(Closed) People assume they are invited…share your funny self-invite story!

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
Member
653 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

misswhereami:  My boss’s wife called me at the office telling me how happy they were to hear of my engagement how exciting, she loves weddings etc.  She then asked me what day the wedding was, I told her and she said ok, I will put it on our calander now and make sure we and our son have nothing planned for that day….. 

I wasn’t even planning on inviting them, but I don’t have a choice now!  I am shocked at how people invite themselves!  I would never assume I was invited to someones wedding until I got an invitation. 

Post # 3
Member
389 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

A girl I knew 6 years ago, who was a friend of a friend, works at a local store, and when I see her we are friendly.  We are friends on facebook, but do not talk at all except when I see her while she is working.  When she saw me after I got engaged she was so excited for me, and said she couldnt wait for the wedding an I could message her on FB for the address.  I had to tell her that we barely had space for family, so unfortunately, she was not invited.  

Even if we had the space, she would not have been on the list, I do not understand why she thought she would be.  I would never assume I was invited to a wedding.  

Post # 4
Member
4037 posts
Honey bee

My first daughter to marry hosted 225 guests. My 2nd to marry fell in love with a venue that held less than 100 (hosted 95). Of course, everyone invited to the 1st one automatically thought they’d be invited to the 2nd one. My Mom even helped out by mentioning that the venue only held 80 or 90, to a number of people.

Perhaps the most incredulous couple, to think they were getting an invitation, was my daughter’s uncle and his wife. We have no contact with them, other than he and my husband exchanging birthday e-mails. They ignored the invitation to the first wedding – didn’t RSVP, didn’t send a congratulatory e-mail, nothing! They started fishing for an invitation about 6 weeks after guests got their save the dates, for the 2nd one. The even got my mother in law into the act; she sent two nasty e-mails to my daughter, demanding that their family be invited. (The kids wouldn’t have been invited, regardless).

The demanding e-mails came the same week my daughter’s 1st cousin sent her an e-mail asking if she could bring her toddler to the adult-only, formal, evening wedding. This was a few years after her own wedding, where she didn’t invite kids, even her husband’s nieces. She thought it would be a good opportunity for her “little monster” (her words), to meet the family. That was shot down pretty quickly, too.

Post # 5
Member
4943 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

misswhereami:  What’s worse is that she suggested you not getting married on a particular day!

Post # 7
Member
106 posts
Blushing bee

I’m dealing with this right now, and we don’t even have a set date yet!! Everyone I know assumes they’ll be invited, but my fiance’s side of the family is small so I agreed to limit my invites so that it’s close friends and family all around… A girl even tried to invite herself into the bridal party!!! It’s an awful feeling, like being in first grade and required to give every kid a valentine, lol!

Post # 8
Member
2169 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception/The Gallery

I’ve had multiple distant cousins invite themselves via Facebook (I’d love to see them all at a family reunion…just not one I’m paying for). My boss asked me the date to put in his calendar (he likely will be invited, but still…)

Oh, one distant cousin (too convoluted to even try explaining the relation, but an affair in the 1930s was involved. No lie.) sent me a text the morning after we got engaged, while we were still on vacation, to ask if we’d set a date and to say that she’s excited to introduce her daughter to her extended family. Like, what?!

The nerve of some people, I swear…

Post # 9
Member
714 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Darling Husband and I live in a small town so everyone knows everyone, we had all the same teachers through school. We ran into our 4th grade teacher in the store and she was talking about the wedding, I’m assuming Mother-In-Law told her. She said oh I know its going to be beautiful I can’t wait. We said thank you. She said I just know I’m going to cry when you say your vows. I said well we will be sure to let you know when the videographer posts the video. I wasn’t trying to be bitchy but really I haven’t seen you in at least 10 years.

Everytime Mother-In-Law went to the store and saw someone she knew she invited them to the wedding. We went from like 85 guests to almost 200 because of her. I had to uninvite more people than we actually planned to invite. It was a second wedding for us both and we were paying for it. We have 4 kids we don’t have a money tree to pay for all these folks. It was the longest year of my life. lol

Post # 10
Member
236 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I ran into some old coworkers at my cousins wedding this summer…haven’t spoken to them in years other than maybe maybe a Facebook post saying happy birthday or congrats on the baby kind if deal…they definitely said things along the line of “you gotta invite me to your wedding” and all. Thankfully we had nothing set in stone yet for venue/date so it was easy to deflect the conversation.

I have some current coworkers assuming they are invited and even threatening to crash the wedding if I don’t.

We had a cousin while asking for addresses to send save the dates and invites make a statement about sending the invite for her and her boyfriend separately from her parents. Now we were planning on giving plus 1s but we have never met said boyfriend and it kind of took me by surprise she made such an assumption he would be invited. Just shook my head and let it go though, if these are the biggest complaints I have about guests throughout this whole ordeal I will consider myself lucky.

Post # 11
Member
5365 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2016

Luckily I haven’t had too many of these. We are having a small, family only (12 guest) wedding in Hawaii. When people ask if I’m inviting them, I say “sure, if you will be in Hawaii at the same time.” and then they never mention it again…

BUT, I did have a very weird incident. I’ve lost both of my parents, but my parents were always really good friends with this couple. Their daughter was only 3 weeks younger than me so we were bestfriends. That couple divorced when we were probably 6ish, and we didn’t see them much after that. I am sometimes in touch with the husband, like he’ll send me something when I reactiavate my facebook for something, and I’ve texted him a couple of times. I’ve talked to him less than 10 times, in the past almost 8 years since I’ve lost my dad. Probably about 6 months after we got engaged he texted me asking how I was and congratulated me on the engagement. Then I was just asking how his kids/grandkids were. Then out of no where, he said “You know I loved your parents. I was thinking, since they are gone and I am your god father, that I could walk to you do isle.”….I was like WTF!! First off, I didn’t even know I HAD a God Father (my parents weren’t religious at all) and where the hell were you when I was 12 and 16, going through the deaths of my parents. Shouldn’t that have been the time to let me know you were my god father?! And second, we are getting married in Hawaii, you will NOT be there. Third, even if I was having a wedding at home, you probably wouldn’t have crossed my mind to even invite. Fourth, you have TWO daughters of your own. Walk them down the damn isle..

People are so weird. I ended the conversation after that and haven’t talked to him since. And Fiance was so confused when I told him about it. 

Post # 12
Member
2871 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

My Future Mother-In-Law actually invited someone to our wedding, three of them. We never sent them an invite at all. About two weeks ago she told us they were coming. Gee, thanks. She is lucky I’m being nice about it. 

She wanted to invite another couple too. Her words “They won’t come, but they will give you a lot of money.” No thanks, not how i roll.

Post # 13
Member
94 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

Darling Husband cousin last thanksgiving said infront of everyone “I didn’t get mine yet” at grandma’s house holding up STD card we sent grandma… None of his cousins were invited except the one that married us(the only one Darling Husband even talks to outside of fmaily gatherings). Embarrassing for everyone! Darling Husband has A LOT of cousins plus they all have their own families. Sorry?

Post # 14
Member
144 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

People can be so rude! We sent our STD out a couple months ago (mostly hand delivered) and I have had texts asking why hasn’t x and y recieved their Save-The-Date Cards yet! So awkward! No STD =  not invited! 

Post # 15
Member
3222 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

Fiance and I were apartment hunting last month in the city we’re moving to. We were chit-chatting with this one lady who showed us a nice townhouse. It’s one we probably would have rented, except while we were talking and she asked us the questions like “do you have kids living with you” we mentioned that we were engaged. And she got ridiculously excited and said, “You could get married in town! I have a dress!”

Seriously, we went with a different townhouse. Even after she called and dropped the price for us. Sometimes it isn’t the deal it looks like…

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