on it” and laughed hysterically. I laughed and was so embarrassed at the same time lol.

FI’s mom talks about us having kids all the time. It doesn’t really bother me though, we both love kids and are planning on TTC shortly after our wedding (we’ll both be 24 by then). We just bought an SUV and I commented on how there’s lots of space for dogs or babies or whatever and her face just about lit up like a Christmas tree haha.

One kind of strange and funny thing though, our 4 year old nephew is learning the distinction between 1st and 2nd cousins and FI’s mom and sisters told him that if we had babies they would be his 1st cousins. Ever since, he’s just been dropping comments about how I’m going to have a baby, etc. lol. I feel like I need to start really working out my midsection…otherwise other people might start thinking that means rightthissecond lol.

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