(Closed) People assume they are invited…share your funny self-invite story!

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 31
Member
12 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2015

Oh man, I had so many people trying to invite themselves to my wedding!

1. a casual friend got miffed when her boyfriend of 6 months (that i had never met) wasn’t invited, and told me that if he didn’t come, she wasnt coming. Lol ok fine.

2. When we announced our engagement, a girl I went to school with who I hadnt talked to in 2 years messaged me on Facebook gushing about the outfit she wants to wear to the wedding. I was guilted into sending her an invite and am PRAYING that she doesn’t turn up. 

3. Another casual friend, this one my FIs, that we did NOT send an invite too just told us that he was coming because he’d seen his sisters’ invite on the fridge. 

4. My dad invited his former girlfriend (which I allowed because they are lifelong friends), and asked if he could bring a few more friends. No. You can’t. 

5. My bridesmaids’ mother asked if she could bring her preteen son along to spend “family time” with my bridesmaid at the wedding. Erm yeah bit awkward. I said no because the bridesmaid ended up having to drop out anyway due to personal reasons.

6. teenage cousins assuming that they can bring along their girlfriends once they knew another cousin couldn’t make it- no way. It’s not a ‘one in, one out’ situation. I don’t wants ransoms at my wedding who don’t even know my husbands name. 

 

Thats is all I can think of off the top of my head. this wedding planning has been beyond stressful, I can’t wait until it’s over so I can enjoy married life in peace 

 

Post # 32
Member
221 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I had a coworker I’m not close with tell me his sister lived in the area where I was getting married so it would be perfect he could stay with her. Umm who said you were invited?

i also had the opposite happen. We got close with a couple a few months before their wedding. We never brought up being invited because we knew it was so close. on their own they mentioned really wanting to invite us and asking for our address. Well I guess they realized they didn’t have room and we never got the invitation. we weren’t upset cuz we never expected to be invited but still, dont promise invites to people unless you know. 

Post # 33
Member
3948 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

When DH and I started dating in high school, there was a girl at my school that had apparently had a crush on him for years. Our first date was to my high school homecoming dance (as “just friends”) – she asked to dance with him and then proceeded to confess her feelings for him – while he was at the dance with me!

Even after we became a couple, she kept assuming we were friends (DH is much too nice to people sometimes). When we got engaged, she asked for our date so she could start making our wedding gift. I couldn’t believe she actually thought she’d be invited. I’d hadn’t even seen or spoken to her in years at that point.

Post # 34
Member
444 posts
Helper bee

When I posted my engagement change of status on FB my ex boyfriend messaged me asking if he was going to be invited….urm no! he liked the change of status, he also commented a mushy thing urg!

Post # 35
Member
4044 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

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misswhereami:  A little different BUT – a friend of my DH’s RSVPd no for his wife and yes for himself. Two days before the wedding we got a text, “Hey – so my wife can come now. If you can’t accomodate her, I’ll just stand at the reception and we can share my dinner”.

UH – what?!

Post # 36
Member
1303 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

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misswhereami:  When we got engaged and tentatively set our first date for the next year, we told our family we didn’t know where we wanted to get married, but we wanted a small, intimate wedding.  Besides the date and the small wedding part, we had made ZERO plans. DH’s dad went and called ALL of his friends and family (like 200 people) and told them the date and location of the wedding (um, where?!) and that invites would be in the mail soon. 

Yeah…NO.

I was livid.  To make it worse, DH’s dad emailed me the list of the people he invited and where they lived and told me that the brides family traditionally pays for everyone to fly out.  I asked him if my father traded me for a cow or something for my dowry. He didn’t think that was very funny. 

We moved the date up a year and I made DH’s dad call all the people he invited and un-invite them. DH didn’t even know half of the people! I really didn’t care if he made me sound like a bitch – I didn’t want 200+ people at our small wedding!!

He is still sour about it and it’s been four years! 

Post # 37
Member
2769 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

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kraykitty:  it could ve gone either way, but we decided not to rent there and find out!

Post # 39
Member
681 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

Haha this is a brilliant thread…I’ve got two good stories. A colleague of mine that is the least self aware chatterbox i know, started asking questions about wedding colours and stuff as if she was looking to match. Erh nah sweetie! I even had to move my desk away from hers as people were associating me as a chatterbox too. Seriously she could go on for 25mins non stop real loud in a SILENT office, nightmare lol.

The other one is family friend aka “uncle” that I was close to his family as a kid, but not so much when I got older. My sis and I been in our house damn near 3 years and he’s called and visited once when my dad came flew in to visit us earlier this year. So why has he started calling my landline (I never answer that phone, my sis does) asking how i’m doing, my FI and he wants to come ‘check on me’ with his daughter because he’s been a bad uncle and doesn’t call??????????? Minus that day I spoke to you when my dad was here, I ain’t held a convo with you longer than 30 seconds for 8 or so years! You are not on the guest list (Of 120) bruh, don’t go to the trouble of a fake visit to try and get one for your family of FIVE

Post # 40
Member
681 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

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cooperlove:  Ahhhhh hell no! My mum tried to invite everyone she knew, my dad fixed that one quick fast and in a hurry haha! Even her friends grown up (older than me) children, my head hurts even thinking about it lol

Post # 41
Member
1303 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

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misswhereami:  oh yeah, unfortunately, that’s how it is. We paid for everything (except the reception dinner at the last minute because my parents took care of it for us as a surprise!!) but I invited a few friends of my parents becuase they were both such a huge help with everything. 

People are so amazingly rude regarding weddings.  Maybe sit your parents down and tell them you have a budget and it won’t allow for all these invited guests you don’t want.  They may pony up or back off the guest list

Post # 42
Member
782 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

My Fiance had this person he sort of grew up with. We had them on our guest list and my mother in law crossed the family off. At a later time my father in law freaked cause they were not invited. I was like uh your wife crossed them off not us and he shut up. Anyways she came over to try to sell us some workout thing. She said something along the lines of ” I can not wait to see you in your dress on your wedding day” I was like wow how awkward!

Post # 43
Member
100 posts
Blushing bee

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misswhereami:  Good luck to you too!! Sending drama free thoughts your way… 🙂

Post # 44
Member
499 posts
Helper bee

I’ve only had one person, but I think the crisis had been averted for future wedding related events. 

She used to work with me and didn’t really consider her a friend, more so an acquaintance. I left the job over two years ago and hadn’t heard or seen her since. She learned about my engagement through a mutual friend and started dropping hints through social media (snapchat since I don’t have anything else). Like I would post a video of dishes on my story and she would respond with “I love dishes! How’s wedding planning going? I love weddings!” … Awkward. 

A different mutual friend thought I had invited EVERYONE from my old job to my engagement party asked if she was coming and she FLIPPED OUT. I had to talk to this friend about it.  But still never heard directly from the girl. 

This was also the same girl who told everyone that my boyfriend at the time was fake (cause he never visited me at work or sent flowers) and she thinks she’s getting an invite to anything wedding related?! Pfft. She needs to take a seat. 

I still find it so odd that people who fish for invitations are usually the ones you aren’t going to invite and the people who you want to invite are the ones so gracious to get an invitation. 

Post # 45
Member
228 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

View original reply
misswhereami:  In my culture, weddings are an almost week long event. We have a family friend (with 6 people in the family) who we invited to the wedding. They were however not invited to the event the day before the wedding but heard from mutual friends and showed up. We did not mind since they are fun to be around, we had enough food and there was no venue restriction. 🙂 

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